Work and private life

[madcatladyforever]

AIBU
Just started a new NHS job and keep getting facebook requests from colleagues.
It's very awkward, they are all lovely but I live a very alterative lifestyle and I'm in various occult groups.
I have one professional persona at work and another life outside and never the twain shall meet.
They keep asking me if I've received their request and I don't know what to say to avoid offence.
But I like my private life to be private.
Surely I don't have to accept these requests?

Could you get away with saying ' oh I barely go on Facebook ' and just brush it off maybe ?

Well, you could always tell them the truth.

Failing that, change your settings so that you are either unsearchable or can’t be sent friend requests.

Or you could slightly alter your FB name (think 2 forenames, no surnames). Easily remedied.

Of course you don’t have to. My Facebook group consists of about 20 friends and family only. Anyone at work gets told that “I don’t really do Facebook sorry “ if they ask. Just ignore the message requests.

Just tell them that you hardly ever use FB.

I have a FB account which I look at once every couple of months or so, if that.

I had a total embargo on work colleagues. I simply explained to them that I keep Facebook purely for family, and friends who live a distance away, and that they wouldn't be missing much as I wasn't very active on it.

I've kept to that even after retirement. My private live isn't that exotic, but it's slightly non standard and I didn't want work people asking questions about my other friends. Also my work was a fairly gossipy place, and I couldn't friend some people and not others.

It's a shame, because some of my colleagues I'd worked with for a decade or more and saw as friends, but only a strict rule was ever going to be effective.

I second the above approach; just say something along the lines of "Oh I only have FB to keep in touch with a couple of distant relatives, I don't use it regularly"

Also, you can add people to your FB and section them into a different friendship group, where they won't see things that you haven't allowed them to. To look back on all your posts and change the privacy setting would be tiresome though and so I would just go with the simpler, earlier approach.

Just say ‘I don’t use it and don’t go on there’. I believe if a request is pending the requester can see your profile so you need to delete them.

I know it sounds weird (or at least I've been told it does), but I do the same.

I never add work colleagues.

Just tell them you are not on social media. Not everyone is.

I have hardly any facebook friends. People ask me to confirm their friends requests and i just tell them i dont accept anyone. I only use it to get my dd's netball club info or i miss stuff. No one seems offended. I dont think so anyway.

Say breezily say “oh I’m not on there much” IF they ask, but I doubt they will.

Make sure your privacy settings are set that you're not searchable. If you do accept them, you can give your Facebook friends different statuses... for example I have all people I work with set as acquaintances who can only view my basic profile. My settings are set that only friends (not acquaintances) can see my posts and photos.

I just say I don't have colleagues on FB.

I believe if a request is pending the requester can see your profile so you need to delete them I think that used to be the case but not anymore.

Just be totally honest. Tell them you like to keep your social media private with no work colleagues. Why make up an excuse or lie. I’m on social media but no work friends on my profiles