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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To box up the playstation?

20 replies

theendofsummer · 20/10/2019 19:20

We removed the playstation from Ds (13) for terrible behaviour. He was constantly shouting and yelling into the headset, friending anyone (despite us saying no), wanting to be on it all the time , getting up at 5am to play on it, not wanting to do anything except play online,refusing to go to usual activities, having shocking tantrums and being verbally and physically aggressive when we limited the time and using poor language.
He is still asking for it back. Every day. He has tried to persuade me by saying he has changed and it won't happen again. But I never want him playing online ever again. He has a master account, so I would not be able to stop him going into game chat. Games can't be transferred from master to sub account. When we got the playstation several years ago, was unaware of this.
He keeps saying I have made him depressed and I am very wrong for keeping it unplugged . Should I just bite the bullet and say he can never use it again?
He simply cannot handle online gaming. He was totally drawn into talking to other people. Even though the playstation was in the living room, he still did what he asked him not to do. He even kept pushing me aggressively out of the living room and shut the door . It's been 2 weeks since it was removed and he gets bored very quickly and starts scowling and wanting it back. He still uses his PS3, which has no internet connected and he is fine when he plays on that.
Please don't be judged. This is a very difficult process with a strong willed teenager

OP posts:
gingerfreckles · 20/10/2019 19:23

If you e gone two weeks without it I wouldn't go back no way. Well done you for not giving in. If he says that not having it has made him depressed that's every reason to believe that it was addictive and shouldn't have it back.

ThatMuppetShow · 20/10/2019 19:27

I so hate these things, complete waste of time for kids, I can only applaud you. So many parents are complaining about horrible game-related behaviour, but do nothing about it!

To make your life easier, make plans for the next half term, and maybe suggest joining a club, or adding to existing after school or club activity - basically get him out of the house as much as possible.

Stick with the PS3 if that is ok, why on earthy would you mess up his life and yours by giving the other one back.

Original poster
theendofsummer · 20/10/2019 19:28

He's often says I am ruining his life. He is so desperate to use it because many other boys at school play it. He says other mum's don't control their kids like I do. He also says he wishes he wasn't in this family and other nasty things

OP posts:
HowManyToes · 20/10/2019 19:29

Pushing you out of your living room? Would I fuck give it back!

Oliphantitus · 20/10/2019 19:32

Stick to your guns. Mine is going tomorrow, so that will be fun. One of my kids is fine but the younger one becomes aggressive, rude and has temper tantrums like your son. We went for a long walk the other day and he was lovely. Back to horrible today, so it is going!!

Original poster
theendofsummer · 20/10/2019 19:36

HowManyToes screaming at me and saying "you're scared of me aren't you". Pushing me to the edge and then calling me a crybaby. Zero compassion. His sole focus was to be gaming. Like a drug addict!

OP posts:
Original poster
theendofsummer · 20/10/2019 19:40

Oliphantitus I should not make a sweeping statement but I honestly believe that kids like mine simply cannot handle gaming. It caused massive stress and ruined the summer holidays. I even had an ECG recently as I went to the GP with flutters in the chest and felt like my heart was "heavy". Results all normal but it shows it has serious consequences

OP posts:
ThatMuppetShow · 20/10/2019 19:43

He says other mum's don't control their kids like I do. He also says he wishes he wasn't in this family and other nasty things

Any parent will hear that from nursery! But ALL MY FRIENDS can do this and that! Yeah, yeah, you are so unlucky you were born in this family, tough 🤷

I hate online gaming, and I despair when I read so many threads about parents whose kids refuse to do anything and go anywhere because of them - let alone horrendous behaviour. If they can't be used in a decent manner, get rid of!

AloeVeraLynn · 20/10/2019 19:46

Absolutely not unreasonable. Any of my kids put their hands on me or verbally abuse me and their consoles would be boxed up and sold.
Stick to your guns. This addictive gaming behaviour is epidemic and more parents need to take control and actually parent their kids in the way you are.
If you give it back then it ultimately sends the message that being an abusive manipulative little shit gets him what he wants.

ThatMuppetShow · 20/10/2019 19:46

screaming at me and saying "you're scared of me aren't you". Pushing me to the edge and then calling me a crybaby.

I would react a lot more strongly than merely removing the playstation if any of my kids would pull up a stunt like that.

Original poster
theendofsummer · 20/10/2019 19:51

ThatMuppetShow what would you do?

OP posts:
ThatMuppetShow · 20/10/2019 21:32

depends on the child to be honest.

Of course they would be firmly grounded, but one of mine is very sporty and competitive, so that will be a ban from competition for a while and a lot of extra homework. The other would be quite happy pottering in their bedroom, so grounding would involve a lot of chores - and sports club would carry on...

Obviously no more pocket money but paid work to learn to respect their house and their parents. But again I think punishment vary a lot depending on child and current circumstances - and current school results frankly.

RubbingHimSourly · 20/10/2019 21:38

I honestly think some people / kids cannot cope with gaming and having access to the internet in general..........my niece is one of them..she has a very basic Nokia phone and that's it. This was because of the massive decline in her behaviour, her parents tried everything and more but the reality is she's a far happier person without access to screens. Maybe at some point she'll mature and be able to control herself better but for now she just can't do it.

ThatMuppetShow · 20/10/2019 22:42

when you read how aggressive and bitter some posters are on here, I think some adults struggle a lot with internet too!

GreenTulips · 20/10/2019 22:50

It’s your decision as you know him

So decide - bin it - or limit it

Look at a koala box £70 and you can control their internet access, each device each website. Set time limits, restricted to homework mode, social media, everything.

It’s sets up a separate network so anything else your phone sky any blue tooth device can use the main WiFi - it works

Original poster
theendofsummer · 21/10/2019 09:46

When I bought a Q Time device, he disconnected it. He knew what it was for and hated it

OP posts:
Greyponcho · 21/10/2019 09:50

I’d be boxing up his other console too if he can’t show respect...

NearlyGranny · 21/10/2019 09:56

No, stick to your guns. Teenage son of old friends became so addicted he woukd pee into a bottle and poo in a plastic bag rather than leave the screen for a minute. His DSM and DF found these offerings when tracing the smell in the house...

Boy was being privately educated at huge expense but crashed out without qualifications and is now an adult bumping along the bottom.

You are doing him a huge favour.

bestthingsinceslicedbread · 21/10/2019 10:11

We have recently removed our PlayStation as our oldest DS was getting addicted. It was all he talked about. I agree with a poster above that some children just can't handle it. It has been a few weeks since we got rid of it and DS has actually started to play with his toys again.. We also haven't had any tantrums. We will be selling the PlayStation in the next few weeks.
My advice is stick to your guns.

Daddystilllost · 21/10/2019 10:41

@Oliphantitus Good luck Gin

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