WIBU?

[Iamnotagoddess]

My manager was off work long term sick. We did not know why but different manager told us the reason why she was off, which was a very personal health issue.

I was being supervised by this different manager, who told me that she would ask if she could manage me permanently when original came back as she had enjoyed it and it would take heat off original. Which I was fine about as I liked her and respected her, and I trusted her.

Supervision involves having a few hours supervision a month so it’s quite a big deal who you have it with.

In the overlap period between original coming back and different still managing me I was really struggling with workload, atmosphere and other managers micro managing and generally treating staff like shit, sending patronising, undermining emails. I was having an email conversation with different re this and she was offering a bit of a there there (I know it was idiotic to do this over email but no names were mentioned). I felt at breaking point tbh as it was becoming unbearable.

She then (unbeknown to me) forwarded this email to Original who has given me a bollocking today for being unprofessional.

I didn’t tell original that different told me why she was off (which is even more unprofessional IMO) as I didn’t want to say it in anger, was concerned about the impact this would have on her and also didn’t want to appear unprofessional whilst being told I was unprofessional.

But was I out of order here?

Have just realised what absolutely shit title this is

IMO , you can talk to anyone at your work, as long as you are being truthfull, if you are having a moan it's between you and that person.
If the other person does not want to hear it or be involved it's up to them to say stop.
It's not for them to pass on a private email.
It just my opinion, others might not agree.
I don't think you have BU.
Maybe learn not to trust others though, grrr backstabbers.

Yep. You need to change the title

Meh, fairly banal situation if it’s just general moaning without details and names.
What’s wrong as I can see:
Different manager is a gossip and shit stirrer.
Original manager is a shit manager - instead of discussing your difficulties and unhappiness, she is focusing solely on punishing you. She could have explored the issue and end it with advice not to complain over email as it leaves a trail.

No another colleague and I have both been stung by these same people.

We trust no one now.

Which is a shame as I really respected different in a shit shower of managers.

There has someone been reporting stuff back to our manager for months and we couldn’t figure out who it was (stuff being said in the presumed “safe space” of the office).

Now I had a fairly good idea who.

Take what you can from this job (resume fodder) and pack up

@7Worfs.

Yeah I would but there are aspects of it I like and am in a public sector field that had been hugely cut.

Unfortunately, you can't win in this situation as original will see you as unprofessional if you explain how unprofessional different has been, and different is obviously two-faced and not as nice as they first appeared. I would just keep your mouth shut, head down and be super professional, and apologise for unknowingly causing any offence.

Also explain as a private conversation via email, you were simply highlighting difficulties you were experiencing, as per your contract(most contracts ask for difficulties to be brought to manager's attention.)

Yes! TBH I wasn’t sure who the hell was my manager at the time as another manager was sticking her ore in on my cases/direct reports as well as a senior manager when I had everything totally under control and my main issue was numerous managers over complicating my work 🙈

And different was just respecting my judgement and letting me get on with it (while subtlety sticking the knife in my back).