DD was raised by me as a single parent as her father left me shortly before she was born and didn’t want any relationship. DD has never met him, despite admitting that she did track him down on Facebook as a teenager and attempted to make contact once, which he ignored. She has never had any male role model in her life as I was wrapped up in motherhood and my career, so didn’t enter in to a relationship again until DD was an adult. Other than that I’d say she’s had a happy upbringing and I hadn’t thought the lack of her father in her life had affected her.
She’s 25 now, but I can’t help feeling guilty and concerned that she’s always been interested in dating much older men. It started at 18 when she was at uni and rejected romantic interests from fellow students and instead got into a relationship with a man in his late 40s. Since then she’s exclusively dated the same type of man, aged 40 - 50, very status driven, high powered job, arrogant with lots of money to splash around. I’ve nothing against women being in relationships with older men in general but I’m concerned specifically about her choices as it seems unhealthy. These men don’t want to commit and see her as a bit short term fun and arm candy. DD says she isn’t interested in younger men and doesn’t find them attractive. I fear that DD is desperately seeking the father figure she never had and is stuck in a cycle of unhealthy relationships. AIBU?
I know DD is an adult and I’m very lucky that she feels comfortable to open up to me about her relationships. The last thing I want to do is ruin our relationship, but I really worry. Would I BU to speak to DD about my concerns and suggest counselling?