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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday party ettiquette

21 replies

Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 13:05

Aibu to invite 17 of 30 in one class? Its 10 girls, 7 boys

Do I need to feed adults? It's 11-2 at a soft play? Kids are being fed

Any other rules?

OP posts:
toomuchfaster · 16/10/2019 13:06

17/30 is fine. You don't need to feed adults but a drink would be appreciated if possible. I mean either supply tea/coffee or have the opportunity to purchase one.

ZoeWashburne · 16/10/2019 13:07

I was always taught all girls, all boys, or if a mixture less than half of the class. Therefore I would invite 14 maximum.

It is certainly nice to feed the adults, as your party happens over a meal time, but not required. What age is this? Are you sure parents won't drop and run? Do you have enough people to supervise if this is the case?

TheFlis12345 · 16/10/2019 13:10

Please feed the adults! Or at least have snacks for them. I have been at a party with the same timings but not so much as a crisp for parents. Had to leave house at 10.15 to get there on time, party ran slightly over so didn’t get home until past 3, was absolutely starving!

Original poster
Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 13:10

I was going to do a tab with the place to allow parents to have drinks and cake but wasn't sure if actual food is necessary!

It's 4 and 5 year olds and not a drop and run.

School have thrown me as I had booked for 30 expecting to a class party but they mix the classes so much throughout the day that the other 13 are from the other two classes

OP posts:
GlitterSparkle85 · 16/10/2019 13:37

I'd make it clear that adults can help themselves or put up a little sign to say Parents/Adult table-went to a birthday party like that no one spoke to say food for everyone so a lot of adults just bought drinks from the coffee bar! One idea that I'm adopting for my LO party is to have hand wipes near the food too!Good luck X

GlitterSparkle85 · 16/10/2019 13:39

Sorry is the venue providing food or DIY?

Original poster
Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 13:40

The venue are doing hot meals for the kids. I can choose to order a mountain of pizza for the adults but it's £20 A pizza and potentially 60 adults so would have no idea how much to order.

OP posts:
BlackTrousers · 16/10/2019 13:41

Depends. If there are 11 girls or 8 boys, then it's not ok.
If there's an equal mix not coming then it's fine.

Original poster
Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 13:42

There's 5 girls not and 8 boys not so I know the girls is a bit iffy

OP posts:
CastleCrasher · 16/10/2019 13:42

I always do tea and coffee, big box of biscuits and a little extra of the actual food and tell the parents to help themselves. There's always loads anyway so they might as well minimise the waste/leftovers!

Drum2018 · 16/10/2019 13:43

Don't order food for adults. Just feed the kids. Adults can buy a pot of tea or have water/dilutable drink if they want. I wouldn't be buying them cake.

Sooverthemill · 16/10/2019 13:43

Do you mean you've invited 47 children?

Howlovely · 16/10/2019 13:45

I would never expect to be fed at a child's birthday party! It's expensive enough to host a party for children without spending substantially more on feeding potentially 60 parents! Where on earth does it end? Surely adults can wait a couple of hours between meals and they can order something to eat if they really can't wait.

suitcaseofdreams · 16/10/2019 13:49

So 30 kids coming but from 3 classes within the year? With 17 from one class?
Sounds fine to me, wouldn’t worry about that

If it’s soft play with cafe, don’t provide food/drink for parents - they can go to the cafe :-)

Have fun and then heave a sigh of relief that whole class parties are only really expected in Reception!

GlitterSparkle85 · 16/10/2019 13:51

Ok fair enough it's down to preference really most adults dont expect to be fed at childrens parties however it's a nice touch to have a few nibbles for parents gives you a chance to speak to parents you may not have and can be a nice way to start convo-most people wouldn't say no to cake!

Original poster
Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 13:53

Yes 30 from the year with 17 from one. I hadn't realised they would mix between classes so much!

No food for adults it is but will do drinks!

OP posts:
holidays987 · 16/10/2019 13:59

The numbers sounds fine to me! And no need to provide food for the adults. The party is for the children and they are being fed. If it's 11-2 that's three hours though, which is far too long.

Original poster
Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 14:16

Well the venue book them from 11 to eat at 1, from 12 to eat at 2 etc so I have assumed that it's 2 hours playing/tractor ride and then food at 1 and finished after they have eaten

OP posts:
Original poster
Prepaymentfear · 16/10/2019 14:19

I have quite obviously never done a party before and failing miserably

OP posts:
newmumwithquestions · 16/10/2019 14:36

Numbers sound fine. I don’t understand the girls/boys mix thing that done PP suggest.. They’re 4 and 5 ffs. Let’s stop segregating by sex all the time. A mix is good and that’s what you’ve got - you don’t need an exactly equal mix.

Fine not to feed adults. Snacks would be nice if the soft play allow you to (I’m looking at booking one, ours allow snacks so will bring crisps, etc for the adults, as well as topping up the provided kids party food with some salad and fruit)

Decide how to handle siblings. As it’s soft play I’d suggest you say siblings will have to be paid for as a normal entry. Just decide what you want here and let parents know. You get parents being cheeky fuckers with siblings but I’ve also been really glad of options of it being fine to bring a sibling as long as you pay.

holidays987 · 16/10/2019 20:33

Let’s stop segregating by sex all the time.

Here here! Smile

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