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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel this way

4 replies

Duggeeismysaviour · 16/10/2019 15:20

I'm so tired and feeling sorry for myself.

Maybe I just need a mental/mumsnet slap.

I'm currently abroad in the US with dh and just turned 2 year old ds1. We're visiting family, who have young cousins he loves... wouldn't come this far with him if not.

I have had a cold turned into sinusitis for 9 days now, and have had very little sleep during this time. I cannot breathe through my nose, my whole face on one side is hurting today and I'm very limited in what I can take as I'm 33 weeks pregnant. I'm also having reflux in my sleep, which is waking me up the few times I do go to sleep.

Ds1 is such a lovely little boy but he is in the full swing of toddler tantrums. I am currently hiding in a bedroom being because I'm so tired and low on reserves, and mainly upset because his absolute hysterical outbursts are largely centred around people leaving the house. I'm trying to be gentle and understanding that this separation anxiety is normal on top of jet lag and new environment, I try to soothe him, explain his feelings to him, simply sit quietly with him. But the thing that has pushed me over the edge is he just swings out at me. He didn't want to be touched or held. Yesterday his father left for one hour, he suddenly remembered half way through our lovely play time, and became truly hysterical, for 45mins. And me, his own mum, could not console him.

He listens to everyone else, he doesn't try to hit them. I'm so careful not to let him see I'm frustrated or upset, but with my exhaustion and feeling unwell, I just can't take any more of this. I honestly wasn't to go home, and truly believe he would not really notice or care.

Please tell me this is all normal and I'm just having a bad morning

OP posts:
FriedasCarLoad · 16/10/2019 15:34

My child isn’t this age yet, and I have no idea what’s normal.

But one of the best mums I know struggled a great deal with her toddler’s behaviour. I can only imagine it’s a lot harder when you’re also pregnant and unwell.

Sorry not to have helpful advice, and I hope this tricky phase soon passes. Flowers

MT2017 · 16/10/2019 16:07

It's a bad morning. Chin up op, you will feel better when you've had some decent sleep Flowers

Duggeeismysaviour · 16/10/2019 21:08

Thank you, I appreciate it. I just want my happy boy back (I know he is allowed to have his unhappy times), and I wish he would let me comfort him. I hate that he hits me away when I touch him when he's upset. I'm also just exhausted and seriously worried about new baby dynamics now. If I can somehow get one hour nights sleep, I'm sure my perspective will improve

OP posts:
Armadillostoes · 16/10/2019 21:15

YANBU-It sounds like a rough day. Also his being more difficult with you than other probably stems from feeling secure with you. In a perverse sort of way, he feels able to push you away and express his anger because he trusts you. Hope you feel better soon.Flowers

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