What is your morning routine, daily activity level and evening routine?

[verytiredallthetime]

Routine as in typical days, I know lots of people will have varied schedules. I have chronic pain and fatigue and am really frustrated (by lots of things!) at the moment. I'm struggling to get a sense for what is a 'normal' amount of energy to have if that makes sense? Worried that I keep shrinking and accepting and normalising extremely low energy - when maybe I need to be arguing with doctors that this isn't right.

I've just taken a shower and frustrated and pissed off that it's made me feel sick and woozy because showering makes my blood pressure go very low. I try to work round this by not showering early morning when it's worse, but even still, here I am feeling sick and like my limbs are made of lead.

Anyway! I'm interested in knowing what people's routines are like, and how tired you are or aren't?

How crap do you feel on waking? When does your head feel clear and alert? Do you feel like you have to 'spend' much energy on doing normal everyday things like making the breakfasts and doing dishes, or on personal care like hair washing and (if you wear it) doing makeup?

I feel like every tiny task depletes me more than 'normal'.

How many useable hours do you reckon you have per day before your brain shuts down?

Lots of questions, but keen to get a sense of a broad range of healthy and normal and see the reality of how close or far I am to it.

Have you looked up the spoons theory of energy?

I have a 3 month old baby so I’m permanently knackered so no help to you here.

Congrats on your baby!

Yes, I know spoon theory, I generally like it as a broad explanation but can't really relate to it. My spoons seem to disappear suddenly all at once sometimes.

I felt exactly like that before being diagnosed with an under active thyroid (cliché) and with a crippling vitamin D deficiency (great achievement considering I was living in Sydney for 6 years at the time!)

I had a very demanding job with loads of client socialising and had come to gradually believe I was lazy and had motivation issues.

I woke up tired and just got worse with every passing hour.

Once both problems were corrected and I started to exercise, I felt completely different.

Now, 7 years and two children later (one with ASD who sleeps three hours a night) I still feel more energetic than back then. Truly dark times for me.

Hope you identify your problem, OP. I have a lot of sympathy.

Thank you. I haven't left the sofa or bed for nearly two days. My brain is blank. I got upset earlier because I couldn't remember what several words meant, and I know I used to know if you see what I mean.

Starting to worry sightly there is something wrong with my brain that is serious and has been missed.

Very tired - I have a chronic illness and understand how you feel. On good days I can do 'normal' stuff like go to work, clean cook etc, but on bad days it is all I can do to get out of bed to go to the loo!

Would it be possible to get a seat for the shower? Are there other tools/things that might help?

Sorry I don't have any great ideas, just want to sympathise and let you know you are not alone.

Very tired - I have a chronic illness and understand how you feel. On good days I can do 'normal' stuff like go to work, clean cook etc, but on bad days it is all I can do to get out of bed to go to the loo!

Would it be possible to get a seat for the shower? Are there other tools/things that might help?

Have you had your cortisol tested. Look up adrenal insufficiency - the few thing you mention do seem to fit. I have Addisons and felt just like you before treatment.

Sorry I don't have any great ideas, just want to sympathise and let you know you are not alone.

Ok, I can give you an idea of my day as an average 41 year old:

Get up at 6am
Gym between 6.30-7.45
Shower and get to work for 8.45
Home for 6pm
Do dinner/washing/tidying
Read before bed at 11.30

When DH is around (shift work) we share the evening jobs but this is a typical day dor me. I rarely feel tired and class myself as fit and healthy although i do have Crohns (not flaring up at the moment though)

I don't want this to sound smug, I just want you to know what 'normal' is like so you can plan how to get as near as that as you think possible IYSWIM.

I feel pretty exhausted by the end of the day. And often have to force myself to get up. But have broken nights as have 12 year old with SN and sleep issues and therefore I am kept awake or woken up at night which doesn't help. And on my own with kids.

I just want you to know what 'normal' is like

I wouldn't agree that 6ish hours of sleep a night is 'normal'! Or maybe just me and everyone I know is quite lazy You sound well above average in terms of energy to me, although I do have one friend who only sleeps 5 hours a night at most.

