To not know how to get over him?

[TreacleTrapped]

I’m in love / infatuated with / fancy / crushing on / whatever you want to call it, with a friend who I can’t be with. He’s married with children. I’ve felt this way about him for 1.5 years now and it’s just not getting any easier and not going away or burning itself out. If anything, the feelings are just getting deeper and I’m getting more frustrated and upset. I’m in my early 40s and should be better at handling this.

I have had a few things happen recently: deaths and other unexpected losses, that’s making me think that life is so short. I want to be happy. I was happy enough before I met him but I miss him every day that I’m not with him.

How do I deal with this?

Thanks.

You get a grip. Or find someone single. Married guy is taken, get over it

But how do I stop feeling this way about him?

Find someone else!

Cut the friendship

There is no magic solution to this.

You have to force yourself to find someone else.

Could it be that you're avoiding finding someone else by maintaining these feelings for him?

You're transferring your desire for happiness and stability onto this man. What you are feeling is just fantasy run amok. The truth is he could be anyone, he just happens to be someone who has a frequent presence in your life. If it weren't him, it would be someone else your subconscious picks. Stop seeing him, get a hobby, go to therapy, whatever, but start addressing the REAL issues you're dealing with.

You need to cut the chord as it’s clearly it’s causing you pain, you can’t be with him and won’t be with him so this is just a waste of energy and time that you could be putting into a relationship with someone who you could actually be with.

Go no contact with him. Completely cut him off.

Block him on everything.

Have no contact with him and look for someone else.