So, my DD1 is 15 and in her G.C.S.E. year. Her boyfriend is also in the same year at school. They have been together for 3 months now, but very good and close friends for the last year.
DD is very sensible. She doesn't believe in having sex at her age. Furthermore, she thinks unprotected sex is madness for anyone not planning a child. Her boyfriend seems to respect her a great deal also, and has shown no interest in trying to touch her inappropriately so far. He doesn't seem like the kind of boy to put pressure on her physically about doing stuff she doesn't want to do. All the signs seem positive right now for them both enjoying a happy, healthy, non sexual but romantic relationship for the near future at least.
However, at his house, his parents allow him to take her into his room, where they lie on the bed together cuddling. Cuddling is all very well and lovely, but I am concerned about what might happen in the near future and how this might progress into more than that.
Currently, I have told my girl that before she goes to her bf house again, I'd like to have a chat with his mum about this. I was thinking along the lines of general chattiness with a sort of a "by the way" interlude, where I suggested to her that if they went up to his room, they kept the door open. All very low key.
My DD and her BF are horrified about this though. They say that this will embarrass them so much and they don't want their parents to have this conversation as an opening gambit. It was never going to be an opening gambit, more a caveat, but the kids are adamant that this will be embarrassing for them both.
I don't want to embarrass either of them, but I feel that they need to respect our opinion about this.
My DD is very naive. She has no concept of the seductive power of sex and exploration can have over an individual. She has no concept of how overwhelming desire can be. She has no idea of what it means yet to get carried away in the moment. She has no idea of how men (boys) can talk themselves into a woman's pants. She has no clue.
She laughs at me and says, "Don't be silly - I won't have sex or get pregnant", then tells me how she is 100 percent against abortion, so that if she did, she'd have the baby and get help from us to raise it.
She's very immature in some ways. I don't want her going to her bf house until I have at least spoken to the family and expressed my concerns. In the meantime, he can come here where they will be supervised.
AIBU in trying to control things too much???