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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Just lost our dream house-heartbroken

76 replies

Auramigraine · 16/10/2019 15:49

Been watching this house being built from foundations, perfect area, price, house etc. Was negotiating with the developers over the price on Saturday, Couldn’t get there until today to sign reservation paperwork, email today, someone reserved it on Sunday!! We’ve been enquiring about it since June, they know that house is the one we have been after all along. AIBU to think what a shitty thing to do?

Now been sat in tears and no other houses to buy that even remotely come close.

Any success stories of finding something better to cheer me up?

OP posts:

keepingbees · 16/10/2019 16:35

If you feel they've been unfair then put it in writing and ask to be offered first refusal if it falls through.
It must be very disappointing but what's meant to be will be I think.

Blobby10 · 16/10/2019 16:36

Sorry to post an irrelevance Auramigraine and I do sympathise but I just love the username @GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap . Have you recovered from Sundays disappointment?!!!

WaxOnFeckOff · 16/10/2019 16:36

When we bought our new build we had to drop everything and drive (we were reloacting) with 2 toddlers to put our names and £200 cheque down. We thought they could take our email and a bank transfer but apparently couldn't.

It's a shame OP but weekends are the busiest time so there was a good chance that someone else would reserve. For all you know, they might have been asking about it since before you.

I'd also keep in with the sales team, let them know you are disappointed and still interested. It's not unknown for people to pull out or for plots to come up unexpectedly.

madcatladyforever · 16/10/2019 16:39

Personally I would never ever in a new home. I've had two and the problems were gob smacking including hospitalisation with carbon monoxide poisoning due to concrete in a flue.
Currently living in a grade 2 listed place and couldn't be happier.
It's stood for 300 years and will stand for 300 more.

Maryann1975 · 16/10/2019 16:40

I do feel for you, but if you were negotiating on the price (presumably offering lower than they were asking for) and someone offered the full asking price and paid the deposit, I can see why they have gone with them. You might have walked away from the negotiations and found somewhere else to buy.

I hope you find somewhere else you like even more though. I get completely that house buying is highly stressful.

BarbaraStrozzi · 16/10/2019 16:45

Thanks, Aura. Hopefully something better will come along.

I'm actually taking a five minute break from unpacking cardboard boxes right now! Seems no point in putting the house back on the market till spring.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 16/10/2019 16:47

In my experience of buying houses, many of which have fallen through, either people pull out and it goes back on the market, or something better comes along. I've never felt that the property that I finally moved into was second choice to the one that I initially really wanted.

Pa55thegin · 16/10/2019 16:47

Sorry OP! Could you say to them that if the buyers pull out, you would still be interested?

I'm a believer that these things happen for a reason. We found our dream home, did the paperwork and surveys for it but were messed about and eventually it fell through. Was heartbroken but looking back, we dodged a bullet! We moved earlier this year and its a fab home. Much better than the other one.

I no that doesn't help how you feel now but chin up, hopefully things will change!

INeedAFlerken · 16/10/2019 16:48

Ask to be contacted if the buyer pulls out. It does happen.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 16/10/2019 16:53

I know someone who recently bought a new build who slept outside the reservations office for two days in their car to secure it.

You spoke on Saturday and have only just followed up today? That's not enough of a commitment when housebuying. Being so hands off, you wouldn't stand a chance getting a solicitor to do their job!

ChicCroissant · 16/10/2019 16:54

At one point when we were buying a house we liked two houses and had to choose. At the time we agonised over it but looking back at the other possible choice now we wonder what TF we were thinking! It is easy to get caught up in a bubble, we absolutely made the right choice for us at the time.

Even the house we have now isn't one I'd have picked out of EA details (we were renting it before we bought it) but it's a good'un!

beckyvardy · 16/10/2019 16:57

We lost what we thought was our dream house and now I am glad we did.

We had been in three times over the course of three months. Put our name down for the show home and advised we had first refusal. Filled in paperwork, left my details etc etc. I even made a joke when I went in each time saying "I'm paranoid you will lose my details"

Went in the last time with my mum to show her and the office was attached to the show home, walked in and there was a women in there talking to the agent about the show home. The lady left and I said to the agent we had already reserved it. She couldn't find the paperwork or my details and the lady who left had first refusal now.

We were gutted.

That sale actually fell though and the same agent rang me to ask if I was still interested. I said I thought you had no record of me or my details 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I knocked it back.

Now when I drive past it, it's swarmed with cars all over the pavement, blocking them in because of the football they seem to have every other night and every weekend in the fields opposite.