I would say on average I feel fine when I wake up at 6.30am, sometimes groggy and wanting more sleep if the baby has been up during the night. Even then, by the time I've had my shower and make a coffee I feel basically fine. Most days I work 8-9 hours and on busy days it might be 10 or 11. Pick up DS, make dinner, play, bedtime routine for DS, tidy up and either me or DH will take turns going out (gym or catch up with friends), and I'll be in bed sleeping by 10 or 10.30pm. This feels very normal and manageable.

It's half term this week so I'm being a rebel and I'm still up!

I'm a very overweight asthmatic 45 year old with 2 SN kids.

Typical day

630am kids wake me up
630am-830 breakfast, bit of housework, getting kids and I ready. Husband leaves for work at 730am
830-9 school run
9-930 cycle to work
230pm -3pm cycle back to get them from school
3-5pm park, shopping or after school activities etc or sometimes if we're all tired back home for a sit down while kids watch telly
5pm - 630pm cook and eat dinner, wash up, help kids with stuff
630pm husband comes home, and sometimes if I'm knackered i go have a half hour lie down
7pm - 8pm kids bedtime routines
8pm -11pm ish spend time with husband, few chores, bit of telly, bit of nookie, lots of chat.
11pm ish bed

I have chronic illness too. It got so bad I was retired from work in my 30s, I now use a mobility scooter. Can manage most days to get kids to school but then I'm done for the day. Showering, dressing, even making cups of tea and toast is to much somedays. So totally understand where you're coming from - I've spent years normalising my ever decreasing energy levels till I realised not being able to do basic self care is not normal. It's hard to get through each day without getting frustrated at how exhausted I am. My brain won't function like it used to I struggle to watch TV, read or just follow conversations. I spend most of each day in bed. I absolutely hate the way my body and mind nolonger function at a speed normal for my age. I hate the fact my peers take things for granted like popping to the shop, collecting the children from school, washing their hair before they go out! I'm no help to you but just so you know your not the only one that worries their loosing their marbles and can't get off the sofa for several days.

I've just started a graded exercise programme to help manage a chronic illness.

I went from being extremely busy all the time, to slowly but surely doing very little. I have various things tested, so please do that. My vit D and iron were low, and my thyroid underactive. With all that corrected I still had no energy. I tried being kind to myself and resting in the hope that eventually I'd start to feel better. No luck.

Now I have a diagnosis and a strategy to manage it. I had to dial right back to doing very little, then increase a tiny amount at a time.

Currently I do 2000 steps a day.
I cook the evening meal.
I do part time office work.
I have a graded exercise plan I am following. Hopefully in time I will no longer feel like I ran a marathon yesterday, and can get back to a more normal life.

I have about sixteen usable hours of energy a day. Getting myself showered and dressed etc takes about 15-20 minutes. I then have to get a toddler to nursery, which is about a twenty minute walk up a few hills. Work an eight hour day, pick the toddler up again, put toddler to bed, do about 1-2 hours housework. I’m pregnant so some days very tired but before that didn’t feel physically tired by this routine. Your energy levels sound unusually low. Are you eating well? Would some really light exercise to get your body going again be possible?

I also have chronic illness- fibromyalgia. My dad goes something like this:

7-8 up with kids having breakfast
8-9 slow walk to school and back
9-10 shower at home and plan for day
10.30-12 Usually have a class e.g. aqua aerobics or yoga at sports centre nearby
12-2.30 lunch and rest
2.30-4 slow walk to school and home
4-5 rest and cuppa
5-7 prepare dinner and mashup
7-9 homework, DH does supper and kids to bed
9-10 bath and read / rest, sleep

As you see I try and mix some activity and rest.

I tend to feel worse on days I stay home but less tired if I do something. But the rain recent has been tiresome. It helps having things locally.

Oh also i tend to do housework like cleaning, cooking on days I have more energy and others just the minimum. I use the organised mum method of doing a task each day which is a good plan as not so overwhelming. We do eat quite a bit of ready made food although i put lots of veggies with it.

