My mum and dad both died a while ago and I have one older sibling. Older sibling has kids who are my age and we are very close and more like siblings than their aunt (talking 2/3 years difference). When I had my kids I had little to no family support and ended up with bad PND. Dsib when i approached them for support told me I just "had a touch of the blues" and that our mum had me when they had their kids so they didn't have any support (which is funny because part of the reason I'm so close with their kids is all the overnight babysitting my parents did).
My niece has had her first child in the last couple of years and is struggling in much the same way I did except my sibling drops everything and does all the overnights for her, tells me constantly how we need to rally around and look after them, care packages, does her washing etc and as her parent I get that!
However I had a really horrendous day this week with my kids/work etc and sent my niece a message saying I felt super stressed and unsupported (my husband is working abroad at the moment). My sibling has then rung me and had a massive go at me saying I have no right to "unload my non-issues" on my niece, she's having a "much harder time than you had" and to just put up and shut up.
I have a tricky relationship with this sibling and I wasn't trying to get my niece to fix my problems but just looking for a supportive/empathetic ear while I was struggling. It always seems like I have to rally around and make all the sympathetic noises when her or her family is struggling but I'm not allowed to even peep a complaint. My niece has since called me and apologised profusely and said she had just mentioned to her parent I might need some support as I sounded like I was having a bad week. I've been there when my niece has text me at 3am bereft and I'm always there when they argue between them. Am I being unreadable in reaching out for support? I know my sibling is trying to protect their child from more stress but other than my family I'm not really sure where I am meant to go when I have a bad day.
Sorry for the rambling but they've really upset me during a bad week (would have been my dads birthday this week) and while I get they are probably equally upset they had so much support when they had kids etc. I feel a bit short changed on love and support sometimes.