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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pretty peed off - childminder

26 replies

Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 20/10/2019 21:02

15 month DC goes to childminder with 2 others one same age and one 10 months. I’m good friends with the other 15 month olds DM. Gets a txt from her Tues morning saying her DC won’t be in as had D&V through night is my DC ok could they have picked it up their. Said no my DC fine but my DC doesn’t do Fridays or Mondays.

She was winging about having a busy week at work and hoped her DC was ok tomorrow. I said oh hopefully but you won’t be able to take them back until 48 hrs after their last vomit or loose nappy.

Cut to Weds and when I drop off my DC I’m surprised to see hers their too. I remarked to CM about my surprise who said oh it’s been so long since she was last sick it should be ok Confused. Text friend who said oh yes well CM said as she hadn’t been sick since the early hrs of Tues she could go back. I think she was still being sick at 7am so not early hrs!!

Fast forward to Friday morning and my DC wakes up covered in sick bad nappies etc. Flaming great!! In all fairness he was fine by Friday lunchtime. But then yesterday me and DH started with it and it has floored us. Clearly Noro. I’m absolutely furious! I really feel like I should say something to CM she’s been doing it 30 odd years, she knows the score!! And the 48 hour rule! But DH says we don’t know what the other Mum has said!!! How should I play it with CM, I can’t not say anything can I?!?

OP posts:
partysong · 20/10/2019 21:07

I would be massively pissed off too but I assume she lied to CM? Our CM rule is a clear 48 hours

FishFunk · 20/10/2019 21:10

It’s not “clearly Noro” FFS. It took your DC a few hours to get over it.

YABU. Kids pick bugs up, that’s how it goes, he could have picked it up anywhere.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/10/2019 21:10

Yes you should definitely say something. The NHS is really clear about the 48 hour rule. Is it possible she isn't clear on it?!

If it's any consolation it doesn't sound like Norovirus if your DC was only sick for a morning.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 20/10/2019 21:13

Yeah, that's not Noro, but it's still annoying. I'd say something to the CM, or find another one.

FREEM · 20/10/2019 21:15

I think you need to chat with the childminder about it.
she may also have had it!

Thehop · 20/10/2019 21:16

It’s not noroviris

But still a flouting of really important rules by childminder (god knows why, she’d still have been paid)

Put a complaint in to her, and think about one to OFSTED if unsatisfied

TruffleShuffles · 20/10/2019 21:20

Are you sure it’s not your friend who hasn’t been completely honest to the child minder over when the child was last sick? As another pp has said the child minder would still have been paid if the child was off sick or not so there would be no reason for her to have a sick child there unnecessarily.

Spied · 20/10/2019 21:20

Cm's cutting corners. Tbh I'd wonder what else she's lax about.
She certainly hasn't taken your DC's health into consideration.
Unless your dfriend has lied about the last time her DD was sick.

Original poster
Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 20/10/2019 21:21

@FishFunk yes but both me and DH are completely fked!!! I’ve had Noro before and this is what it felt like flu with D&V. DH is self employed so no sick pay and I have a massive week at work next week! There’s no way we can go in!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 20/10/2019 21:23

Apparently it effects adults much worse than littlies

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 20/10/2019 21:24

It's annoying but also just life with kids, bugs and germs. Currently our school has gone to 24hrs DV free, i thought this was new policy?

Candle1000 · 20/10/2019 21:25

Def mention it to the child minder and see what she says a the other mum may have lied to her .

HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/10/2019 21:27

Not true @Mrsgogginsthe3rd, symptoms are similar in all ages, although kids seem more prone to vomiting and therefore dehydration.

Still horrible for anyone that gets it.

Glenthebattleostrich · 20/10/2019 21:33

I would definitely mention it. I have a 48 hour exclusion and it's tough if parents have a busy week or whatever. If a child has DV you keep them at home for 48 hours from the last incident of DV.

It's not fair on other families and if I catch it I have to close, it usually ends up going through my whole family and that's a week or mores wages gone. That's also several families without childcare.

