Should I accept this job?

[Digitalash]

I've been offered a job, it's a job in a field I've been trying to get into for over 12 months but have struggled due to a lack of experience so ideally don't want to turn it down but it's a full time position.

I'm a single mum to a 2 and a half year old, she currently goes to a child minder 3 days a week but now will have to go 5 days 8-5. I have no one at all who can help (my parents still work, her dad isn't involved etc.)

I'm really worried my child is going to like the child minder more than me. It isn't even a very well paid position but in a few years should be decent and with the increased child care costs and petrol costs we aren't even going to be any better off.

Should I take the job? Will my child hate me for it? What would you do? I'm trying to think of the future but I just keep thinking about my poor child thinking I've abandoned her something

YABU for I shouldn't take the job
YANBU for I should take the job

Take it! sounds like a great opportunity

Thought I turned on voting sorry

Sorry I voted before I read what each stood for! Yes 100% take the job you are working for yours and your daughters future you must 100% take the job. Your daughter will always love you and you’re setting a great example to her

I wouldn’t, not if you weren’t going to be better off. I’d stay part time until my child was in ft education if I could

Don't worry about her liking the childminder more than you. She'll like her teacher more than you when she starts reception and will pontificate upon all the things Mrs Jones says at great length. She'll like a new kitten more than you. She'll like the horrible child three doors down and her even more horrid mother more than you.

It's what kids do. But when it comes down to it, you're her Mummy, you're the one who loves her, who makes her feel safe, who tucks her in at night who will always be there for her when she genuinely needs it and puts a roof over her head, food in her tummy and clothes on her back.

Take the job. You have the opportunity, so take it.

You need to be positive about the childcare. If your daughter sees you getting weepy and anxious and fretting about her not being abandoned then she will get upset. If you approach it calmly and positively she will be fine.

Can you do that?

She's not going to hate you. Those are your own insecurities and anxieties speaking, not reality.

I worked full time from 8m until 2.5y and there is no way my son liked nursery better than me! It's hard work and you will miss her but she will know who mummy is. It was probably a little easier for me as I did long shifts so I had more days with him but he was still desperate to stay up late and see me every night.
Be prepared for a wee while to settle for both of you. I also was more likely to take my DS into bed with me after a nursery day as we both missed each other and enjoyed being close.

If you’ve been trying to get into the field for 12 months, take it! It’s about your and your DC future.

Thank you everyone for the reassurance

Another vote for take the job. It's totally normal to have these wobbles as well.

Definitely take the job, it’s a foot in the door and you never know when another chance will come along.

Both of my children have been in full time child care since they were one year old, first a childminder, then nursery, then wraparound school clubs and holiday clubs. They still know I’m their mum. DD is a bit young to tell yet but DS definitely learned a good work ethic from watching his mum work hard and has told me he thinks I’ve been a great mum so I must have done something right!

Take the job! You've tried for a year for this, you may not be better of right this very second, but this should open doors. If you find it's not working you can always leave. Don't allow yourself to wonder 'what if?'.

OP, I am a sibgle mum, no support and my dd went to nursery 8 am to 6pm from 6months old.

She adored her key worker, and sometimes called me her name instead of Mummy and vice versa.

I had the same fears as you. She is in year 1 now, still in child care full time, but she is doing well, happy and the bond between us is strong.

Best of luck - take the job.

Thank You madameJosephine and glovesick (and everyone else) it's very reassuring to know you've done it and worked out well

Your child will never love the childminder as much as you! Speaking from experience, my 4 yo dd has been full time since she was 1, she adores her carers but I'm her only mummy. She looks forward to seeing me at the end of each day, and our weekend days but understands I have to work and she has to go to childcare. Your dd will grow up understanding how the real world works and looking forward to the wonderful quality time you get to spend together when you aren't teaching her that life doesn't come for free

I'm a childminder and I promise your child will never love anyone as much as you.

I have a couple of children 4 days per week (I don't work 5) and they adore their parents. They love showing them what they have done each day, they love telling me about the things they've done with mummy and daddy. I will warn you that your childminder will find out things you (and they) never want to know 😁