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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that teachers need to teach stuff and not me.

317 replies

caroline161 · 17/10/2019 21:52

DS has just started at Grammar school. Ridiculous amount and type of homework. For example: Learn about Archimedes principle, explain what you have found. AIBU to email the school and say, " I would appreciate it if you could teach him this instead of me and what the f are you doing all day which means that I have to teach him Archimedes principle"

OP posts:
TheLittleDogLaughed · 20/10/2019 11:25

Flatwhite32 I found it almost impossible to communicate with dd’s secondary school teachers - understandably, they were all vastly over-worked. And in my dd’s case there was so much homework that it wasn’t possible to do that.

CecilyP · 20/10/2019 12:02

Sorry, Lola, your latest post still suggests that you don’t see what OP is joking about. Admittedly not hilariously funny, but the joke is the suggested response to the school, not how OP is feeling about the homework.

FelicisNox · 20/10/2019 12:08

As you've notice by now you've been flayed and patronised to death whilst posters have simultaneously completely and deliberately missed the point.

I get you.

This is rife once secondary school hits and whilst it would be lovely to sit at the dinner table every evening to help little timmy with his homework.. this is the real world and when you have half a dozen kids, a full time job possibly with very unsociable hours, a house to keep, dinner to do, washing to wash, after school activities and christ knows what else, we could all be forgiven for wondering why WE are expected to teach our kids; this is a new concept BTW because our parents and grandparents only learned at school and managed fine.

Part of the issue is not having enough hours in the day to pass the curriculum and part of the problem is kids used to mobile phone entertainment that can't sit still or be quiet for any length of time making teaching impossible.

It's not all the schools fault but I understand your frustration.

CecilyP · 20/10/2019 12:10

Go to the science museum in Birmingham look in the gardens there

Great idea for a half hour homework if OP lives nowhere near Birmingham. I’m sure OP now has enough realistic suggestions and child friendly links to enable her to help her DS to do this homework. Lucky she’s a mumsnetters!

Flatwhite32 · 20/10/2019 12:47

@TheLittleDogLaughed that's such a shame Sad. You're right in that teachers are overworked, but it's sad it has got to a point where many can't communicate with parents. Really sorry to hear that was the case with your DD's teachers. Sad

TheLittleDogLaughed · 20/10/2019 14:04

Flatwhite32 a real shock after primary school! As I said further up thread, dd was insanely overloaded with homework, it was ridiculous. Anyway I learned a lot about earthquakes and chemistry for a while Grin

LolaSmiles · 20/10/2019 14:04

This is rife once secondary school hits and whilst it would be lovely to sit at the dinner table every evening to help little timmy with his homework.. this is the real world and when you have half a dozen kids, a full time job possibly with very unsociable hours, a house to keep, dinner to do, washing to wash, after school activities and christ knows what else, we could all be forgiven for wondering why WE are expected to teach our kids; this is a new concept BTW because our parents and grandparents only learned at school and managed fine

And yet more weird confusion that child doing research homework somehow means parents have to teach their child.

I'm starting to wonder how we all managed as kids with our extra curriculars and homework and not having parents fuming over everything.

I'm starting to think this is a culture shift too. When I had homework, it was MY job to organise my homework, MY job to do the research, MY job to make sure I had my bag packed, MY job to make sure I was organised. Learning was challenging and it was expected that even as top set kids we would find things challenging and would problem solve etc. If I wanted to do my extra curricular then it was expected that I was organised and made a plan, not that I'd do what I wanted and then home would write a note saying "Lola didn't do the homework she had a week to do because we were busy". If we were stuck on homework, it was MY responsibility to see my teachers and ask for help. It was also MY job to revise for exams and prepare for assessments and MY job to revise appropriately for GCSE exams and so on later etc.

Now there's an increasing number of people who think the job of schools to spoon feed, break everything down so it's all bite sized and easy, nothing should be too challenging (because that leaves the student feeling fragile and stupid because being clever means things are easy), it's the school's job to coach through every last thing in class leaving little room for independence. Parents are increasingly taking on responsibility for organising homework, working out when their child will do homework (complete with regular letters in if they don't like the time frame / reasons their child couldn't possibly manage X Y Z ). Schools are increasingly expected to put intervention in place, which is fine for those who genuinely have found something difficult but at least 50% of the time the lower marks are due to not bothering to revise when told to. Even at A Level, I've seen students not work on coursework independently and had parents sit down with their child and half write their child's coursework. There's an increasing culture in some families where actually learning and experiencing academic challenge is somehow a threat and something to be avoided, or more accurately the academic outcomes are wanted but they should be made as easy as possible.

My parents were really supportive of my education and I'd have been mortified if they'd contemplated calling the school because my teacher set some research homework.

RainMinusBow · 20/10/2019 14:14

I'm a teacher (SEN specialism within mainstream) and have two boys of my own, became a separated parent when boys were just 3 and 6. Financially we are not well off.

