To consider cutting contact with my dad for a while?

[KateMcd]

I'm 27 and was always a daddy's girl until about 2 years ago when we had our first argument (fyi my parents are divorced and I lived with my mum). It was a major argument & took us weeks to make up. It really shook me as we had never fought before.

He has now had a string of angry outbursts in the last year. One included a family hol where he actually called me a b*stard & behaved badly towards other relatives. He did end up apologising soon after.

A few months ago we went on a trip, just the two of us, and it was mainly very nice. But we did have another small argument in the end due to his selfishness.

About 2 weeks ago, he had another angry outburst at a relative, causing her to burst into tears, and was using aggressive body language too which is new. I found it quite scary tbh. He said he was sorry after and that 'I just feel angry all the time.' Both his father and his friend died in the last year. I said he can't behave like this and needs to get a grip of himself or see a doctor etc. He then admitted his manager has recently warned him about 'confrontational behaviour' also.

ANYWAY, the crux of the thread: I stayed overnight with him recently. He was going on hol for 2 days and left the house before me. He showed me how to put the heating on and off twice (it's very easy & not rocket science). So 30 mins before I left I turned the heating off exactly as shown and heard it go off. Then I left. Oh and btw the heating was acting up for him the night before.

He returned from his trip today, 2 days later, and sent me an angry WhatsApp message saying the heating was on, it's all your fault, thanks for nothing etc. So I replied saying I had done exactly as instructed and he replied even more aggressively, attacking my character as well. I said I deserved an apology and he said I wasn't getting it.

I love my dad but I am sick and tired of his crappy behaviour. I am done with being treated this way as I am now always walking on eggshells wondering when he is going to lose the plot again. AIBU to just not speak to him anymore?

I just don't understand what has happened to him. I also have depression and can't deal with this.

Of course you have reached the end of your tether. How he has treated you is appalling. All you can do is implore him, one more time, to seek help. Aside from that, you need to put your own wellbeing first and cease contact. Regardless of what's "wrong" with your father, you can't allow yourself to be his punching bag. Even limited contact may be too much if he can't be civil, so don't hesitate to block him if that's what you need to focus on your own healing.

Thank you Aquamarine. It is very sad. He keeps lashing out at the people that care about him most. He will end up alone if he continues.

I was always closer to my dad than any other relative so it hurts badly. I will implore him to seek help and also limit contact. I need to focus on getting myself well. Thank you again.