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AIBU?

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Divorce NI - living together impossible, can I ask him to leave?

3 replies

kimclark · 14/10/2019 16:04

Basically as the title says. Things are unbearable, it's all him. Moody, grumpy, constant fighting. Says he doesn't love me. Changes his mind when I ask him to move out. Didn't speak for an entire month of sept, not a word. It seemed to anger him more. He says I do his head in, that's all he can say about me. Then it's petty things he brings up, I don't get up when my alarm goes off, I want the car when he wants it, I think the car is just mine. I got home late from the gym, we were late for swimming, he was very angry and this was my fault we were 15 mins late to a public swim session.

I could go on but I can't be arsed anymore. He's an absolute arsehole. We can't live together. It's over. I want a divorce. He says I'm rushing it - he's the one that hates me!

Anyway, I moved to NI for him. All my family are in Scotland. I have a good job I don't to pack in without getting another job in Scotland first. I'm happy to pay the mortgage on my own while I sort work and it means he can see the toddler when he wants to. He won't go though. Refuses point blank.

Things are awful, atmosphere the wee one is picking up on, no one is happy but husband thinks this is fine and is happy being a part time dad of course. I went to Scotland at the weekend and there's not a thing done in the house. He's spent 4 days drinking, not cleaned or done a shop and he's had people in the house who I know take drugs and he's been warned not to have them in the house. I want him gone but the law says I can't make him.

Any advice for me? I didn't want to go down the route of non-molestation order coz although he is a prick and has been guilty of mental abuse I am stronger than him and I'm wise to his abuse of me. I genuinely feel he has some mental issue of his own but he's refusing all help and at this stage I'm washing my hands but don't want to be cruel

OP posts:
Streamside · 14/10/2019 17:35

Have you initiated a separation process, he's not leaving but there's no formality to the situation yet so that's not surprising.

kimclark · 14/10/2019 20:56

I suggested divorce, he said it was too early to be rushing in to that. Iv asked him to move out. If I could I would but it's last option. We live in separate rooms and don't do anything together. I don't know what else to do?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 14/10/2019 21:45

Can't you just file for divorce rather than just suggest it?

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