To find this really annoying about FB.

[Cam77]

I sometimes use an alternative to FB for work reasons and it makes me realize two FB features that drive me up the wall.

Firstly, I hate the fact that when you comment on a public thread your friends get notifications that you’ve posted. I comment on a public post about pig farming and my family and friends get a notification and go and have snooo. I comment under a post about window cleaning and they get a notification and go and have a snoop. I post something about astronomy, dishwashers, earthworms, lunchboxes and they get a notification and can go and snoop on my comment. There’s no anonymity, you can’t change your name. It’s ridiculous and means I don’t comment on anything.

Second, I hate the fact that everyone can see how many “Likes” you get. On the FB alternative I sometimes use for work, WeChat, you only see how many “Likes” someone gets from people you are also friends with (ie mutual friends). Only the poster gets to see how many total Likes they received for a post. Why is this IMO an infinitely better system? Because it allows far greater freedom of posting without worrying if you’re post will meet “group approval” through the archaic system of publically visible likes . If we’re honest, many of are often discouraged from posting, particularly on niche or slightly contentious issues, because we think it won’t get any “group approval” (ie Likes, which are basically FB psychological reward system). You post a heartfelt comment about something in society or politics or whatever and you get 2 Likes. You feel a bit of a dork. So FB is basically dominated by pictures of babies, holiday pics, and adverts (or mine is) because that’s all most people feel up to posting, knowing that they’ll at least get throw a dozen likes. Anyway, it’s bugged me for a while, thought I’d see if anyone else agrees.

Until recently, I've not really understood criticism of social media. I've never used Facebook though.

However, things seem to be coming to a point where people- friends included - are so concerned about how a post will go down on social media, I'm beginning to see why it can be a problem. I'd just come off Facebook tbh.

"psychological reward system"

I get it, I understand about the dopamine etc. But if you feel strongly about it, maybe it's time to step away.

I agree with you about the psychology of ‘likes’- that interests me too. I read, or heard recently that you get a ‘dopamine hit’ every time someone likes your post! There are certainly some types of posts that get far more attention than others (assuming ‘likes’=attention) and maybe that does shape the nature of the site. I suppose though that generally you’re posting for a limited audience of family and friends so it depends what’s most likely to interest those people.

Not sure about the likes but people getting notifications when you comment on stuff is really annoying, I also dont comment on stuff because of that. Not that I have anything to hide but meh

I've recently had to become familiar with Weibo for work. Now that is fuckiing terrifying. You know the Black Mirror episode in which Bryce Dallas' life rapidly went to shit because her likes on social media were dropping? That's basically Weibo, and it's state sanctioned by the Chinese government (of course.... no one is surprised by this!). You can mark someone down for anti social behaviour. All purchases and travel go through the app. Basically the government is using a nice friendly social media app to monitor your movement and encourage fellow citizens to judge you and control your behaviour.
So I'm just waiting for Facebook, and Insta, and all the other apps we use in more 'free' countries to go the same way. I bet they're salivating at the potential.

YANBU. I've just had to block MIL because she kept popping up on things I'd commented on

I try to stay on closed groups now.

Agree, I never comment on Facebook, even when I would like to or think I have something interesting to say as I hate the idea of writing something public and others knowing. I think it is a form of shyness. I have no issue here as it is anonymous but don’t want the world to know even innocuous things about me.

@ImaginaryCat I haven't heard of that , sounds very controlling.
At least our social media isn't that bad .
I did enjoy that episode of Black mirror .
Op I don't post on Facebook for the same reason as you .

"I think it is a form of shyness. I have no issue here as it is anonymous but don’t want the world to know even innocuous things about me."

I understand that. I don't think it's shyness, more that with the likes etc, it seems like "why do all these people need to see what's in my head".

I never comment on anything for that reason. Stupid app.

I have a Facebook account with a fake name so I can post on all my favourite groups/post without snoopers.

I think the answer is to not post anything you wouldn’t want other people to see.

I read, or heard recently that you get a ‘dopamine hit’ every time someone likes your post!

It’s actually worse than that, you get a dopamine hit just checking to see if you’ve got any likes/comments, regardless if you have or not. This is the same mechanism that keeps people addicted to gambling - they get a dopamine hit every time they pull the slot machine handle.

It’s all carefully engineered to keep you checking as often as possible and scrolling as long as possible. You know when sometimes you load up Instagram and an interesting new post will show up at the top for a few seconds, only to disappear under a barrage of less interesting new posts so you end up scrolling down for ages to find the original post? That’s deliberate. Some Silicon Valley dickhead in a t shirt and jeans thought that up so you’d spend longer using it. It’s all so manipulative and unhealthy.

@Paperflowers
That’s interesting and frightening. Yes it’s all deliberate. I read somewhere recently that the average British teenager spends something like 2–4 hours a day (depending on age) on social media. Just on social media. Frightening!

I’m not sure it’s just teenagers either!

@ImaginaryCat
Yes, with WeChat and also Weibo, China is much further down the route to a cashless society than we are. The vast majority of young people I know in China think it’s great, but I’m always thinking “No, don’t do it!”. Not being able to purchase something totally anonymously, with no record, with good old cash is a pretty disturbing thought for me.

@AutumnRose1
I’ll go on using it for basic keeping in touch stuff and uploading holiday pics. But given it’s such an influential internet giant, I do think it’s such a lazy, substandard site in many ways. Rather than develop it into something essential and with the times (see, for all its faults, WeChat) they just seem to have gone the route of buying up all competitors to stave off completion and expand their product range.

I've not heard of WeChat but I think there's an issue with all of them in terms of their design, plus I don't know why people want to put things like holiday pics out there, but that's just me. I'm big on privacy.

The scrolling thing is very offputting for me but I have heard people get addicted to it.