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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to call 999?

26 replies

Triedtodotherightthing · 17/10/2019 10:06

NC as this is very identifying.

At the weekend, in the early hours of the morning, I was woken by sounds from next door.

There was a lot of banging and shouting and screaming. I could hear what was being said. It was a family of adults who had been drinking. I'm aware one family member has meltdowns due to ASD, however this involved lots of people shouting and screaming. There was the mention of a knife. There was mention of calling the police.

Then I heard someone screaming "Call an ambulance" so I called 999 as I was scared someone was seriously hurt. I only spoke to the ambulance service.

Several police cars arrived very quickly. I am pretty sure this was in response to the call I made. An ambulance never came so I assume no one was seriously hurt and they called it off. The police were there for about half an hour and then left.

I haven't spoken to my neighbours since but I get a strong sense they are angry with me. Perhaps I should have minded my own business but it was very shocking to hear what was happening and I had sleeping but stirring DC in the house.

WIBU to call 999? What should I say to my neighbours?

OP posts:
EmmaJR1 · 17/10/2019 10:07

You absolutely did the right thing. Don't question yourself.

Original poster
Triedtodotherightthing · 17/10/2019 10:13

Thanks. I feel like I did but I'm not great with conflict and I could do without falling out with the neighbours.

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 17/10/2019 10:15

What should I say to my neighbours?

If they don't approach you about it then you needn't say anything whatsoever. You did the right thing.

mbosnz · 17/10/2019 10:15

If your neighbours have a problem with the police turning up then they need to behave in a manner that doesn't mean that people are so scared and worried that they turn up promptly and in numbers!

This is on them, you totally did the right thing. We've had to do the same thing in the past. And yes, the neighbours got a tad pissy with us. It's on them.

SoundsAboutRight · 17/10/2019 10:26

You did the right thing. You heard someone shout "call an ambulance" so you did. I wouldn't speak to them about it, but if they approach you and ask about it then I would say exactly that. Not your fault who actually turned up, their address is probably on their records so they sent the appropriate emergency service. Don't give it another thought.

Letsnotusemyname · 17/10/2019 10:47

Anyone decent would have done exactly the same.

You can’t wait to see if it gets ‘worse’ or think someone else will call.

I’d have done the same.

ColdRainAgain · 17/10/2019 10:55

You absolutely did the right thing.
You dont need to let the neighbours know it was you tho - you were exhausted at the weekend, and slept like a log all night, didn't you?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/10/2019 11:10

Of course you did the right thing.

What should I say to my neighbours?

Don't say anything! You don't need to let them know it was you. Quite frankly. I would not engage with them at all.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/10/2019 11:19

You did absolutely the right thing. Nothing to apologize for. You could have saved a life. I wouldn't say anything to them about it unless they approach you. If they do, say what SoundsAboutRight suggested.

userxx · 17/10/2019 11:45

They can't prove its you. You did the right thing 100%.

Stickysnot · 17/10/2019 11:55

You heard someone shout to call for an ambulance, so you did. Nothing to be embarrassed about
What are you worried they will say to you ?

Bunnyfuller · 17/10/2019 12:06

Why should they be cross with you? How would they know you called 999?

headinhands · 17/10/2019 12:08

Perhaps I should have minded my own business

They force you in to listening to it. It is your business

walkintheparc · 17/10/2019 12:10

I haven't spoken to my neighbours since but I get a strong sense they are angry with me

Why would you know that?

It could have been anyone in the street, right?

Just relax, it's really not a big deal.

welshladywhois40 · 17/10/2019 12:37

You did the right thing. I was in a volatile relationship where my ex used to shout at me loudly and some arguments i just couldn't get him stop and once I screamed out of frustration. Another time he was throwing furniture around the room and slamming doors.

Both times my neighbours called the police and I am thankful they did and cared enough to do so. The screaming part not so but the second time yes as who is to know he wasn't throwing things at me. That night I was removed for my safety.

Your neighbour won't know which neighbour has complained.

Tableclothing · 17/10/2019 12:45

I think the "strong sense" that your neighbours are angry is more likely to be your own worry talking. They're probably more preoccupied with dealing with the fallout of whatever was going on, than worrying about who called.

Imagine if you'd heard everything that you did, chose not to call, and then one or more of your neighbours got carried out in a body bag. You absolutely did the right thing.

TheTrollFairy · 17/10/2019 12:50

Unless you are the only house near them they can’t prove it was you.
I would have done the same thing

smugmug · 17/10/2019 12:56

Yes you were right to call an ambulance, unless you are the only person for miles they cannot know it was you that called , the fact the police were there for an hour and a half simply proves that you did the necessary thing.
I would guess at the speed of the police arrival that someone else had phoned them before you
Easiest thing is to just get on with life and not say anything

Original poster
Triedtodotherightthing · 17/10/2019 13:14

The police were only there for half an hour. There's a neighbour the other side, of course. I'm not sure if anyone further away could have heard them so they probably know it was me.

I get the feeling they are angry because I usually see them most days to say hello to and I've not since the weekend.

Thanks for telling me I did the right thing. I purposely didn't ask for the police. Of course I knew there was a chance they would attend but my neighbours may not realise I didn't just get on the phone and call the police to their house. I definitely didn't think so many of them would turn up.

OP posts:
Windydaysuponus · 17/10/2019 13:21

I have rung 999 several times on my neighbours. Once like you it was violent and a knife was mentioned.
They actually thanked me for preventing things getting out of control.
You have done nothing wrong op. Quite the opposite ime...

Sleepyhead19 · 17/10/2019 13:22

I’ve been in your position, minus the knife comment! I heard screaming and banging from my neighbour and a woman screaming for a man to get off her. It got very heated and eventually the woman walked out yet at that point, I was just dialling the police. As I could see she was ok, I left it and spoke to the mother the next day and told her what happened. I don’t think she exactly believed me at first but she definitely did after she spoke to the family.
I couldn’t live with the guilt if I had heard people shouting about a knife and ambulance and not called the police so I believe you did the right thing.

amicissimma · 17/10/2019 13:24

"I purposely didn't ask for the police."

If they ask you if you rang the police you can quite truthfully say 'no'. They can't tell who rang 999. For all you know, another neighbour may have also done so.

MuchBetterNow · 17/10/2019 13:26

I've called police on my neighbours a few times. They've never found out it was me, the police aren't allowed to disclose who complained. Stop worrying about it.

suggestionsplease1 · 17/10/2019 13:39

You did the right thing. You have also hopefully lessened the chances of this scenario arising again - having the police out can be a wake up call to some about the seriousness of their behaviour.

Daenerys77 · 17/10/2019 13:50

Is your neighbour Boris Johnson?

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