To be pulling my f'ing hair out??

[Amimissingsomethinghere]

I am at my wits end. Sorry cheeky to post on AINBU.

Please, PLEASE if you can offer some advice or tips!

My 1.5 year old is an early riser. It's always 5 or 5:30 but more recently it's been 4:30..... this has been going on since MAY.

He has quite a rigid routine and up until a week ago napped really well in the day. At the moment (god knows why) he fights naps and will only sleep in the car.

Anyway. Routine is dinner 5:30, bath 6:30, bottle and book and in bed by 7. I can see on the monitor he falls asleep at 7:30. He sleeps through without a peep, then all HELL breaks loose by 5.

He just goes MENTAL! He's howling and screaming.

What I have tried :

An earlier bedtime (6:30)
A later bedtime (7:30)
Offering milk at 5am (stupid)
No naps in day
Longer naps in day
Leaving him to cry it out (he will solidly scream for 45mins plus)
Leaving him to cry but going in intermittently to calm him (went even more mental)
Leaving toys in cot (just throws them)

Room is completely blacked out and he's in a sleeping bag and has dummies.

PLEASE give me your tips. My husband and I end up arguing and it always sets a miserable tone for the rest of the day and I know I am lucky he sleeps through but the waking up hysterical and so early is just making me feel so crap and rubbish and sad.

Thank you amazing mums and dads !!!

Can you try a much later bedtime?
8:30 perhaps? It did actually help my toddler sleep a little later in the morning at about 18months old. 8:30 might sound late, but you could try it for a short time.

He is older now (nearly 3), so we have to stop him from napping and brought his bedtime back to 7:30. He sleeps until about 6:30 now

I had this with my DD. Woke at 5am regardless of bed time. I changed my routine and also went to bed reasonably early to be able to get up with her. At weekends when DH was home I could go back to bed after he woke up. Routine worked well. The hours of 5 to 9am can be productive so long as you have had enough sleep not hung over

@Whatjusthappenedthere yes that's sort of what I'm doing but then I feel ALL the guilt because he ends up watching so much telly.

@Lilonetwo could definitely try this. I am just a bit terrified because it's one thing getting him to stay up that late and another thing if he wakes at 5 as he will be grumpy as hell.
Did it take many late nights before your LO settled into sleeping later?

That sounds grim OP.

Sounds like you’ve really tried to solve it but to no avail. How about pushing dinner, bath, bed back even more? Keep him up playing as long as you can? See if that helps.

Hope you find something that works soon OP!

No tips other than take shifts if you can. It's a sleep regression/development leap. You just have to get through it. Whatever works one night probably wont work the next.

Some are just early risers. DC2 did that but quite often would be up 2 or 3 times and then up at 4.30. it's really tough but you just have to go to bed earlier yourself. Also take it in turns to get up.

DC2 has now turned 2 and just got much better. Not sure if it the dark mornings but has been sleeping later just now.

I have an early riser. He has never in his life slept in past 7 and after 6 is a treat.

I would try to eliminate any reasons why he might be waking. Ie dinner at 4pm, then cereal just before bed to make sure hes not hungry. And make sure hes not coming out of his duvet/blanket as temperature will drop around then.

My FIL managed to get him to sleep later by going in and saying "it's too early, back to sleep" but that approach has never worked for me. If I'm honest I just go to his bed (double bed) and doze beside him while he annoys me. I try to keep it really boring until 7am, no tv, no chatting etc.

Is it pitch black in his room? Mine needs a bit of light from the landing so if he wakes he can find his teddy, dummy etc. If we shut his door he wakes early crying.

Yep, I’ve got early risers, and mine are well into primary school age now. I just went to bed earlier and changed the pattern of my day to fit theirs. It was less painful than fighting it for me.
Nowadays they can get themselves up (after they’ve read for 30 minutes) and get breakfast. On the plus side they are always ready for school on time!

Have you set the heating to come on at 5.30 am? Many years ago my cousin's eldest started waking much earlier for no obvious reason. Eventually they twigged - the only 'change' was the boiler firing up every morning.

My daughter used to do this, I used to take her a bottle change her and she would go back to sleep for an hour. I didn’t switch the light on or talk and treated it the same way as the middle of the night. It took about 3 goes and she started sleeping longer on her own . Good luck

Morning TV has been the saviour in most houses OP so don’t feel guilty. But come to think of it maybe that’s why he wakes , he’s looking forward to watching the TV ?

