AIBU to feel overwhelmed?

[user1471462209]

I think it's jus because I've been poorly (cold/flu) this week but feel like I'm really struggling with the demands of life!!

My 4yo has just started school, also have a 2yo. Work have been fantastic and allowed flexibility so I can pick her up everyday at 3.30 but school is a decent commute away and work even further so feel like I'm spending a lot of time in the car.

Animals! I've got 2 dogs and 2 horses, I've tried to sell the horses over the summer but they won't pass a vet. I do have help with them but still feels like a drain on time and finances when I don't actually have time to even ride!

My work has changed recently so it's all very new which is making me feel a bit stressed / unsettled (1 work 3 days but stretched over 4 shorter days, professional career).

DH tries to help but his job is very demanding and he's often away or even when he's here he seems preoccupied with work. TBH he just ends up pissing me off because he never seems to do what I want / expect of him.

I just feel like I'm constantly running round like a headless chicken. I do have support from my parents in particular but feel like at the end of the day, everything comes down to mum, I'm just bloody knackered and stressed all the time and feel like I'm being a bitch to everyone.

I guess less of an AIBU but does anyone have any tips on how to manage life better and not get as stressed?

That's life.. some people do it single handed too.
Count your blessings.

Fucking hell @monty27 don’t go overboard on the empathy will you?

Op, having 2 small children and working is hard, adding animals into the mix as well sounds awful to me! Are you saying you have to keep the horses? Are either of them loanable?

I’ve currently got a cold and everything feels very overwhelming as when I’m well I feel like I’m just about keeping on top of everything.
The only thing I’ve really found to be helpful is to plan in advance as much as possible and have regular weekends where we have no plans so that I can rest. I’ve also recently got a cleaner so that’s one less job to have to do at weekends as I’m too knackered in the week.

Monty27...your tone is dismissive of op. She is probably well aware its life but she has reached a bit of a tipping point. Your comment isnt helpful

OP, you eed practical help and you will have to put your hand in your pocket. Cleaner for a start.
Bit more childcare hours.
DH needs his head out of his arse. His job.maybe super important etc but he should be contributing to the home on a meaningful form.
You r human and can only do so much but no one will know unless you say something.
Ignore the count your blessings types. You are blessed but this will kill any joy u take out of it.

For the moment I need to keep them. I want to get down to 1 really. I'm going to get a full assessment done on then at the vet to understand where I am with them. (They both failed vet on a very slight lameness).

@38Mrscog just speaking from the experience of many parents. You just do it when you have to pay the bills and hold a job down.
I'm not saying it's easy. It's rewarding though

I could have written your post this time last year (minus the horses) unfortunately it contributed to the end of my relationship as the resentment towards dp got too much along with other issues.

I had a senior management role although on a pittance (less than 19k) where I worked a 44 hour week contracted and then overtime when required, 1 Dd full time and Dsd and dss 50-75% of time as well as fil to attend to, shop for, clean house, washing etc. It was hell on earth and when exdp had days off (shift 3 on 3off) he would bitch and moan about not having time to himself and being expected to runaround after his father or the kids.

There is no easy answer I'm afraid.

Your options are pay for afterachool care for the kids so you can do your hours over 3 days and that would give you 4 days a week for everything else which can then be split into jobs for you and ones for dh...

I found having a schedule calendar thing on our phones the most use, out everything on and assign it to a parent

Meal planning helped too as whoever was back first started tea or it was in the slow cooker ready and then I was either just plating up or throwing some rice or pasta on so it was much faster and freed up time.

Good luck!

Thanks @Silentlysinking101, I honestly think DH does try his best but he ALWAYS seems to be tired / stressed as well! And always has some kind of work commitment when I want him to do stuff. Well not always, but often.

I am wondering if stretching my hours has made it seem worse. I had it in my head that DD was going to struggle to settle at school so I didn't want her to do after school club. She's actually done fantastically so I might think about going back to my old hours.. maybe after Christmas.

I'm not the most naturally organised person but I think it would help to be more organised. I'll try and force it into DH as well as he tends to procrastinate which I find annoying (I'll tidy the kitchen later etc. etc.).

Get some great music or podcasts for the car so the driving feels like less of a chore. Focus on selling the horses to save a lot of time and money.
Agree with pp who said get some after school care so you can go back to 3 days a week and 4 full days off.

Agree with podcasts in the car. You get some 'me,' time whilst commuting. There are some great ones about being more focused and organized. Or YouTube videos
Get a cleaner.
Wraparound care for DD
These early years are so hard but it's good to keep your career going.

Buy a diffuser get some pure lavender essential oil or fennel, frankincense they must be pure. Always works for me. After a busy day with my Gc I put my diffuser on. Not the cheap air wick they do not do it. Get a proper one.