Neighbour complaining of noise

[SleeperSloth]

I'm staying at an AirBnB for the weekend with my DM and 4yo DD. The neighbour downstairs wasn't about yesterday but returned today.
Tonight at 8.15 my DD was ready for bed and thrilled to be in new pjs so danced a little and asked for a photo for her DF.
After her jumping twice the neighbour from downstairs came to the door to complain about the noise and tell us that she has a child trying to sleep.
I explained I also had an excited 4yo who was on her way to bed.
I feel annoyed with this woman complaining at what is still relatively early, and on a Friday, in the school holidays and no one up for nursery/school tomorrow.
Aibu to be pissed off and a little worried that she might come back again - especially as we weren't making unreasonable noise to warrant this complaint. What would you say if she does comes back?

Have you ever had a child jumping up and down on the ceiling above your head? Because I have, and it's fucking awful.

Instead of getting pissed off, look at it from a less selfish way. Perhaps, whilst it's the start of the weekend for you, and YOU don't have to be up early, she's working from home of an evening (like I have to, when I actually get home from work). Perhaps she's in work tomorrow (like I am) and needs to be up at 5am, and would appreciate a quiet evening to relax for an hour before bed. Perhaps 8pm isn't 'late', but neither will she have lots of time to perhaps relax and enjoy some peace and quiet before bed if she's out to work early tomorrow. Perhaps you've actually woke her child up!

I wouldn't have complained after once incident, mind you. If it was going on on and on for hours like I have to deal with, then yes I would (and have).

I think she is being unreasonable to complain over one incidence, if that's truly what it was. But you are being very unreasonable to just be pissed off she made you aware of it because you don't have to be up early in the morning...

To give you a clue, if she can hear your child jumping and dancing about, she probably hears all manner of footsteps in between, including yours, and any running going on too. It's horrendous.

The kids upstairs make me jump out of my fucking skin when they jump, it's not just a bit of thudding, it's sharp banging and literally shakes the room. Think outside your wee box a bit.

If it’s an Air BNB you haven’t stayed there long enough to really know how easy noise can travel between walls /ceilings.

Also, who knows how much nuisance other Air BNB guests might have caused her already.

I also wouldn’t complain after 1 incident but I suspect it’s not the first time she was bothered by noise from upstairs and she’s fed up with it.

If it's an Airbnb she's probably had to put up with a lot of noise in the past and had no way of knowing that your noise wouldn't go on all night. I expect the poor woman's fed up with it. Jumping up and down in a flat is seriously annoying and it sounds like she was polite - I'd get over it.

She’s not your neighbour - she’s a permanent resident who has to put up with a revolving door of inconsiderate air bnb renters in the flat above, many of whom are making a racket above her property. She’s probably at wits end and this will be one of the reasons that air bnb will be eventually be legalised out of existence. She has my sympathy.

I suspect she's been in a similar situation many times before.

Perhaps in the past she ignored the noise, but it didn't stop. So now she feels the best approach is to strike quickly, to help prevent it carrying on all night.

I bet she is fed up with noise happening every time there is a new tenant.
Maybe she is working tomorrow
Being under a ceiling with someone jumping sounds like a herd of elephants.
Have some consideration

I live in a ground floor flat with a family upstairs but maybe I have better tolerance for noise before 9pm. I just accept that people have to live in houses.
We have stayed in this particular air BnB before so we are aware of the area and property type.
It's not a thin walled new build.
I suppose I'm pissed off because she wasn't polite, and when I explained what was going on she rolled her eyes and gave a dirty look.
I understand that an airBnb upstairs might be tough but we honestly aren't making much noise. My daughter is tiny and slight and only did two wee jumps in an excited dance. She was in bed 10 mins later.

I suppose it's not worth being pissed off though. I think I was because my daughter was so worried about the lady coming up(and we have had alot of sadness recently and I was so pleased to see her happy for a moment)
Thank you for helping me reflect on why it annoyed me so much

Just checked air BnB as noticed a key box for flat downstairs. It's also an air BnB property for those of you who thought that the lady was annoyed as a resident and was maybe fed up with all the different people making noise
I'll try stay out their way this weekend I think

She's probably pissed off because rather than trying to understand, people say things like 'they're only very slight' and 'only did x'.

It doesn't matter that your daughter is tiny and slight. The kids above me include a tiny toddler and one aged around 5-6. They shake my living room with their jumping, and the constant running means there is constant banging with hideous jumps in between that give me a fright, (and my pets for that matter!). The kids are tiny, and when I actually saw them I was genuinely shocked at their size because of the level of noise they make for being so small.

You have no idea whatsoever the level of noise you were making because you didn't hear it from where she was. If you do want to know, ask your daughter to do the same thing while you witness it first hand downstairs - I've no doubt the woman would be more than happy to let you witness. And I strongly suspect you'd be absolutely mortified at how loud it actually is when you heard it. Saying 'we weren't making much noise' is ridiculous if the lady has come to you explaining her child is trying to sleep. It's even more ridiculous when you're basing that on what you hear in the same room as your child. It's entirely different for the people below you who have it above their heads - sound travels very well downwards.

I've no idea why parents let their kids jump about in flats above people - I'm sorry I really don't. And I've even less idea why they don't get it even when someones been round to tell them. Most people do not enjoy going to a neighbour to tell them to get their kids to stop jumping around.

