AIBU to feel am not to blame?

[Ticketyboop]

My DH and I relocated out of London to live closer to family a while ago. This was a hard decision to take, but we thought our kids needed family around and we were struggling financially because DH decided to leave his job and go freelance. Now, fast-forward five years, DH's business hasn't really taken off as he hoped it would and he is blaming me for having persuaded him to leave the city to a quieter place. Every time we have an argument, it escalates into him accusing me of "ruining his life" and money issues become a blame game. We've just had a huge flare up this morning because he's fallen out with my parents and I'm feeling drained. I feel it's unfair as I never forced him to relocate and feel I shouldn't take the blame for his financial issues or business problems. I have worked steadily in the meantime to support the family, allowing him space to develop his own business, and I am totally bewildered by how much resentment surfaces each time we argue. He has suggested counselling and perhaps it's a good idea. Does anyone have any advice?

I think counselling would really help you with all these issues. Especially the resentment he has - finding a way for him to get over this and to see if it is fair or not.

When he isn't raging, what kind of thoughts does he have about his business and also about your new town? Do you think he would like the town if he wasn't reliant on it for his business? Do you think he is being realistic about the business?

To be honest he isn't coming across well here. How many hours does he work and how many do you? Why do you have to sort all the childcare??

I have a feeling he's hoping you'll say, "Oh fuck off back to London, then" and he can go back without feeling guilty.

Sending you a hug

Sounds alot like my EA ex. Playing the blame game. In particular he consistently raised arguments when I had something crucial on at work. I recognise the sick feeling. Good luck OP.

What industry did he decide to freelance in (mediocre success of which caused financial difficulty and subsequently triggered the move from London aka it was his fault)? And which area did you move to?

I often wonder about councelling. Do you want to stay married to someone who throws this stuff in your face - while you are earning the money and giving him space to do his thing.

I'd tell him to think long and hard about what he's saying and how he thinks he'd get on without you having his back.

And then go to Relate if you feel you want to - I'd be out of there, tbh.