School expense!!!

[laylasmummy08]

So my DD has just started secondary school last month. Standard CofE public high school. Obviously before she started we had to buy all uniform, pe kit, separate games kit, coat shoes bag, stationary etc which came to a grand total of around £400!! On top of that we paid locker lease, yes only £9 a term but still.....

Anyway she has been there a total of 6 weeks. In that 6 weeks she has had a trip, £19, lunch money, around £15 a week plus paying for food every week for her food tech class.

Now I know all of the above is necessity but what is really grinding my gears is the following......

All students have to have a tablet at a cost if £270 from the school. This is used the whole 5 years they are there. Fair enough. But I have had 3 letters about trips in the following 2 years. Paris. £450. Italy. £950 and Austria at a grand total of £1450 😵😵 now luckily my daughter understands money. She understands it isnt shit out every morning but AIBU to feel so guilty that I cant send her in these? Maybe one if we really save but the first one is in February so that gives me 3 months! Right after xmas!!

I just feel schools pit so much pressure on parents to send these kids to things making out its educational. Most of her friends are going in them and I feel like a shit mum!! Her dad no way will help out with costs. My partner, her step father, has offered because he is lovely but it will deeply affect our income as I'm on mat leave and we have other children to pay for.

Please just tell me not all kids go on these trips and I'm not being a shitty parent by maybe letting her go on the one in 2021 so it gives me chance to save 😭😭

Of course not all kids go on all trips - they can't take all the kids in the first place! At our school, they apply, and if too many apply, there is a ballot. Some go, and some don't.

I've got one going to Germany next year, and the other has applied for one to Seville. She may or may not get onto it. (If she does, she'd better start working somewhat harder on her Spanish. . .)

So, to sum up, you are not a bad parent. You're quite right, we're just as likely to shit unicorn dust as we are money. . .

Each trip will be open to about 40 kids maximum probably across a few year groups and chances are that a lot of the kids on the first trip will be the same ones on the other trips. Not many parents ( especially with more than one child) can afford costs that level and she will understand. Maybe look at getting her to plan a day out/night away in each of the school holidays that you set the budget so its cheaper, you all benefit and she gets the fin of looking for things to do.

Of course not all children go on these trips, but you need to stop feeling guityl about it. And your DD needs to understand about the costs involved, my DS went on a few (not all) school trips, but he understood that the cost of the trip was instead of a birthday/Christmas present and he had to fund his own spending money. It taught him great budgeting skills and now at uni he has found himself a part time job and budgeted for three trips away plus a holiday with his girlfriend in the next year .

That does seem OTT.

We had the school uniform expenses plus locker rental and "donations" for science and art materials.

I also seem to be having to put quite a lot of money on the lunch money account- especially considering she takes a packed lunch and she's only supposed to buy herself a treat in Fridays! 😂

So far no trips or school holidays have been mentioned. There is no way we could afford all of the trips you have listed. She's also still settling in. I think it's too early to be considering nights away at the moment.

Not everyone goes on the trips, most parents say one trip over the 5 years, possibly 2 (some go on none). Packed lunches are cheaper too. Don't understand the tablet thing - my DD's school have every child a laptop which they gave back when they left

Definitely not all kids will go on all trips. My son has also just started y7 - in my head he will have maybe 2 trips over 5 years (with nights away) - something domestic and one abroad. I have 2 other kids to factor the costs in for as well and will struggle with 6 trips.... Really think about what they will gain from the trip - if it's just a 'jolly' in another country they won't be going. If there is real education merit then we'll discuss it.

As for lunch money - when he saw the account and that I'd loaded £45 onto it which he'd already spent he realised how much he was burning....so we discussed it and the resolution is that he takes pack lunch 4 days, buys a snack on one day and full lunch on another day....so about £5 a week. Packed lunched are cheaper on the other days. (I've also asked him not to buy soft drinks at 99p each as that is just a waste....).

Well there's no denying residential trips are expensive and out of reach for many, however you say:

Maybe one if we really save but the first one is in February so that gives me 3 months! Right after xmas!!

I'm always surprised at parents finding these costs a surprise!
I knew that local primaries offer a residential in p7 and that local high schools offer residentials at a cost of hundreds of pounds long before I ever became a parent. When my DS started primary I started a school fund jar putting in a pound a week so I had the money when the time came. 2 years ago I started a high school saving jar putting in £2 a week so by the time he starts high school there'll be a decent chunk put aside. I'm a single parent on a very tight budget and there's no way I could afford these things without saving well in advance.

£270 for a tablet? Is it gold plated? And locker lease? Wtf

What are the trips for? Is she learning Italian? Or are they just jollies, in which case say no. Not all children will go.

Not all children will go on those trips abroad so don't worry about those. How about making a packed lunch rather than providing lunch money? That will save you a lot of money. The tablet sounds a bargain - I had to pay £400+ to my school for each of my children.

No not everybody goes on all expensive trips, maybe one or two in the whole of their time at school. My sons school has started ‘loose change Monday’ where every Monday you take your loose change in to ‘top up’ the school fund, it’s costing a fortune it all adds up, I've told my son he can’t have any more money for it until after Christmas, why don’t you let your daughter just pick one of the school trips?