Eldest is now 12 and was selected to be in his secondary as he took a DT and music exam and came out top 5% in both. Two years running he is on the Honours Programme as top 10 in his year group. Proud mum big time.

I would say time and again that the children who do best tend to be the ones whose parents see education as a partnership with the school and play an active part in their child's education.

My ex SIL once came to be bemused as to why her daughter was struggling to read. She said she was even more confused as she sends her daughter to a private school(!) I asked ex SIL how often she read to/with daughter and the reply was one of surprise and the response "That's not up to me-I pay for her to go to private school"!!!

LolaSmiles · 20/10/2019 14:32

rain
We've seen that attitude in our comprehensive sadly. It's a minority thankfully.

You're right about the partnership and part of that is knowing when to step back, when to have a chat etc. At the start of y7, I had loads of chats with parents of my tutees who found transition hard. We talked about all sorts from recapping the open evening event information on the homework system, to them asking how much to micro manage and keep on at their DC Vs how much to let them learn from their mistakes. The partnership really pays off throughout school.
It's much more difficult building a strong friendly partnership if you've got people weighing in on what they think is /isn't appropriate homework, telling staff they should do homework differently, their DC shouldn't have to do... Generally being arsey and so on.

masterchef98 · 20/10/2019 20:12

It's his homework not yours. I hate when my 11 yr old gets research homework as he does require help with it but it's about teaching him what to type in to get a meaningful answer and how to present it clearly and concisely. The time i really kicked off was one day just before christmas when he brought home loads of homework and it turned out they had watched a film at school! I have no problem with them watching a film, especially as it was loosely related to a topic they were studying but if there was work to be done they should have done that instead. I would much rather watch a film at home than do homework!

LolaSmiles · 20/10/2019 20:31

masterchef98
The research skills are often taught in basic forms in primary. Equally in lessons students often work with extracts or print outs or sources and collate information. Independent research is using those skills.

Equally, writing fact files and summaries are entirely standard pieces of primary work. Sometimes I think students think that unless someone has stood over then and said "now you need to type X, then make 5 bullet points..." That they've not been taught the required skills.

On the film front, you have a valid challenge, unless the film was educational and purposeful. Much as I can't stand the doss lesson films, there are some very valid uses of film. I'll never forget a parent aggressively ranting at me on the phone for "wasting their child's time watching movies all week". The reality was we had finished the GCSE set text (a play) so we were watching an adaptation in sections and discussing key themes, looking at how the text was adapted on stage etc. We'd also been watching different adaptations of specific scenes to consider moving texts from script to stage over the half term.

Apparently parent wanted a meeting with me and the head to find out why I felt it was appropriate to watch films all the time instead of teaching. Their child actually came into school and found me to apologise because they were so embarrassed by their parent's behaviour.

masterchef98 · 20/10/2019 21:26

Lola smiles. We are abroad, I dont know that they are taught too much about research skills and it is all in our second language for an additional problem. Actually last week he was doing research in his 3rd language! As op said maybe my son just hasn't taken these things on board.

I dont have any problem with him watching films, but in my example, he is still at primary, it was something like watching Aladdin when they'd been learning about Egyptians (still on board so far) but then he got 2 hours of homework.

LolaSmiles · 20/10/2019 21:36

Gosh that's quite a challenge MasterChef. I don't envy you. Your DC must be quite talented. Smile

I see. It was that sort of film watching. 🙄Teachers do themselves no favours with that sort of thing (and a personal gripe is students then arrive to my lessons saying "but sir let us watch..." 😒

BelleSausage · 20/10/2019 21:40

Two points:

  • homework is often a useful flag for children who don’t understand the curriculum. I find it helpful when students say they can complete homework because it lets me know what they need to go over again in class. Or what needs a detailed explanation.
  • we are trying to train them to get used to being self motivated and self directed. Spoon feeding pupils facts became a massive issue in education under the old GCSE. The new one requires such a depth of knowledge that it would be impossible to direct teach them everything. It was designed that way on purpose. To force us to find ways to make kids more independent (they still all find a way to write the same bloody thing about An Inspector Calls and the blasted Titanic.).
Banj0girl · 20/10/2019 23:45

I am involved in museum education for schools. If during a session I get a question I can't answer / not in my remit, I usually say
" something for your research then ".
We should not be spending time spoon feeding. Although I do agree that understanding concepts is different from looking up information.
In my last year primary I had to produce a project about Greece. Needless to say no net. I went to the library and travel agents.

Banj0girl · 20/10/2019 23:47

As to Archimedes, have you got a bath ?

StanleySteamer · 27/10/2019 19:51

@Lolasmiles, remember me? I have been offline for about a week and come back to discover this bloody stupid thread is STILL running! Cannot believe it! You have all my sympathy and I take my hat off to you for persevering with this!
As retired teacher to existing teacher, I KNOW how you feel and have been there numerous times.
I will not be offering OP any more advice on this, he/she should have got it by now!

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