Maybe this will be a blessing in disguise for you and you will end up with a house you love even more. ❤️

DaisyBD · 16/10/2019 17:03

buying a house is super stressful and the chances are you won't end up with your 'dream' house - for a start, you can only buy what's available at the time you are ready to buy. so let go of the idea that there's a perfect house for you, a soulmate house. I was desperate for a particular house when we were buying - to the extent that i wrote a begging letter to the seller (on top of offering the asking price). the other buyer got it, but pulled out later, and by then we were way down the line in buying our second choice. in retrospect, i still feel sad about the one we didn't get but it's probably for the best, i love our house and we haven't had to spend ££££ on fixing the roof and floors and heating and all the other things the perfect house would have needed. it's only a house, another one will come along

daisychain01 · 16/10/2019 17:05

OP if I were you, I'd send the developer an email stating that you would like them to give you first refusal on that property, if the other parties pull out (Subject to Contract). So much can happen, you never know, the other people could be flakey and it's back on the market again in 2 weeks time. It's always a fluid and unpredictable situation. Thing is, get in there now, state your interest and meanwhile keep searching.

Just to give you a positive story we found our current home when our "dream home" fell through. I can honestly say that we couldn't be happier here, even though at the time the other house seemed to be perfect. I bet you will feel the same, even if it feels like the end of the world today.

justasking111 · 16/10/2019 17:06

This has happened twice to people I know on two different sites with different builders this year. On both occasions they had agreed to purchase, done all the legal stuff, got funds in place to be told oops someone else beat you to it yesterday. One case they had picked the plot before a brick was laid because of its size and location on the development. It stinks but developers do it.

Rivkka · 16/10/2019 17:09

Saturday til Wednesday is too long.

Did you see the people in the paper recently who complained to Bellway and had their house put back on the market?

These people are ruthless.

KitKat1985 · 16/10/2019 17:10

I can sympathise. But to be fair if you've been interested since June why hadn't you formally reserved it earlier? The developer's won't hold anything for you without you signing a contract and putting a deposit down. There are loads of people who express interest in new builds but then never actually go through with it, so with you expressing an interest for weeks but never actually formally agreeing to buy it, they may have just had you down as a timewaster, sorry.

Chalk it up as a lesson learnt and there will be other houses I promise.

Walkingthedog46 · 16/10/2019 17:16

Don’t lose hope yet - maybe the other people won’t be able to raise the mortgage. Same happened to my daughter - she was pipped at the post by other buyers, but told the estate agent she was still interested if the first offer fell through. As it turned out, the first people couldn’t raise the mortgage, so my daughter got her house after all.

Justaboy · 16/10/2019 17:19

You must NEVER and I mean that, get excited about buying a house untill such times as the keys to it are in your hand, then and only then do you pop the champange corks.

Got that?.

Original poster

Auramigraine · 16/10/2019 17:23

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. Feeling more confident now that hopefully a better house will come along. I will email at some point tonight and ask to be first refusal if the buyers pull out. @KitKat1985 I put above that we offered early reservation but they said no need as they knew we were first in line, maybe I should be more pushy, who knows.
Yes Sunday to Wednesday was a lot of time, but we explained that and they were fine with it, the negotiating was due to the fact we expressed interest back when they were selling them lower (which they knew and were happy to meet the lower price) obviously like has been said on here, someone must have offered the new asking price and they snapped their hands off.

Lesson learned to toughen up and not get attached to any house until it’s exchanged!! X

OP posts:

VickyEadieofThigh · 16/10/2019 17:27

I wouldn't buy a new build these days - they're invariably very shoddily built and the stories about people buying a nightmare are legion.

The old system of having to have new builds signed off by an independent person have gone, with the result that the builders are cutting all sorts of corners.

MoodleJam · 16/10/2019 17:30

Everything happens for a reason. We put in a bid and owner assured us it was ours and then sold it to someone else the next day. We were devastated, in the end We bought our second choice and looking back we are so happy where we are. It turns out to be perfect for us especially after we put our stamp on it. And the original house was in a bad area anyway. We would have regretted it if we had got it.

Derbee · 16/10/2019 17:33

Lesson learned to toughen up and not get attached to any house until it’s exchanged!!

This is absolutely correct. We had an offer accepted last week, and we are just starting all of the Conveyancing etc. Nothing is ever secure until exchange.

I would be very careful about buying a new build. You are guaranteed to lose money on it in the short term, because prices are inflated as they flood the market or withhold properties. The show homes are always lovely, but new builds are cheaply built, and just thrown together. Better to put your trust and money in a house that has been standing for a bit, in an established housing market

CrumblyMumbly · 16/10/2019 17:35

My 'dream house' fell through and I was so upset but I found one so much better. Things happen for a reason and it will work out for the best.

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/10/2019 17:37

Not relating to new builds but my friends were terribly messed around with a house they were buying, ended up renting for a bit while they found an alternative, and the house they didn’t get fell into a sink hole

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