To have serious anxiety about returning to work?

[DisneyMadeMeDoIt]

I’ve been signed off for 12 (ish) weeks, with HG and every other pregnancy symptom! 😭😡 - it’s been almost unbearable and I’ve been very depressed!

I had started to feel better last week and planned to return soon (work know this). However our (nightmare student) neighbours have since been awful! Leading to a sleep deprived blow up with DH (I am demanding we move to escape the student houses on either side) as I/ a new born can’t live like this!

This threw off my VERY stringent meds/food routine. So yesterday and today I’ve been really unwell again and struggling! It scares me is how strictly I have to follow it. I HAVE to eat/drink/take my meds in a certain way or I get VERY sick VERY fast! It’s a horrible ‘urgency’ to it - hunger hits me out of nowhere and if I don’t eat within minutes I’m vomiting! If I try to eat something I don’t ‘fancy’ I vomit and sometimes I don’t fancy anything...so I’m screwed!

I’m angry at myself that I got so upset but at the same time I feel like I’m a prisoner in my own body with no freedom at all! I’m anxious when I can’t manage to eat, but even more anxious when (like today) I just want to eat EVERYTHING as I’m terrified I’m gonna blow like a volcano any moment!

I thought I was getting better but I wonder if I’ve actually just gotten very good at managing it. I’m now VERY nervous about managing my ‘HAVE TO DO THIS NOW’ at the office - along side my hyper salivation (I have a spit bowl at all times), gas and exhaustion. I also worry I won’t eat for fear of vomiting in public and will make myself worse!

DH thinks going back will be ‘good for my spirits’ and help me feel less lonely/isolated - but I have SO much anxiety atm 😭 feel like I can’t justify taking more time off though!

Have you spoken to your manager about this? Would they be able to support your needs at work to enable you to return?

I can’t completely understand how your feeling. I had HG and returning to work was very worrying as I was terrified of vomiting in the office.

I kept an array of snacks on my desk to nibble on, and just continued to nibble so I’d never get hungry.

Can you go back on a phased return? Reduced hours and gradually build it back up?

I worked with someone with severe hsg. She just took herself off to be sick when she needed to. Kacknuf sleep is horrendous at the best of times, could you get some ear plugs?

@RedHelenB

I have two types of earplug - foam and silicone - they wake me up through the foam ones and the silicone gets stuck in my hair (despite tying it up) and falls out during the night. I’m also very prone to ear infections so have to be careful.