In a weird situation with ex

[TensAcrossTheBoard]

We haven’t been together for around 6 months but still work together so have been in contact still.

Due to our roles we have to interact at work, I can’t avoid him. It’s been ok, I found it quite hard at first (I didn’t want our relationship to end but he did so I accepted that). It was starting to get a bit easier for me but now he’s started texting me a bit outside of work.

Would I be unreasonable to ask him to stop? I’m finding it hard because I’m not completely over him yet and still have feelings for him and the extra contact is keeping those feelings there for me. I don’t want to make things awkward in work by asking him not to contact me though.

I was thinking of saying not to contact me outside of work but not saying why. I think he’d probably know why though and it might make things awkward anyway if he still thinks I have feelings for him? Or should I just suck it up and hope the feelings pass soon?

Just ignor his contact messages.
Only reply during work time.

Yeah I'd just ignore his out of work texts.

He's realising your moving on and he's trying to stop you, fuckboy

Can you perhaps give him the impression you just think it's inappropriate rather than because he is stirring up feelings? Tell him you'd like to get on as colleagues but your previous relationship means you think friendship is inappropriate and so can he confine his texts to work. Then just ignore anything from him outside of work hours.

Do you have a work phone and your own?

Delete him from your home phone; and stop looking at your work phone outside of working hours.

Tell him to stop messaging you. He didn't want to be in the relationship, he can't just text you when he feels like it to stop you moving on.

He wants to keep you on a string. Don't let him.

Tell him to stop messaging you. Why should he think it’s ok to pick you up and put you down whenever he feels like it? He’s not showing you any respect. he’s probably not getting as much sex as he thought he would. Tell him to do one.

After any break up you need to put firm boundaries in place.

Tell him that you're moving on and all you now have is a working relationship and so if it isn't in working hours, contact isn't appropriate.

He will have you dangling for months, if you don't.

If you can, relocate to a different department where you work. If this is not possible, start looking for a new job.

Is he texting you about work stuff, or stuff like mutual friend stuff, or getting flirty/personal stuff?

I think if it was the latter I’d straight up ask ‘what’s this about? You chose to end things...’

Don't ask him to do anything. Send him a text saying you will no longer be responding to messages that aren't work related or are sent outside of work hours. No need to explain either. Be pro-active.

He’s keeping you dangling, little prick. Ignore him. Only respond to him about work matters during working hours.

i wouldnt ask him to stop (would make things awkward AND feed his ego that youre not over him) i would just stop replying. if he asks why say you were busy.

Thanks everyone. I’ll try to answer all the questions.

No I don’t have a work phone, only a personal one.

He’s not texting about work, just asking how I am and what I’m up to. So you’re right he’s probably just seeing if I’m still interested in him. I’ll try to ignore the messages, I was just worried about making things awkward in work. I’ll keep things professional in work and work on separating things out a bit again.

There isn’t any option to transfer to a different department. I could look at getting a new job if I find I’m still struggling. Don’t really want to leave but will if I need to.

Things are awkward anyway.
Ignore the fucker-he is trying his luck. Wants to keep you on the hook for his own ego (and sex!)
Ignore messages, look for other jobs, and be wary about inter-work relationships. Great when they work, shit when they don't.

I’ll try to ignore the messages

Be proactive, not passive. You're perfectly entitled to tell him that you don't want him contacting outside work any more. You don't have to give him a reason.

Stop replying to him if he asks why you tell him when your home you turn the phone off as you have another one for family and friends.