AIBU to have booked concert tickets close to DN birthday?

[Kia123456]

So my DN’s birthday is in a couple of weeks. It falls on a Saturday. She will be 7.
Months ago I booked concert tickets for me, DH and MIL for a band we all love. They were playing on the Friday and Saturday. I booked the Friday to keep the Saturday free in case SIL planned anything for DN’s birthday.

SIL has now decided she is having a family dinner on the Friday night and a soft play party with all DN’s school friends on the Saturday. She was not happy when I told her we couldn’t make it due to having other plans and has accused me of trying to ruin her daughter’s birthday. According to her I shouldn’t have made any plans close to DN’s birthday just in case. I have said we could still do a lunch but this isn’t good enough. MIL now feels torn and doesn’t know what to do. I think she is going to miss the concert but I’m not. I don’t think it’s fair to expect us to keep all dates free around the actual birthday.

So AIBU to still go to the concert and ignore SIL?

Family Sunday lunch is surely the obvious answer in this scenario. Your MIL should offer to host.

Definitely still go to the concert.

I think your SIL is being a bit unreasonable. Presuming the band aren’t on every week and this is a one off I think she could be a bit more understanding. Couldn’t you go for dinner on the Sunday? Or lunch?

I always thought the children's birthdays were more about the children's friends? So the soft play party would be sufficient.

Does your SIL have form for being selfish?

You are keeping the actual day free. Why should you be expected to know that SIL was going to plan something on the Friday night? What if she'd decided to do something on the Sunday lunchtime instead? Or that the whole Saturday would be devoted to your DN, with school party and then a family 'do'?

You can't put all your life on hold for weeks around a birthday in case someone wants to 'do it differently', can you?

Also, if anyone clicks YABU they must be your SIL 😂

Oh dear lord sister in law is nuts! Who keeps their evening social calendar free for a child’s birthday that isn’t your own?! Bonkers. Carry on op and ignore the drama. MIL can do as she pleases but you don’t have to get embroiled.

Yep, it should be the Sunday. For a child so young it's better having the celebration afterwards, not before, if you can.

I think you need to speak to MIL about all suggesting something on the Sunday.

My Grandchildren's family is split, but my DD manages to fit everyone in and it means my GC get three special days

I agree with the PP - what is wrong with Sunday Lunch?

I wouldn't even miss a concert the night before my own dc birthday, fgs!

You can celebrate with your DN another day, that way her birthday lasts longer. No way can your SIL dictate your life like that!

Doubt your niece will even remember.

Your SIL is bonkers and thinks her DC is the centre of the universe. I don't even invite my own family members to DDs birthdays, kids only.

Dinner on a Friday night for a 7 year old? Doesn’t she go to bed? Seems deliberate to me. Sunday lunch is the answer.

Do we have the same SIL Kia? Mine pulls this kind of grandstanding all the time.

I just pretty much ignore her now.

Yeah, good point, @Abouttimemum! Did the announcement of Friday night dinner follow or precede the announcement of the concert visit?

You booked the concert first then she announced the dinner? Who has a dinner for a 7 year old’s birthday? Batshit, ignore her nonsense, you can’t be expected to be psychic, nor should you not book a band you all love who presumably don’t play nightly!

A bit baffled someone has said YABU Surely a soft play party is fine for a 7 year old? Mine would definitely choose that over a family dinner. Will she not move the dinner to the Sunday?

Dinner the night before the softplay party - so party girl is going to be tired and grumpy on her birthday. Nope - this evening dinner was suggested because she KNEW you were going to the concert and decided to be pissy with you.

Agree with everyone else that this seems deliberate. I doubt N will care which night it's on, it's just SIL being a cow.

I must be the worst sister-in-law ever my in-laws aren’t invited to my child’s party nor do we have a separate birthday dinner for any extended family. Birthday dinner is for our family, party is for friends, and if grandparents/extended family want to visit we can do so at a different time

Surely if you’re having a family party, you arrange it around when the family are available rather than picking a date and then bitching when they’re not free?

Was your SIL not aware you had booked it. Presumably you had booked it a while ago so it would be surprising if none of you had mentioned it.

SIL is clearly a controlling arse, who has a Friday night dinner party for a 7 year old? Tell her your not going, she’ll have t rearrange. If your MIL is anything like mine she’ll cancel going to the concert just because she wants to keep the peace, but do not join in with the pandering to ridiculous demands.

I’ve actually booked concert tickets for DH and I for a few weeks’ time, DS has his party the next day and I booked it as late as possible so we could go to the concert. A full weekend for a child’s birthday is way overdue the top!