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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think was not ok to say?

16 replies

Worriedsick11 · 16/10/2019 16:56

To cut a long story short
Me and dh were arguing about a woman who he seems to have gotten close to at work. He hasnt been trustworthy in the past so I made a comment on how I bet he has asked for her number.
His response:

"I could get her number if I wanted to, if I was single and she was" this was said very bitterly.

I just couldn't make this out but it did hurt. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 16/10/2019 16:58

Sounds like it’s time to get into a relationship with a nice person who likes and respects you Flowers

CSIblonde · 16/10/2019 16:59

It sounds like he's not happy in his relationship & wants to be single. Sorry OP. Are things generally not great? IME men who cheat often can't give it up: it's the ego boost & thrill of the chase, its addictive.

MrsTWH · 16/10/2019 17:01

I mean this kindly OP, but what is the point in being with someone who isn’t trustworthy?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/10/2019 17:04

Of course that's not OK to say. It was spiteful and deliberately meant to hurt you.

BeyondMyWits · 16/10/2019 17:05

sounds like you are looking to trip him up, to catch him out, gets wearing after a while - probably snapped so snipped back at you bitterly, probably not a nice way for him to say it, but you do say you were arguing...

Snowfalling · 16/10/2019 17:06

To me, his comment reads as though he resents you for having to be faithful.

How long will you keep fighting for this marriage op? It must be exhausting. Peace of mind is so much better than this.

There is a life to lived out there without him.

Original poster
Worriedsick11 · 16/10/2019 17:12

Weird thing is when I questioned him on how he knew she was single, he didn't have an answer n kept saying "I just dont thinknshe is!"

Weve only been married 2 months 😥

OP posts:
Mummyshark2018 · 16/10/2019 17:27

I think it's weird what you said in the first place. I've never said that to my dh. His response sounds like he's trying to get back at you for saying something which could be perceived as ridiculous/ offensive if that person was totally faithful and innocent.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 16/10/2019 17:29

This is so sad, Worried 2 months married! Why did you think marriage would change him? You deserve better. Nobody deserves this shit, especially in the first flush of married life when you should be gloriously happy. It won't get better.

I am sorry. Flowers

Aquamarine1029 · 16/10/2019 17:30

Why on earth would you marry a man you know you can't trust? Absolute madness.

Blanca87 · 16/10/2019 17:31

Fuck that. Life is preciously short, get him to fuck and enjoy your life again.

araiwa · 16/10/2019 17:33

Stupid questions get stupid answers

FudgeBrownie2019 · 16/10/2019 17:34

Of course it wasn't ok. He's an arsehole and you need more than this in order to live a happy life.

AlexaAmbidextra · 16/10/2019 17:37

He hasn’t been trustworthy in the past so you married him? Did you think he would magically change? Two months in and already you’re sniping at him because you don’t trust him, understandably, and he obviously resents you. The early days of marriage really shouldn’t be like this. Do you really think you can live with this level of misery in the long term?

Original poster
Worriedsick11 · 16/10/2019 19:35

Dont know why we married. Big waste.

OP posts:
Elieza · 16/10/2019 19:55

Sorry you’re going through this op.
Two months is such a short time.

Perhaps you could get the marriage annulled if you both say you didn’t consummate? Is that possible these days?

You could ask him if he wants to annul and see what he says?

At least you’ll know where you stand.

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