Schuyler · 20/10/2019 21:37

YWBU to assume the childminder knew the truth, the mum may well have lied.

Sunshine196 · 20/10/2019 21:39

I'd be surprised if the childminder let them back early as she would be putting herself at risk of catching it & being off poorly & presumably not earning. Usually places are pretty strict about this rule.

Venger · 20/10/2019 21:41

Put a complaint in to her, and think about one to OFSTED if unsatisfied

There is no need for a complaint and I can guarantee you that Ofsted will not give one sloppy shit about this issue.

OP, you don't know what your friend actually said to the CM or what the CM's actual response was. Almost all childcare issues can be resolved by simply talking to your childcare provider and I recommend that this is what you do.

The most likely scenarios here are:

  • friend lied to CM about when her DC was last sick and then lied to you about what the CM supposedly said
  • CM operates a 24hr rule rather than 48hrs. NHS guidance is 48hrs but it is not enshrined in law, it is only a guideline, and lots of places operate a 24hr policy instead
  • CM felt obliged to admit the child for whatever reason (e.g., pressure from the mother) and didn't have the confidence to say no

Either way, talk to her.

Cherrysoup · 20/10/2019 21:43

I think you should definitely mention it and tell her you were sick. Idiotic of your friend to still send her dc so soon.

Needaheadwobble · 20/10/2019 21:46

The 'rules' have changed recently, it's 24 hours for sickness but 48 hours if they have diarrhoea too. Saying that, it depends on the particular childminders policy.

I'd definitely mention it to the childminder as if you don't, it could happen again. That being said, I'm a childcare provider myself and know how difficult it can be when being guilt tripped so please be nice Wink

Original poster
Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 20/10/2019 22:02

Sounds like people are thinking along DH’a lines of we can’t be sure what’s been said. But then again if it’s now 24 hrs for sickness clearly no ones done anything wrong - but on the other hand it’s clearly a pointless exercise as us all being ill is case in point!! Friend and her DH and her FIL have it too and she was saying only FIL and DH has diarrhoea too she hasn’t been bum ill.

I know kids pick up stuff and I’m normally in that camp but for us to pick up something that means we physically can’t work not even from home is a big deal - especially when it could have been prevented.

Nah didn’t pick anywhere @combatbarbie incubation for these sorts of things is short and he’s only been at childminders, my Dads and in their house all day due to rain and in our house all day Sunday due to rain so it’s far too much of a coincidence.

I’ll say something, but I think go in with the assumption that CM didn’t have full facts. I know it’s annoying but there’d be no way I’d take my DC I’d feel too guilty. Especially not when they’ve got a littlie there as well.

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 21/10/2019 07:53

Yes but OP remember incubation periods, the other child could have or probably was carrying the virus the day or two before symptoms.... Its how viruses spread so quickly. Chicken pox is contagious before the spots even appear.

M0nkeybutler · 21/10/2019 09:02

@Needaheadwobble the rules have not changed.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/diarrhoea-and-vomiting/

Fatted · 21/10/2019 09:07

Your DC probably picked it up from the CM at the same time as your friends!

I'd speak to the CM about it. But I know my DC school and CM both have the rule of 24 hours from when last sick.

TabbyMumz · 21/10/2019 09:34

The NHS guidance, is just that, guidance. It isn't "rules". Its not against the law to go to work or school under 2 days. However, that's not to say I dont agree with it...it would be lovely if we could all take two days off after being sick, but in reality that just doesnt happen, and this how bugs spread.

DialANumber · 21/10/2019 09:40

It's unlikely to be noro with the gaps between starting.

You have no idea what info the cm was given and tbf you don't know that's where you all got it from.

We've been really strict on 48 hr rules before and still all caught stuff, and equally been careless about mixing kids within 24 hours before and not caught anything. There's no guarantees tbh and small children are disgusting.

I'm sorry you're ill, but I wouldn't be laying this at the cm door. Be cross with the other parents if you must.