To ask how you deal with a partner with chronic depression?

[Wereonabearhunt]

Digging deep here cause im really struggling.
Been with DP for 11 years now - i thought itd get easier but it really doesnt. I love him a lot and he is such a great guy. But when he has his blips things are so hard.. he doesnt like talking to me (or anyone) at first, so we end up arguing even though neither of us mean it. When hes level minded hes a really incredible fiance to have, but when hes on a downer i just want to run for the hills. Does that make me terrible person?

It's hard, bloody hard, it may get easier and it may not. I've been with my husband almost 20 years and we struggle with this also. I'm afraid I have no answer for you, just a show of solidarity. I choose to stay with my dh as he's still mostly the man I married, most of the time. My biggest lesson was to learn that his mental health was not my burden to bare. I support him, listen and make allowances when I can. Other times I leave him to it and have imaginary conversation of how much a hate him. I wish he would seek professional health but he's a born cynic and loves conspiracies of which there are many around medication and therapy.

Running for the hills is a valid option, it doesn't make you a bad person. Depression, at least chronic depression, in my understanding doesn't go away, but it can be managed if the hard work is put in. There will be good days and bad days and you have a choice of whether you live with these or not. I often wonder if we didn't have children if I wouldn't leave as well if I had the strength.

Depression doesn't make someone a bad person but it does control their actions which can lead to a lot of hurt, silly arguments and regrets. Don't let his mental health issues become your own and make a conscious choice of whether to stay with him or not. Neither staying or going is easy but you need a very thick skin to stay and an understanding that this is most likely a life long issue.

Sorry, this sounds rather dark but there are good days and times. There's just dark times as well, makes you appreciate the good days more!