Op I think most people who don't either have young children or a significant illness/disability wouldn't find day to day tasks tiring, or that their brain would shut down by a certain point - that would be reserved for a very stressful day.

I have some fluctuations which has made me think about energy levels - I felt like I was struggling for motivation over the last year or so - getting 8hrs sleep a night but still feeling tired, and managing work ok but not feeling up to doing anything energetic, like gym. Tbh I thought it was just aging. I then got diagnosed with a respiratory issue and was amazed that after treatment my motivation for gym came back - turns out it wasn't really motivation but low level tiredness.
One of my PMT symptoms is feeling very tired one or two days a month - on those days I can feel the tiredness in my limbs, and I just want to lie down (but weirdly, not neccessarily sleep)

The rest of the time I can work full time, exercise a couple of times a week and do reasonably active tasks (carrying shopping, DIY etc). I might say that I'm tired, but that's more likely to be feeling stressed (eg from work, or because of the size of my to do list) than the sort of tiredness that you refer to. The tiny glimpses I've had into other 'types' of tiredness has made me realise how lucky I am. Im sorry you have to deal with this, I would say your energy levels are far from a typical healthy adult.

I'm a Mum to toddler twins so I've been pretty much exhausted since they were born, but before having children I've always found myself on the lower side of energy levels. No obvious medical reason for it, but I find I had (sometimes still have) about 5 hours of really good energy to get shit done and then it tapers off.

Routine is like this most days:

7am - Alarm wakes me up - no matter how much or little sleep I have I generally feel like I'm waking up in a complete mind fog with a headache. I have one or two coffees to try and get me going (sometimes I can't have any coffee as I have noticed my anxiety attacks are likely to strike when I'm close to my period and add caffeine into the mix).

7.30am Prep and start cooking breakfast for the twins (I can't eat until at least mid-morning as it makes me feel really sick for some reason).

8am Twins wake up - nappy changes and then bring them downstairs for breakfast and free-play in the living room.

10-11am Get us all ready and head out for a bit, depending on my energy levels this can be anything from a walk around the area, to the park or soft play, some days we have quiet days indoors with a lot of different activities. Going out seems to be the kick my system needs to get me out of the mental fog.

1-2pm Get home (if we've been out) and I give them lunch (usually prepped before we left) and then wind down with a story, bottles and then nap time.

2-5pm Twins are asleep and I've finally got my energy levels going so I do whatever housework needs sorting - basically I have to blitz it as I'm likely to procrastinate if I take a break at any point. Then I prep and start cooking the twins dinner.

5pm Twins wake up, DH is back home at this point so he sorts changes and brings them downstairs for structured play - I pop in and out whilst sorting their dinner and getting other jobs finished off.

5pm-8pm Dinner, playtime, reading, bathtime etc. until the twins bedtime arrives.

8pm - 9.30pm DH and I spend some time together, sometimes in comfortable silence whilst we read, or watch some tv together, if we're feeling up to it we might play a board game or just talk.

9.30pm onwards - DH goes to bed. I'm knackered, I tidy up any mess from the evening playtime and maybe get a few other simple jobs done. I sort out any admin tasks that need doing on my computer and then either play a video game or watch some crap telly depending on how my head is doing. I try to get to sleep for around 11pm but by this point my brain is annoyingly awake and so the cycle of insomnia continues, I'm lucky if I fall asleep for 1.30am (last few weeks it's been closer to 3am).

Rinse and repeat :')

I'm 46 with two teenagers.
I drag myself up at 7.30
Walk the dog when the kids have gone to school
Work 10-3pm
Come home, rest, make tea, speak to kids, say hi to husband.
Go back to work 5-9pm.
Watch telly with DH for an hour
That's just 2 days a week, other days I do 9-5 with an hour for lunch and I don't work weekends. I'm very tired and I make mistakes at work. Can't get up hills anymore and feel very foggy. its like you say you kind of get used to feeling crappy and don't think anything of it. This has given me a kick up the backside. I'm going to ring the doctors on Monday. I hope you get the answers you are looking for

To offer some hope- since doing the graduated exercise programme, plus some stuff the physio has found, I've been a lot better.