We stopped screens in the morning for this very reason. DS was waking up for it. Instead we made it pretty boring. It helped after a couple of weeks. But if we let ho. Watch omce it was back to square one.

Mine used to do this and the only thing that worked was my husband going into his room and going "it's too early, daddy's eyes are still small, go back to bed". He only listened to him and would end up howling if I tried it.

Have you tried a Gro clock? We have used it from around 18 months onwards and it's been great. It took ages to get him to understand the concept but even now (he's almost 3) he tends to wait until the sun comes up on the clock. (Not always though, because that would be too easy.)

We also slipped into a later bedtime at around 18 months. We did 7pm for absolutely ages but he just ended up mucking around until at least 8pm, so we are a bit more flexible and start the bedtime routine at 7, aim to get him in bed for 7.30 and if we're lucky he's asleep at around 8pm. It's frustrating because it eats into the time me and my husband would be eating dinner/doing chores/hanging out, but we haven't found a solution yet.

I hope it gets easier for you OP! I remember how long the days were when they started at 4am.

Could it be noise that's waking him? Birds? Heating? Maybe the temperature drops a bit and that disturbs him. My eldest used to wake around the same time, there were birds nesting in the guttering. Once they'd gone he'd still wake out of habit but then we'd treat it like a night time wake up and he'd go back to sleep. I also noticed that it was really cold at that time of the morning in his room so I changed the heating to come on, that seemed to make a difference.

He still gets up at 5.30 as an almost 7 year old, but he sits and does drawing or he'll read. It does get better but I absolutely sympathise with you, early wake ups are would destroying.

Maybe he doesn't like it dark in the mornings?

My youngest woke every day at 5.30 or earlier until he was at least 3 & 1/2. He’s just an early riser. As soon as he’s awake it’s morning and that’s it! It’s got better, it’s more 6am now he’s 5. I feel your pain but have no magic suggestions.

i would try to break the habit of him waking then...first off the clocks will change in a week so he'll be waking at 3.30. you seriously wont be getting up with him then... so see what happens then naturally. if its still an issue then here are some things to try...

make sure the room is pitch black BUT also have a small night light on. this keeps the darkness consistent.

sleep breeds sleep so really try for a day time nap. about 11 is a good time if waking so early. then lunch after. keep bedtime at 7.

the other thing i would do (if the other things dont work) is to set your alarm for 25 mins before he would normally wake and go in an disturb him, dont fully wake him up but rouse his so if disrupts his sleep cycle, if you do this a few days in a row he should reset himself and sleep longer.

good luck
please feel free to pm me for advice im a sleep trainer/advisor.

I'd grit my teeth and try and work in his sleep cycles. He's waking after 9 hours' sleep - which when the clocks go forward in a week means he'll be sleeping from 6.30 - 3.30am. And nobody wants that.

Try to keep him up for another 90 minutes. If he still wakes the first morning, it'll be difficult, you might have him nap during the day though, but it could be what he needs to go that extra hour and a half in the morning.

I'd keep the darkness, though - he's sleeping solidly and light could well mean any sort of stirring results in waking fully in the middle of the night.

Does he want to come out of the sleeping bag? He might be feeling trapped now he's old enough to want to move around. Some kids (me included, to the surprise of my mother, who had successfully swaddled/sleeping bagged/tucked in firmly four others beforehand) can't stand feeling trapped, hot or restricted.

Thanks so so much everyone. Is really touching that people have made an effort to give some advice.

I will have a proper read through and think about what to do.

@memememe the slight rouse thing I have tried in the past but I was doing it I think an hour or so before he was due to wake. So I may try that again. Also I agree about sleep breeds sleep, but when he was taking a decent 1.5 hour nap he would still wake early but I will continue to try with the naps for my own sanity!

Can you put him in a bed rather than a cot
Mines in a floor bed and he can just play in his room when he wakes.
If he cries then I know it's his nappy or he feels rough.
Keep only a small amount of toys out otherwise bedtime will take longer but they get used to it quickley

I always just treated any wake up before 7/7.30 as a night time wake up.

My ds was always an early waker. Nothing I tried changed it and 5.30 was our norm for a long time. I’ll admit to using technology once he was able to use it. A portable DVD player with mr tumble dvd, and then later on a child friendly tablet. So he didn’t wake any later but he could occupy himself for another hour.