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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour hit DH car, denied it, then called him a dickhead. AIBU to ask what you would do now?

22 replies

Noooodles · 13/10/2019 17:48

Want to know if people would just let this slide, DH doesn’t want a fuss but I’m raging.

Heard loud revving outside, looked out of window to see a car reverse into ours (cars and parked on the street), two men get out, look at both cars, pull a grimace, get back into car and try to drive off.

DH goes out and knocks on their window asking if they’ve just hit our car (giving them a chance to own up) they deny it. He points out we’ve just seen them do it. They both get out asking him “what the fuck” his problem is. DH is very good under pressure and didn’t raise his voice or anything just stood there and said “that you’ve hit my car”. They started to shout at him “why did you park so close” and DH said he didn’t think it was too close and they could have knocked and he would have moved.

During this exchange someone gets out from the back seat and drives their car away (but not before I took a pic of the reg). They then walk off down the street shouting at DH that he’s a dickhead.

DH checked his car, the number plate is cracked. Not a big deal or expensive. He just wants a quiet life and we’re hoping to put the house on the market very soon and leave this area so he wants to leave it at that.

One of the men is a neighbours new boyfriend so we know who the offending car belongs to. The neighbour herself as always seemed nice, saying hello etc but we don’t know her. She wasn’t there so may have no idea what happened.

I want to go and speak to her, DH doesn’t want me to. I think as they did damage it we’d be within our rights to report it etc but it’s DH car so his call. WWYD?

OP posts:
BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 13/10/2019 17:51

Ring my insurer and give them their name and address, that’s all you swap anyway. I reversed into someone last year and scratched their car. I was mortified! All I needed to do was get her name and phone number and my insurance sorted the rest out.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 13/10/2019 17:51

My point is, my insurance sorted it. I didn’t need her permission and people tend to lie less to official people.

Apolloanddaphne · 13/10/2019 17:52

Report it to who though? It's not a police issue so I am guessing you could go through your insurance. But if you can't prove they did it, for the price of a new reg plate it is worth claiming?

PoshNachosButJustDoritos · 13/10/2019 17:52

If DH is saying to leave it and it's his car as you said and not much happened to it that really needs fixing (you said?) and you're about to sell the house and move, I'd leave it and sell the house in peace.

Geminijes · 13/10/2019 17:54

If it's just the number plate that's cracked and no other damage, then I would leave it. Cost of a number plate is circa. £25

As you intend to put the house on the market very soon then it's best not to enter into any dispute with your neighbour.

BananaSpanner · 13/10/2019 17:54

Option 1 report to police and provide car ref details. Don’t expect any kind of quick response unfortunately.

Option 2 approach neighbour, tell her what happened. State that her bf can either sort it privately or through insurers/police.

Option 3 let it go.

I’d probably start with Option 2 but be prepared for option 3.

Ponoka7 · 13/10/2019 17:54

You've got to leave it to him.

It isn't right to push him to do something that might stress him out.

BananaSpanner · 13/10/2019 17:55

It is a police issue as they failed essentially failed to fulfil their legal obligations at the scene of an rta. That said, I can’t see the police being able to resource it.

Original poster
Noooodles · 13/10/2019 17:56

Yes, sorry I should have been clearer, report it to our insurers. And yes, only the number plate is damaged so not a big deal.

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 13/10/2019 17:57

Actually pp are right about not developing a neighbour dispute when you are about to sell.

Original poster
Noooodles · 13/10/2019 17:59

I wouldn’t go against DH as I’m sure if it had been my car instead of his he would have deferred to me.

I’m just really pissed off with the incident. And good point about not have any disputes before selling.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 13/10/2019 17:59

The excess on the insurance would be far more than the cost of a new number plate - they didn’t hit it ver hard if that’s all the damage. I’d forget about it.

JenniferM1989 · 13/10/2019 18:04

It doesn't really matter that it will only cost £25. They caused the damage and should pay for it. Ultimately it's up to your DH though and if he doesn't want to do anything, there isn't much you can do. If you do ever talk to the neighbour though I would just tell her she won't be popular in the street if her boyfriend keeps reversing into people's cars then flouncing off and calling them dicks and not offering to pay for the damage. I tend to find people like this get through life being let off with murder because no one will ever challenge them. It's about time mouthy yobs got put in their place!

Isthisit22 · 13/10/2019 18:05

Definitely report it to your insurers with their reg.
Even if it doesn't look damaged there may be damage you can't see. I was a passenger in a car that was hit recently and although our car looked unharmed, something has crumpled underneath and needed to be replaced

thecatneuterer · 13/10/2019 18:13

I would do absolutely nothing. If you report it then it will come up as an accident when you next need to insure the car (even though it's not your fault) and will put your premiums up, even if you have protected no claims. It happened to me when my car was crushed by a bin lorry while it was parked. It affected my insurance for some time.

For the cost of a number plate it really isn't worth either the agro or the probable insurance cost.

Original poster
Noooodles · 13/10/2019 18:14

@ JenniferM1989 that pretty much sums up about how I feel about it. People get away with stuff because they aren’t challenged.

However, as most have posters have said, we’re hopefully moving soon and it’s DHs call and he says leave it I’ll leave it officially. I may well say exactly what you’ve commented to her if I run into her anytime soon though.

I think what’s made me angrier about it than I’d normally be is that DH has been very quiet since. Its really upset him. He’s a very nice person and is always shocked when people are complete arseholes to him. Where as I am a cynical person and am rarely surprised (although I still get angry) at how twattish people can be.

OP posts:
Geneva1995 · 13/10/2019 18:37

for just a cracked number plate it probably isn’t worth going through your insurance. It’s just the principle is so bloody annoying and rude! I would speak to tour neighbour OP so she knows what kind of person her new bf is! Not fair he gets away with it

RandomFactor · 13/10/2019 18:48

For a cracked number plate, it's just not worth the hassle, especially if you're looking to move house.

If you were the sort that bears grudges, you could always wait six month or so after you've moved house, and pop back one night and puncture all their tyres... Not that I'd condone that sort of response.

Kerberos · 13/10/2019 18:50

Might affect your insurance cost if you report it.

redcarbluecar · 13/10/2019 18:53

Would possibly let this go to avoid stress. However shitty and unreasonable these people are, it wasn’t done deliberately (I assume) and probably won’t happen again. It sounds like your DH handled it well.

flouncyfanny · 13/10/2019 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

recrudescence · 13/10/2019 18:55

Fix the damage yourself and concentrate on moving. You can always come back and key their car at a later date.

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