My contact details being shared with DS’s class

[NameChangerDanger]

DS recently started primary school. There’s a WhatsApp parents group that I’m a member of, but have no inclination to actively use.

A message has come through from one of the parents saying that it’s assumed we’re all ok with our details being compiled into a list and put into book bags

Another parent has asked what details this will include and it’s child’s full name, parent’s full name, contact number and e-mail address. It’s going to be sent out tomorrow or the next day unless people actively object.

I am really quite annoyed by this. My mobile number is obviously available via the WhatsApp group, but I haven’t given my e-mail address out to everyone on the list or given permission for this list to be created. AIBU?

List sounds a good idea. Just say you don't want your info there. alternatively make a bit stand on GDPR and be 'that parent', as you say

Branster thank you. Sometimes people are so laid back about these things but it's akin to "I don't have an problem with it. Why do you", but they've not considered any other set-up than their own! In our case I specifically wouldn't want this family member to know that a) DC are definitely in their catchment school and b) which building they're in (the campus is split across into each year in specific areas, if you know which class someone is in you won't find it hard to locate them if you get into the school because of the signs). The school staff have some sort of flag on DC's record but it wouldn't exactly be hard to sneak past some of the exit doors / trail a staff member as (for the most part) people are too trusting and friendly/assume everyone has good intentions, it's a very welcoming school. Obviously not in this case but it works for 99% of parents.

Just say you don't want to. I join all of it, but there's a family that doesn't, and the class liason just talks to them personally and passes on anything important from the whatsapp group (which is fairly strict about not spamming people too).

I wouldn't think twice about someone not wanting their details shared, seems fair enough to me.

Ugh, I remember this BS when my PFB started Reception. A piece of paper was circulated when the children went for a taster morning in the July. Everyone had written their child’s name, parent’s name, (bonus points if they’d written both parent’s names down, to prove that they were married or something 🤷‍♀️) email, home address, phone number, child’s DOB... Then someone transferred all the data to a spreadsheet and emailed it to everybody.

You know when you’re in a kind of peer pressure situation and just go along with it? Well, that’s what I did. Three years later I now know it was completely unnecessary. No one needed my home address, my phone number or my child’s fucking DOB. There was a FB group and a few emails were circulated, that’s it.

There’s no way I’ll give away all that personal info when DC2 starts school!

I totally get that for some people it is really important that their details aren't shared, but for the vast majority of parents that's not the case.

How do you go about protecting the minority when you make an assumption that everyone is in the majority? Which is essentially what an opt out arrangement does.

I think this is against data protection laws. It's personal information and there could be numerous reasons for declining. You have right to say no to this. Surely the school aren't ok-ing this?

I should add, this had nothing to do with the school. The school did not encourage the sharing of personal info and didn’t pass on any details to the class reps.

Good grief. To those saying this isn't a GDPR issue, it certainly is, and the school or anyone connected with the school cannot share any personal information unless they have express permission to do so from that person. And beforehand not as a rearguard action like it seems in this case. You can't opt out, you have to opt in.

This is also a potential safeguarding nightmare.

(I'm responsible for GDPR where I work, and also in an advisory capacity on the committee of a hobby club I belong to).

OP, your son has just started school? Distributing class/year details is VERY standard practice. In fact every class at every school my 3 have every been to have had lists that also include addresses. There are loads of emails that get sent around. Homework sheets your dc forgets to bring home, fliers for events, invitations to parties......you're dc will just be out of the loop. Physical addresses were also include so people knew where to collect their dc after playdates. I think you are over panicking about a very standard thing.

DOB was always included so people could contact each other to have joint parties with people whose dc had birthdays close together. Or coordinate so they didn't clash.

I doesn't sound like the school knew to be okaying anything why you would be needing somuch details of parents is baffiling to me but my DC are older and if there was a party or something the invites were handed out.

Wtf?! How has this happened? Who put this in book bags? Sorry, I’ve not read the whole thread but I will do. Huge hope breach.

If you don't want to share your contact info, just say so! At some schools, it is normal for one parent to be the class rep and organise things for all the class parents. It's nothing to do with the school; it's solely down to the type of parents involved. GDPR doesn't apply if the parents have all agreed to privately exchange contact info. Of course, if you don't see yourself becoming friends with the other class parents then I suppose it's best to be upfront about it.

