To think that some people really just love drama?

[SpiderCharlotte]

I've just been to a 40th birthday lunch for a friend of mine. Was a 'surprise' lunch in a village hall so lots of people there, including someone I remember from many moons ago. I remember her really well because I gave her a really wide berth as she was someone who seemed to fall out with everyone.

We were mulling around chatting etc and I found myself kind of cornered by this woman. She asked me about various mutual friends (who were at the party anyway) then told me how she had fallen out with each and every one and no longer spoke to any of them. She was smiling as she told me this, tried to tell me the details but I said that as I was still friends with them, perhaps it was best to leave it at that and politely made my excuses. About half an hour later, she came back up to me and accused me of being rude and who did I think I was blah blah blah (she was a bit pissed by this point). I just looked at her blankly because I was a bit taken aback before the poor host kind of led her away saying 'please, not here'. I barely know this person. Why do people do this? Are they so bored they have to create drama for themselves? It's weird.

Ive come across a few people like this in my life.

I honestly put it down to insecurity/low self esteem/unhappiness within themselves. I dont hate them for it but avoid them as much as I can

I also loved Bottle Boys!!!!!

Sorry wrong thread

Yes. I've got a colleague like it. Immature as fuck (and boring with it)

told me how she'd fallen out with each and every one of them then half an hour later accused me of being rude. She's obviously either really thick or else as you say loves the drama/ loves pissing people off. At least you know it's nothing you did so ignore, ignore!

Drama is probably all they knew in their childhoods and they probably feel unfamiliar maybe even unsafe in environments without drama. They might need the drama to hold onto their identity and know where they stand.

That doesn’t make them any less draining to be around though.

Yes my ex in laws were exactly the same. Their whole lives revolved around falling out with someone then re-discussing the incident/slagging off the person/people for many months to follow. Rinse repeat. I did sometimes wonder if they truly believed it was everyone else constantly in the wrong. It was a very boring and draining time in my life listening to their drama. Needless to say they were very lonely people who had no friendship circles outside of the family.

I think these kind of people must have little else fulfilling their lives. I don’t mean that in the bitchy way it comes across. Its just something I’ve picked up over the years of encountering people like this. They’re not happy. People who are generally happy don’t look for reasons to snipe at others and cause friction. It just isn’t on their radar. They’re just in the moment/conversation and living whereas people who are unhappy are seeking out whatever it is they think will fulfil them or seeking something to blame for their misery.

There’s a saying- “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

I have an aunt like this, I actively avoid her and haven't seen her for a few years. It's really draining because she insists on telling you why everyone else is wrong and how badly she has been treated by them. I really want to say "there is a common denominator - you" but have because she's old and unlikely to change! I feel you pain and YANBU.

It must be so exhausting though! There's a woman who lives really close to me who seems to have fallen out with just about every other woman in the village (including me, except I didn't realise until someone told me as we were never particular friends).

She's 'best friends' with someone for a year or so then they 'do her wrong' and that's that. She's literally run out of people now.

I occasionally come across a colleague like this. As well as the outrageous behaviour that seemingly half the company have inflicted on her, everything is a major issue.

She once had a flat tire, and I swear she created more fuss than most people would if their car had been stolen and they'd found Freddy Kruger in its place. Even booking a dentist appointment is a performance. Because of course, everyone she deals with is deliberately cuntish and out to make her life hard.

I think my favourite was when her dc was mildly ill at school, and she blamed a colleague because the day before he wouldn't swop days with her. Apparently if he had she'd have been at home and therefore able to collect dc in 15 minutes, instead of 30. As a result, her dcs mild bug was supposedly nearly fatal because of the delay. Despite not seeking any medical assistance and dc back in school next day.

I have a drama loving relative, we avoid her as much as possible.

Yup some people just love a drama. If they’re aren’t any about they create them.

Yanbu - as others have said it seems to be people who are lonely, low self esteem, crave attention and don't know a healthy way of getting it or people that just don't have enough going on in their own lives.

All my in laws have lived in the same village all their lives, most don't work have anything to distract them other than village gossip and drama. Lots of mudslinging on FB and the local pub, falling out with people who were their closest friends the previous week over small perceived slights. Quite exhausting so we stopped visiting. Surely, there must come a point where you think it might possibly be you who's the problem and not the 30 or so people who've 'wronged' you but it never seems to click?
At work I adjust avoid and don't engage - would rather be known as a miserable, anti social wanker than a drama lama shit stirrer tbh.

That was meant to say most don't have any hobbies/work to distract them

Oh god I hate drama llamas, sounds like you did well to avoid and host obvs knows what she's like!

People like this just end up alienating everyone in the end...

Just curious but why was she invited?

Lived on a few estates in which this is all some groups of people do with their lives and childen all day everyday.

I knew a girl like this at school, she was always stirring ppl up against each other and causing rows. She just grow out of it and basically lost all her friends eventually. She also did that thing of making someone her BFF and being all obsessive over them and then turning on them the next wk. Exhausting is the word.

Just curious but why was she invited?

She's married to a member of the hosts family, otherwise I doubt she would have been.

I posted a thread similar last night. I don’t understand Why ppl love drama. I think they try to make themselves feel better. A poster in my thread brought up BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I think this is a Case for most of the drama queens out there. Maybe also people with too much time on their hands seem to love drama

How did u feel when she had a go at you and cornered u? We’re u able to get over it quickly? That’s my problem that I can’t get over drama caused by others and it stays with me for a few days!

I had a relative exactly like this. They are no contact with me. The thing is from the outside they appeared mentally very well, held down professional jobs, had a lovely solo life...it would just appear that they expected people to be perfect and fell out with them over tiny human errors.

If you looked closer you'd see that all friendships were very short lived, they were no contact with most of their family, had never managed a successful relationship, each career move was due to grievances at work, they constantly complained about any public service and took law suits out right left and centre, they were massively in debt and lived in chaos and they were desperately, desperately unhappy with no hobbies, no loving relationships (they pushed every one away) and nothing to fill their lives except poisonous thoughts and falling out with everyone they ever knew and trying to take revenge by wrecking innocent people's lives. They were shockingly destructive both to others and themselves but utterly charming and brilliant at acting.

It took decades and losing almost everything before they were finally diagnosed with a personality disorder by several leading psychiatrists (only the best would do for them!) and assessed as presenting a significant risk of harm to people around them due to their obsessional thoughts and compulsions.

Even though they abused me in various ways from childhood, I do feel extremely sorry for them. They had nothing in their life at all except bitterness, anger and a desire to destroy families, careers, friendships etc. It definitely stemmed from childhood trauma with this person. You know, from your description this could even be the same person.

My relative just appeared like a bit of an over familiar gossip. You wouldn't know from appearances that they had a significant psychiatric illness.