To want another baby when I struggled so much the first time?

[RoseAlil]

Hoping for some experiences and words of wisdom from Mumsnet.

I have a beautiful 16 month old little girl. She had terrible colic (undiagnosed dairy allergy) and was just generally a very unhappy baby. She basically cried all day for 11 months until she could confidently walk. She’s still a whirlwind now but it’s got easier.

I struggled a lot. Luckily I didn’t have postnatal depression but I compared myself to friends who seemed to have very easy babies. I had no life, couldn’t really go anywhere as she hated her pram, car seat and never sat still for one second- crawled before she could sit up! I absolutely adore her and love being her Mum, loved breastfeeding etc. but she also nearly broke me/ our marriage!

So after all that. Lately I’ve been thinking about baby number two! I think I must be crazy, and DH isn’t keen at all but I think he would agree.

I love my siblings and couldn’t imagine life without them (he is an only child).

I almost think it would be better to have another, get these difficult years out the way and we’ll be thankful in 10 years time.

I just don’t know how I’d cope if the other baby was as hard work as my first- but at the same time I’d know what I was doing so may be able to handle it more. But equally worried about my mental health and the effect it could have on DD (smallish house- crying baby!)

So- did you go back for more if you struggled with your first baby?

I didn't struggle quite as much as you but my first was hard work. Major velcro baby, high strung, crappy sleeper, some reflux I think in retrospect. And I just found the whole massive shock of a baby overwhelming and suffered PND.

DC1 was 2 before I felt ready to try again. Two is logistically more complicated than one, of course. But psychologically speaking DC2 has been a fucking breeze. He's a somewhat more chilled baby but mostly I have better coping strategies and way more perspective. I understand babies now and most specifically how short each stage actually is. also I already have no life from DC1 so nothing to lose

It's always possible you could get another challenging baby/with health issues but if you think you could deal with that, I think many people do find a second easier.

Thanks @CmdrCressidaDuck I think that’s what I’d like to happen but it’s a baby lottery I suppose. 16 months is still young so maybe I need to wait a while longer!