For a bit of back ground info. Me and my children’s father spilt 3 years ago, for the last 2 years I’ve been in a relationship with my current partner. Me and my ex had a good co parent relationship until he met his partner.
He has a widowed step mum his dad died about 15 years ago and him and the step mum weren’t close before of after his dad died. However she does have a relationship with his sister (an still does) But wen our children were born I made a big effort to include her as I felt sorry for her she had been single since his dads death an seemed like a nice women, she developed a very non hands on grandma roll I.e see them an hour every week in our home bring sweets be amazing get them hyped up then leave but never offer any real help her choice. When we separated this continued at ex’s house I had no contact with her for a year no fall out but just no need to.
Then he met his partner I’m not sure what exactly happened but they became too busy to let her see the children so she contacted me and my partner to see them at mine. All fine we welcomed her into our home although she not our family and started to include her in our family things. Including our own daughters birth and events. She came round once a week wen suited her apart from been a little annoying sometimes we pottered along with it.
Now the last year it’s seemed to go massively down hill and I’m left thinking this women isn’t my family I wouldn’t let someone of my own family treat me this way but why her? Exzamples of this are:
My ex caused a lot of problems for us and the children last year he wasn’t looking after them properly social services were involved he tried to abduct the children etc and it went to court they made our life’s hell the whole of my pregnancy with my daughter I had to stand in court 5 weeks after she was born (4 weeks early) exhausted from being in Nicu an breast feeding a new born. the whole time she refused to give an opinion on the situation an “stated I would never choose sides or talk badly of either party” this left us with a bit of a bad taste in our mouth as she was happy to take our hospitality but not show us support when he was making our life’s a misery.
My ex pays £30 a month maintainance for two children previously paid £150 but wen the court thing happened he reported to csa he earns 60 a week as he’s self employed. Once again she refused to comment. Leaving us feeling disgruntled paying for everything the boys needed plus a £1200 a month nursery bill which he decided he would contact when ever he liked for updates on there education and progress. Nursery stated they couldn’t refuse him this info as he has PR even tho we foot the bill. Once again she won’t get involved.
We have one family member who really helps us out my partners sister not even my children’s biological auntie but she would do anything for us and constantly bends over backward to help us out the kids love her and I have so much respect for everything she does for us. at my daughters birthday party she put her down on numerous occasions and made out she was so much better than her I.e lived in a better place. This really upset my partners sister.
We constantly invite her and her partner round, he never comes says the children arnt his thing. But his own grandchildren are he only comes if theirs something exciting happening or to be nosey he didn’t even visit when our daughter was born. She constant makes excuses about why he refuses our invitation such as he thinks he will get ill from the children colds. She tells us about these lovely BBQs and parties they hold but never invite us. She comes round every week hook or by crook even if we don’t want her too. She’s started to undermine our parenting. She’s rude to our family. She’s demanding and makes out she’s the best thing since sliced bread. An is over opinionated. only ever gives fake offers of help and basically just uses us as an opportunity to take pictures and tell everyone how much of an amazing grandma she is.
Now due to circumstances we could of really used some extra help this week and it’s obvious but she hasn’t offered any only a txt saying if you really need my help let me know but I’m away at the weekend. It’s left me thinking I wouldn’t and don’t let my own family treat me like this, she’s not even my bloody family why am I putting up with this???
Sorry for the essay!!