To be so harsh with DD

[Anon234]

Eldest DD started reception about 6 weeks ago, no problems, really loves it. I have 2 other children (2.5yrs and 6 months). DH is away this week so I've been doing morning routine/school runs and everything else on my own (hats off to single parents, you are completely amazing!!). This morning, all was going well, we were dressed, fed and out of the house on time. Then the trouble started. We had to park what felt like miles from school because it was really busy. To cut a long (and emotionally draining) story short, eldest DD threw a massive tantrum because she had to walk up the hill while her siblings were being pushed (pram/buggy board). By the time we got to school we were 5 minutes late and they were about to shut the gates. Rather than be sympathetic, I feel like I was a bit hard on her. She was crying and refusing to pick her bag up to go in so I raised my voice to her and effectively forced her in to school. I've come away feeling awful, I keep thinking of her being upset for the rest of the day, I didn't even say goodbye to her properly. Was that just a really horrible thing to do?

YANBU. It had to be done.

Give her a big hug when you collect her and don’t dwell on it any longer.

Don’t feel bad we have all been there. Big cuddle after school as pp poster and maybe chat about how you shouldn’t have lost your temper but that you need her to walk properly and not tantrum etc.

What else could you do? Mine walk to school and my reception child often plays up from much earlier in the morning and is practically dragged down road so I think you had a fab morning!

Ah she's only little and she's only six weeks in. Don't beat yourself up but be nice to her tonight and say sorry, lots of cuddles.

OP she probably won't remember.

Also next time you are pushing two little ones up a hill or on a longish walk praise her for being a big girl and walking.

We’ve all had days like that
I would explain to her, in simple terms why you did what you did and that she’s need to work with you on this.

Sounds a rubbish morning but it was just 1 of those mornings she was testing you and being naughty it will be forgotten by the time you pick her up.

She will probably have forgotten all about it by now so don't worry about her being upset all day

Don't feel bad, she was misbehaving and she got consequences for that!

She needs to understand that she's not a baby and so she has to walk now, she's a big girl and at school now. You were right to do what you did and I bet she's forgotten it even by now!

She'll have forgotten by now. At home time she'll come running out with a smile on her face and be happy to walk down the hill while she tells you about her day.

She'll have forgotten by now! Trust me, there have been so many times when I've thought DD would hate me forever for whatever rubbish parenting id done that day but she always loves me regardless. Her teacher will soon bring her round

We had a bad morning like this a while ago! I was guilt ridden all day, apologised as soon as I picked her up and she couldn’t even remember what I was on about! Don’t sweat it x

It's nearly half term, school is exhausting when they first start and she's ready for the half term break

Bad mornings happen, we've all been there you did what you had too

My bet is she'll have forgotten by home time, probably within minutes of being in school to be honest

Oh my gosh, I had nearly the same morning and was coming on here to post about it. My just-5 yo DS was so slow getting ready this morning and I got really cross and shouted at him. We were late and he had to go in through the office. I gave him a big cuddle and said sorry for shouting before he went in, but he just looked so small and sad as he walked off with the receptionist. I cried all the way home and still feel awful about it. But we are only human, we can only do our best. I am planning to say sorry again when I pick him up and talk about how it makes us feel when we are rushing. At this age they are starting to be able to understand things from someone else's point of view, so explain how it is difficult with the other children and how sometimes you get impatient. I expect both of our children are happily playing by now.

Honestly, she was being a bit naughty and you did what you had to do to ensure she got to school on time. That’s more important than a few cross words or tears. Not horrible at all, sometimes there just isn’t the time for cajoling and softly encouraging, you have to implement some discipline for the greater good which you did. You did great!

You have approximately three thousand school mornings ahead of you until all your children are at big school.
Some of them will go brilliantly, most of them will be unremarkable, some will be shit.
Chat to DD about it, apologise perhaps, draw a line and move on.

We’ve all had days like this.

Just make sure you address it later, saying you’re not proud of how you spoke to her, and next time she’s got to try really really hard to walk well, and you’ll try equally hard to not talk to her harshly.
I know some posters have said she won’t remember, but that wasn’t my experience of being a child.
I’ve alwaysdone as I described above with my kids, and we have great relationships with lots of communication. They are 12 and 15.

Being late isn't actually the end of the world. You sound as though you were reacting over the top to some imaginary pressure of what a "perfect" parent does or deals with things, no one is perfect by the way.
She probably needs to get used to the walk though, but telling you to plan in more time is hardly helpful, you already know that.
I hope it's better tomorrow!

Don't beat yourself up about it. You weren't harsh, you simply did what you needed to do to get her into school.

I just think the op wanted to get her kid to school Beesandcheese and the little girl objected to walking seem d to be going well before then and kids arriving late to class does have an impact so getting to school on time is generally expected and just being a parent nothing "perfect" about it.