party invites

[nannybeach]

Desided to take 25 friends (and children) out for my Birthday. Was reading an "agony Aunt" columbe recently on this very topic. Saying that when people get invites via texts, they reply with texts, nothing taken terribly seriously. I paid to have invtation specially made, sent them out 6 weeks prior, requested an RSVP, have so far had to pay deposit, for venue. I desided half term because I have friends who are teachers,parents, (children made clear on invites also invited) medics. I knew then, some would be unable to change their shifts, so far just 3 people have said they are working and have been unable to change their shifts. I have heard nothing from the rest. I have just a couple more days to cancel (or fork out money,maybe for nothing) my DD said when she sent out party invites for the GDs, a lot of people failed to reply, yet turned up. I dont feel I should have to contact people ask if they are coming, I dont have contact details for them all, because some have changed places of work, invites passed on. AIBU to think this is incredibly rude, and want to cancel?

Have you reached the RSVP date yet?

I personally would be less likely to reply to a formal invitation than to a text because I'm more likely to lose it (whereas text is in my phone). What if some of them have lost it? If you don't have their contact information (which begs the question why you would want them to come to your birthday anyway if you aren't that close), maybe they don't have yours either if they can't find the invite?

When is the party and when is the RSVP date? Half term is usually a really tricky time for people (not an easy time to be able to schedule in something extra), so it's possible some just don't know yet. That said, I don't know that most people would take a dinner invite seriously - like a wedding invite. I would assume if we were meeting for dinner that we could just book a table a few days before. It may not be as obvious to everyone else that this is a 'function' that you have to book and pay for, as opposed to just an invite to dinner, with no cost to you.

Yes, they all know. I picked half term partly because |I have friends who are teachers, and those with kids would be collecting them, in school time, (I have moved away from the area where I was) Its not dinner, its afternoon tea.Made clear on the invite, the venue, so would have thought for 25 people you would have to book in advance, you can hardly turn up with that amount of people.I have known some of these people well over 25 years, we all worked together, saw them recently, because of logistics, we now meet, Birthdays,Christmas and the like. We did see each other a couple of months ago.

Can you follow up by text?

RSVP date Monday, yes, can follow up by text,but, do I, do I assume if folk havent said no, they are coming, or do I send a text out "are you coming or not then, because I need to finnalise the booking"

I'd text them about dietary requirements, I find that usually gets people replying quickly.

Follow up text - Hi Guys, just checking in as I've not received your RSVPs for x event. I'm finalising numbers today so please confirm asap. If I haven't confirmed receipt of your RSVP please assume that it hasn't been received. I'll book numbers based on this on Monday. Thanks, hope to see you all there :) x

"I personally would be less likely to reply to a formal invitation than to a text because I'm more likely to lose it"

It is never OK to not reply to an invitation

A follow up text along the lines of what SellmeyourMLMcrap has suggested is a good idea or could you create a Messenger/WhatsApp group for reminders instead?

Round here most people create a group on Messenger when a birthday outing is in the offing. The message updates tend to remind people that it is happening.

Yes, I like the sellmeyour idea, no, theres no dietry requirements. The one vegan in our group is unable to make it.