As I've said, I personally wouldn't have complained about a one-off. But try to see it from her shoes - for her it's not a one off.

I'm sorry you've had a hard time lately. Likewise you've no idea what the lady below you may be going through either. She may desperately need a shred of peace.

It's all moot really as you're only there for the weekend anyway. But trying to be considerate of others is a good skill to develop regardless - all we read in the first post was how YOU didn't have to get up for nursery/school tomorrow so you were pissed off. Not one thought outside the box to your neighbour or the child below you trying to sleep. It's lovely your daughter was happy with her PJ's, but when you're in a flat above people it needs to be expressed in a different way than dancing and jumping around.

If your daughter is old enough to be worried about a neighbour coming up again, then surely she is old enough to understand it creates a lot of noise for the lady downstairs and not to do that in the flat anymore. Mind you, it seems you don't even understand.

Op we have a key box on the side of our house too but we are permanent residents. It was installed for my DD. Don't assume because a house has a key box that it's an Airbnb.

@minesagin37
I didn't assume it was an air b and b.i checked in air b and b and it's there

@Allthecheesecake
You are very angry. You make alot of assumptions and judgements in your posts which isn't particularly helpful. The people downstairs are also here as a short stay.
I'm sorry your life is so hard with working first thing until late at night and I am aware that people have busy lives, but having a 4yo make slight noise at 8 pm really is within normal living noise. I get that we need to be considerate of neighbors when living in a flat and I really do teach her that as we also live in a flat at home, but I also think if you choose to live in a flat you have to practice some tolerance.

@Allthecheesecake **we read in the first post was how YOU didn't have to get up for nursery/school tomorrow

Yes but I was saying as it's Friday NO ONE has to get up for nursery or school. Where we are there is no Saturday schools.

Why actually post here, if you literally do not want to hear opinions if they're not agreeing with you?

You posted in AIBU. You got your answers, and not just from myself.

Not even dignifying the rest with an answer. You're posting with an issue because you're pissing people off with lack of consideration. I imagine I'd get a face on me too, if I had to deal with that kind of response. No wonder the woman wasn't very polite.

@allthecheesecake
I was happy to hear opinions and was able to reflect on why I was annoyed by the complaint as stated in my second post. I got that iwbu to be pissed off especially if she had been a resident here. However I still maintain that she was unreasonable to complain in first instance especially as she isn't in fact a resident here.
I just wondered what made you so aggressive in your posts? I'm glad you aren't going to say more though. Hope you have a quiet weekend and don't encounter any bouncy children😂😉

Living next to a Airbnb in a flat is SHIT. You get sensitive to the noise tbh, it’s upsetting when you have such a mixture of folks week in week out nextdoor.

No one needs to build up tolerance in a flat imo, no one should tolerate noise, people need to respect each other in a shared building.

For example, she’s probably pig sick of suitcases getting battered up and down stairs at stupid hours, rowdy stag weekend guys, noisy residents that give no shits, doors being slammed even during the night, including cupboards. Her door or buzzer being knocked in error, or people asking for local advice. People forget on breaks away that others live nearby permanently and get overexcited and louder than usual and it’s really not nice to share a stair with new strangers week in week out.

She was unreasonable at 8.15pm, I totally agree.

But cut her some slack, she’s probably having to deal with unpredictable neighbours each week while she raises a family. She’ll be at the end of her tether

@ProseccoIsTheAnswerHere
I get it must be awful to live beside an air BnB I think I was just surprised at it was still relatively early.
The pp helped me to think about how living beside one might affect peoples attitudes.
However downstairs is also an air BnB property and I believe they are also here on holiday making it a bit less understandable.
We live in a flat at home and really do try to be considerate of neighbors, however we live in a very busy city and I think our experience of neighbors and other people's will vary greatly.

Doesn't mean they don't have to get up early. YABU

School holidays are irrelevant if you aren't a parent or if your kids are grown up, it's about basic consideration for ALL.

99% of parents get unreasonably defensive about anything even slightly negative about their children & don't always appreciate that their behavior, however innocent, might not be a supreme joy to others (squealling, jumping, screaming).

Plus you're the visitor, so you're inflicting noise on a permanent resident without even thinking how this might affect others, kind of selfish really.

Presumably you knew the location of the place when you booked (rural, city, remote cabin/city appartment) and knowing you would be close to other people, you would be reasonably expected to behave accordingly.

Sure you were having fun with your DD, and that's great, but what might be appropriate in your home (jumping around) might not be so appropriate in an Airbnb.

Plus about 15% of the population have misophonia (hatred of sounds) & as we're encouraged to consider children with autism (invisible disability) we should also consider adults with misophonia. For them loud sounds are torture, I know this because I live in a terraced house next door to and extremely loud family (with screaming children) and it's torturous.... I live in noise cancelling headphones.

Before saying "it was only X" perhaps consider the effect on others, maybe the neighbour is a shift worker?..even in a hotel this would be inconsiderate behavior, because if the people in the room below had an early start & were trying to sleep this would disturb them...

You're the tourist, show some consideration, anything less is giving your DD a lesson in entitlement

Personally people are too quick to jump on others and the lady should have let a couple of jumps go.