To feel like this

[amy85]

Do you ever feel like you've wasted your life....I was so so shy and self conscious when I was younger I didn't live those years to the full....I met my ex when I was 21 and he was my first proper bf....got rid of him 3 years ago....I just seem to Bob through life not achieving anything....I don't really have any proper friends...don't have a proper career (I'm a teaching assistant as it fits round the kids school holidays)...no dating life (to shy and self conscious)...can't even be bothered to take the kids out all that often anymore as it's depressing sitting at the parks alone again while they all go off and play...then when they go to their dads I have 2 and a half days alone doing nothing but Netflix....it's rubbish

OP do you want to change any of those things? I'm thinking you probably do as you're unhappy enough to have listed them?
You don't NEED a 'proper' career. You're doing the best you can with the children's needs in mind.
Dating? Do you want to? Sounds like you need to force yourself out to meet people to make friends and maybe meet someone?

You haven’t wasted your life OP, a) because it’s not over! and b) because you have children - who presumably you love - and you have a job, in which you help other children.

You may not be fulfilling your potential, but you can do something about that.

Might you be depressed, or is it just a bad day? You are obviously feeling lonely too. How was your life pre children?

There’s loads of free things you can do with your DCs, other than the park. How old are they roughly?

My boys are 10 and 8 and my daughter is 3

I have considered whether I'm slightly depressed as I feel like this often

I've always been crap at small talk and making friends it's rubbish

I do really wish things would change

You could go to the dr’s and ask for some counselling perhaps for slight depression and building up your self confidence.

Meanwhile you could take your kids to a children’s session at the library, any free things the council runs, or collect some craft stuff plus boxes etc and challenge them to make something! Sometimes there are free town trails, competitions to enter, sports activities which don’t cost much.

See the GP dir depression. Do not call it mild. You don't want minimise it.

Read up some good self help manuals pm those 2 days alone. Find out what excites you and pursue as best you can (afford to) in the time you have.

Art classes/writing/history/keep fit whatever floats your boat. You may make friends a long the way and you may just find zest for life.

You are alive, you need to feel alive. Find that thing that makes you feel good.