To ask you...

[starfishcoffee]

Would you be offended if somebody was to ask if you are your child's nanny?

Just happened to me. I don't know the woman - odd.

Nanny as in child minder or Nanny as in granny.
1st one no, second one yes

I’d assume she thought you were too young to be a mother.

No. I’ve mistaken nannies for mother’s and vice versa. I’ve mistaken grannies for mummies. I’ve been mistaken as my children’s granny. Don’t see why you’d be offended (though I didn’t like being mistaken for their granny obviously).

I am a nanny (not a childminder) I often ask if it’s mum or nanny.

Depends on the context, I might think different things about it but I probably wouldn't get offended.

I’d it was an odd question and would have to ask why it was being asked.

Of course, there could be unpleasant layers to the question - ie, if you are a non-native speaker of English or appear young.

No I'd just think the asker was an odd ball and then forget all about it.

Depends on where you live.Round here it would mean grandma,working class area noone has nannies or cleaners

I would be taken aback at their presumption for sure. I guess I don’t know, as it has never happened, whether I would feel offended. But I can see how someone might, especially if it was because of age, racial profiling etc.

Sorry for drip-feed.

It was the context that I found strange:

Shopping in Sainsbury's this morning with DP & DS (who looks very much like both of us) when a woman came up to the pushchair, cooed at him and proceeded to ask me if I was his nanny - taking no notice of DP who was obviously with us.

To be clear, I am a young mum but I've never had a situation like that before.

I have been asked if I was a childminder before at playgroups because I look quite young for my age, have four children and the younger 3 are very close in age.

Yea some people are just too nosy, they can't help being odd. Won't be surprised she has no self-awareness. I won't be offended, just reply, then smile and shake my head and crack on.

What did you reply and what happened next?

That’s kinda random and rude! I’m in my late 30’s I know nannies much older then that. Ppl are nosy.

My friend had this with her children. She is white, very fair skinned, red hair etc and her husband is black. Their children are a lot darker skinned than my friend, so people where she lives often assume she is the childminder! Apparently she used to get odd looks when she breastfed . But then, breastfeeding in public is wrong to some people too, so who knows what their problem is!

Anywho, I would find it a bit weird that she asked and I'd wonder why. You say it might be because you look younger and you're probably right. People do make assumptions like this.

I never say anything, as I've got it wrong once before (just in my head thank fuck) and the little boy my dd was playing with was actually with his slightly older looking mum. I thought she was a younger looking grandmother.

I was asked if I was DD's Grandmother because I "was being so nice to her" !!

Not had this but was asked while out with my DM which one of us was DD's mom! I do look quite young though.

My son is mixed race and I am white. He is actually the spitting the image of me just darker skin. Still get asked if I'm his childminder! It doesn't offend me as in make me cross but it breaks my heart a little.