First time poster long time lurker
SIL1 has 2 DC...one is similar age to DS and birthdays are 6 days apart. All 4 DC get on great. SIL and her DP are lovely.
SIL2 also has 2 DC....less contact for various reasons.
Last year BIL got birthday present for DD (1) and nothing for DS (10) later in the year. DH queried this and was told it was because DS doesn't like them (partly true he's scared of BIL). DH wasn't happy and basically said that we can't make them buy for both kids but we can refuse gifts for DD if won't treat both DC the same.
Then SIL2 last year said she'd posted gift but we never received it and had no form for being unfair to kids so we said nothing. She has done the same thing this year but this time claimed had passed to MIL to give to DS.
There is a long history between us I should mention. Also worth mentioning that while DH has brought DS up he is not his biological father. DS has no contact with biological parent. Both DH and DS view one another as parent/child and have done for many, many years. DS chose to take DH's name. None of DS's or our more recent friends know DH isn't his biological dad. They just never mention it.
DH decided that he didn't want to buy for SIL2 DC because of her. While we understand it's not the children's fault we don't see why DS should receive this treatment either.
Today was SIL2 DC birthday. All hell has let loose.
MIL gone mad at DH for not getting gift claiming different scenario as SIL2 can't always afford gifts. DH said fine if that's the case but don't buy for either.
I know she got for DN when it was his birthday 6 days after DS birthday.
AIBU to think that you either buy for both or neither but not to single one out.
MIL reckons DS only a child so won't even notice and that DH is making his own problems. DH has said related to BIL and SIL2 not accepting DS as his son. MIL says this isn't the case.