@GoodGriefSunshine where is this standard? It’s pretty shocking and I would be massively pissed off if this happened.

Namechanger - I wasn't commenting about your particular situation but more on the deluge of people replying who don't want their details shared in case bad things like identity theft happen. I'm sure my schools will have followed proper opt-in procedures which would have been good practice even before GDPR but my point was that at least 95% of people, including some very famous people, did not have a problem sharing their details.

I’m not worried if we’re the odd ones out. Why break the habit of a lifetime? It’s worked out pretty well for DH and me

DS won’t go unnoticed or forgotten. The boy is a walking foghorn!

the sad thing is, it used to make life so much easier when class lists existed - and the parents/ carers with genuine concern were keeping clearly (and discreetly) out of it.

Nowadays, people are just being precious and ridiculous, muddle the whole issue, but sadly minimise the importance of privacy for those who REALLY need it.

Our school don't give out this information, we have to give it to the class rep if we want our details circulated. However, we've moved on from this now and are just contactable on a facebook closed class page.

You know when you’re in a kind of peer pressure situation and just go along with it?

not really, no.

I am a grown-up, if I have concerns, I have them very much in mind and know what I am doing. I am guessing if someone is being precious, they might get caught out and forgot about being precious when innocently asked. That's exactly the point.

I find it quite hilarious that parents nowadays cannot function without using social media and IT. heavens above!

We managed with scrunched up letters in the bottom of bags or a quick phone call to their best friend's mum OR we were organised, used the school newsletters and wrote the dates on a calendar.

Looks as if today's mums are the snowflake generation.

Nothing has changed that much regarding what kids and schools do (I was a teacher!) but you all make it sound like managing a Polar expedition to keep up with the events.

Sharing DOB, addresses, emails and phone nos is risky.

It can be sold to agencies who collect data and a quick trawl of the electoral roll will add to that info. Before you know it, all your info and your Dcs will be out there in a data warehouse or worse, picked up and used by hackers and scammers.

And totally agree with the previous poster goodgriefsunshine that this is totally normal for all the reasons she sets out.

If the information has come from the school, then the potential breech has to be dealt with at school level.

Dc2s school has a pretty shoddy data protection record but even they won't share parents personal information with anyone else. We managed to set up a class WhatsApp by just talking to each other and passing over our mobile number if we wanted to join. Not everyone has and that's also no problem at all. There are many reasons why people don't want to be involved from professionals not wanting to be bothered (like doctors) and those who just don't want to be.

Gosh I’m glad that my kids school doesn’t have anything like this.

For security reasons I absolutely wouldn’t want everyone having my phone number, email address & Home address for my kids given out to every parent in the class. The school know it Obvs, but I see no reason for lots of parents to have it.

If this was how we got info about stuff like parties & trips then my kids would miss out every time just becuase of their dads job. Seems totally unfair.

And it IS a GDPR issue, and whoever asked about email addresses/ yes they can be considered personal data.

I remember many years ago an enthusiastic school secretary distributing class lists including parents’ names, addresses and phone numbers. The problem was that one parent was a distinguished QC then currently
Involved in a court case which involved the highest national security issues and his whereabouts and personal details were (meant to be) a closely guarded secret.
My word, the shit hit the fan.

Well it's definitely not standard practice where our DS went to school (juniors) nor in his current senior school.

I share my details with the parents I am friendly with - I don't want every parent at the school gate contacting me. If I do, I'll provide my number for them. Why would I want contact with some random parent? And I hate this blackmailing with 'well, your child will be out of the loop' stance. If you're a class rep it's your job to ensure people are kept IN the loop and if that means you have to contact them 'off line' then that's what you sign up for. There are lots of reasons a parent may not want their details circulated - domestic abuse, child in care, non-contact by parents and the child lives with grandparents. A child in those circumstances shouldn't be left out of the loop just because a class rep can't be bothered to think of alternative ways of contacting them.

Our primary school wouldn't even allow me a list of DS's classmates for his first birthday party at the school. They put the invitations in everyone's bags for me and that was that.