I 'trotted' up the stairs today. Not ran, but was on the balls of my feet, sort of bouncing. I can't remember the last time I did that. I've been dragging myself up, using the banister, sometimes even crawling.

Sorry but I am about to rant all over your thread.

I have late diagnosed so circulation completely and irriversably fucked high blood pressure and although am on max dose of two different tablets, they don't work very well. GP just raised an eyebrow and said fuck all when told this, so on I go following disinterested doctor's orders. He does prescribe my lactulose though, albeit it 14 days worth for every 56 days worth of tablets. Is nice cos I'm stuck paying for a pre payment prescription card but still have to buy three quarters of the lactulose, all my own painkillers which have skyrocketed in price since the cunty government instituted their dumb mother fucker "only 32 painkillers per customer rule" and I think I am single handedly funding the pharmaceutical company that markets Anusol.

The pills, the high BP itself, certain times in my monthly cycle, the fact that I struggle to eat anything let alone the right thing (even though I can't work out what the right thing is because healthy foods seem to be the worst for my gut) or the combination of two or more of the aforementioned cause hellish constipation, along with a not inconsiderable amount of performance anxiety.

So, I get up, having barely slept because of the numbness/tingling/pain in my feet which is sheer agony. Think that freaky feeling of the circulation returning you get when your foot fell asleep without you noticing, you know, the one that makes you want to smash your head off the nearest brick wall till it passes. I got that pretty much permanently with restless leg syndrome thrown in for good measure.

Take lactulose and spend fuck knows how many hours trying to take a god damn shit.

7 mother fucking hours of drinking loads of water, sitting, standing, bending and bastard jigging about this morning and still nearly blacked out straining in the end.

I am VERY pissed off and utterly exhausted, was shaking and feeling dizzy by the time I washed my hands.

Shitting or not has a massive impact on my day, weird as that may be.

If I go easy, which does thankfully sometimes happen, I am golden. I have to still be careful not to overdo things but am cheerful, grateful and can do some work and get cooking/cleaning/DIY done.

If I have a day like today, I feel terrible. No energy, have to sleep, full of groin pain and struggle to concentrate on any work and household stuff.

I can only work for myself like this, no sane bugger would hire me.

What I find strange is how high BP and low BP can share some of the same crappy symptoms. I also often feel as you describe with the lack of energy, dizzy spells and often getting mentally drained.

It sucks. It's easy to say, "you just have to cope with it all". It's no so easy to live it though.

Thank you all so much for writing about typical energy levels and what is normal for you - it really helps to get a sense of perspective.

If I had the energy, which of course I do not, I'd be incandescently angry at the amount of fobbing off by GPs that seems to happen to women. It's not good enough. What has happened to the medical system that makes them so unbothered about health issues like this that are definitely impacting on everyday life?

It is scary how quite a few of us do adapt and normalise abnormal levels of fatigue and how that's almost encouraged by doctors in a way.

@picklemepopcorn I am glad the graded exercise is working for you. I thought it had fallen out of favour completely, or is that only for ME?

Sometimes I am able to do some gentle exercise a few times a week, and really try because this actually helps my pain - but there are times that is impossible, for maybe 2 weeks at a time. Then my pain gets worse which makes sleeping harder too. All things have a knock on effect and it's difficult to do the right thing for fear of making things worse!

I think you're likely to get mostly responses from people who do have issues with energy, which might skew the view.
I'm 48 and have mildly raised bp which I'm on long-term medication for. It causes me no day-to-day issues. I get up at 7.00 alert for the day. I shower, dress straight away, walk my dog for an hour, go to work, home for lunch, go to work in the afternoon, come home, walk the dog, cook dinner, do some housework, warch tv with the family or play a game, go to bed at 20.30 and read until 11. I never feel really tired unless I have happened to sleep badly or go to bed particularly late for some reason. The only time I was regularly exhausted was when my dc were tiny babies.