Our school does exchange trips relating to the language they learn, so France, Germany or Spain but that's in Y10 and around 50 girls go. I would support it as I find it really useful to hear a language spoken instead of just being it isolated in the classroom.

There may be other trips relating to their chosen GCSE or A-Level subjects, but again costs are told at least a year in advance and it is not mandatory to go. Saying that this year's history class had a blast in Washington DC and the agenda looked amazing, I was jealous.

They school does music trips for the orchestra each Autumn half-term, if you join you are expected to participate as it doesn't make sense of the practice otherwise. But that's being made very clear from the beginning.

They do offer ski trips, 60 places for Y7-11, so you can imagine def not all are going. They alternate between French Alps and Canada! I already told DD that if at all I would agree to one European trip, she never skied in her life, I think it is a good experience but going to Canada is absolutely not necessary if you have good resorts "nearby" being cheaper and easier to go to. And even if you apply there is a ballot if it is over subscribed. Girls being away already are actually then on the second round only as preference have the ones who would go for the first time.

You are not alone. I was horrified at the open evening for our local CofE secondary a huge focus of the heads talk was on the trips they offer. All abroad and hugely expensive.

DS is at another school and going on a GCSE related one next year. We can only afford it due to an inheritance he’s received (we will pay back the money before he’s 18).

But his normal comp don’t do lots of trips and are mindful of parental circumstances. The church school absolutely makes no allowances and pushes them on kids which just pressurised parents. Not very Christian in my view!

The trips are there as options- no one is expecting you to do all of them!

Mintjulia Yes around here it's £25 to lease a locker for a school year. You also have to pay extra if you want more than 1 key. I couldn't believe it when I first found out.

It looks like all our local schools do this through a 3rd party company who must literally be making £millions from the number of schools listed on their website.

OP not all kids do all trips. Some kids do no trips.
On any given trip day most of the year will not be on the trip. Don't feel guilty.
The school trips at expensive because they cover staff costs but also additional staff trips to risk Assessment/check facilities etc.
Probably still cheaper than taking your whole family on holiday if it's something that your child will love and/ or benefit from.
It is definitely not like primary where they do a team building holiday and everyone is expected to go.

I can honestly the most expensive part about having kids is when they actually start school! It's school that bump the cost up with all these extra expenses! I work in a Travel Agent and I could get all those trips for half that price!! The cost is probably covering all the teachers expenses too to go!! See if your child would prefer maybe a day out with you for alot cheaper! Then at least you will actually see the memories!

Yes I agree with pp. Most kids will not do all those trips. In all honesty, I could have afforded all the trips for my 2 but I didn't. I paid for the trip to France OR Germany in years 7 or 8 and the trip to London in year 10 because it included going to see a play which they were studying for GCSE.

DD has just started secondary school last month. Standard CofE public high school.

Can you clarify. Is this a public school or a state school?

I have never known a state school where it is compulsory to but a £270 tablet!

Where is it?

What a bloody rip off. Why does she have to pay for a locker? The laptop will be out of date in five years, if it hasn’t conked out.
If you can’t afford it just say no.
Imagine if you had a couple of kids there ridiculous.

I told my kids I can not afford school trips every year as well as a family holiday that they have to wait to they are 16.
So my eldest is now 16 and we are paying in instalments for a trip next year. Hopefully she passes GCSE or she won't be at the school to go.

All students have to have a tablet at a cost if £270 from the school.

No they don't. Parents need to resist this kind of thing. There's a huge amount of corruption behind these programmes that try to force school pupils to use specific devices at inflated prices (see past issues of Private Eye). I know it's difficult to stand against it on your own, but it's really important for parents to stand together and say no. The school is not entitled to structure its curriculum in a way that makes possession of a particular brand of tablet a requirement. The fact that Apple (for example) is providing inducements to schools to do it is not an excuse: head teachers/giverenors who can't stand up to that kind of marketing should not be in positions where they are responsible for public funds.

Sorry. It's a particular bugbear of mine, having had to stand against my own kids' school (which did feature in Private Eye) trying to force us to buy overpriced iPads when we already had perfectly functional non-Apple tablets.

I know what you mean. But only some students will go on these trips. My dcs sometimes give the impression that it's everyone or most of their friends but it's really not. My dcs know that they won't be going on all trips. This weekend I looked at what we had paid on parentpay for 3 dcs at school. If I subtracted the cost of meals it came to over £500 in one year for 3 dcs. This was without trips abroad or D of E. Currently there is a whole lot of new things in my account, mainly text books, revision guides and revision packs for each subject. If feels like the cost of education is being passed more and more onto the parent. Students shouldn't have to rely on parents being able to afford text books at GCSE!!! But schools really seem to need us to. Then add on the constant fund raising events for school funding. I sympathise with schools but it really adds up!

Househunt1 you don’t honestly think teachers should be expected to pay out of their own pocket to take other people’s children away?? They are already giving up their own free time and not being paid for it.

I sometimes think schools are using parents to make money. It starts with the insistence on ludicrously expensive (and often poor quality) "branded" uniform that can only be obtained from one company, locker leasing etc, but insisting that children "must" have a £270 tablet is just taking the piss.

Have they not heard how hard up the average family is? And a lot of families are much worse off than that.