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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my judgement clouded

21 replies

Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 09:21

Wondering if I’m being unreasonable because of my dislike for certain parties involved!

Scenario:
Wife dies leaving husband and 3 adult children.

Prior to death wife gets all affairs in order and grants daughter POA.
Wife invests all money so husband receives a generous monthly income but has no access to the capital as he’d blow the lot and wife wanted to ensure he had enough for however long he lived.

Once he passes estate will be divided among the 3 children.

Husband has no income of his own.

Husband remains living in the house owned by the couples eldest son.

Eldest son behind other children’s backs went to the financial planner to try and release capital to pay off the mortgage on the home his father lives in to allow him to live rent free.

There are tax incentives for him not having this mortgage anymore as he lives overseas.

The reduction of capital will also reduce the income the husband gets so whilst living ‘rent free’ he wouldn’t really be better off.

Is this cheeky of eldest son or is my take clouded?!

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 13/10/2019 09:23

Very unfair of the eldest Son and it wasn't his Mother's intentions for this to happen.

Mileymileymoomoo · 13/10/2019 09:33

From your post it sounds like the son's house which the father is living in is separate from the assets left by the wife. The son owns the house with a mortgage and the father lives in the house and pays rent from the income he receives from the wife's investments.

If so, the son is not being cheeky to want to arrange his own affairs as he wishes.

But he is being cheeky trying to access the wife's assets to do so.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 09:35

Yes son’s house totally separate from wife’s estate.

Son owns several properties as investments and his parents lived in one.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 13/10/2019 09:37

Son is an arsehole.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 09:40

Haha, thank you pinkyredrose.

OP posts:
Jeezoh · 13/10/2019 09:42

So was the son trying to access the capital he shouldn’t get until the husband dies - presumably to get his share? I’d say that’s cheeky - the wife left instructions on how her estate was to be divided and it seems clear the three children wouldn’t get anything until the husband dies. I hope the financial planner told the son to bog off!

JudgeRindersMinder · 13/10/2019 09:44

Son is bang out of order. He wants to use his mother’s estate to pay off HIS mortgage

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 09:50

So was the son trying to access the capital he shouldn’t get until the husband dies - presumably to get his share?

Yes that’s exactly what he was doing.

FA did tell him no thankfully. Just worried he’ll try and bully the sister into letting him get his way.

All this was before the funeral had even happened!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 09:51

He wants to use his mother’s estate to pay off HIS mortgage

Yes, under the guise of helping his father.

OP posts:
Jeezoh · 13/10/2019 09:54

But it’s not the children’s money until the husband dies as presumably the will stipulates the money is the husbands until he dies, just not accessible to him as a lump sum. I’d presume that’s legally binding but am no legal expert!

Thehop · 13/10/2019 09:56

Sneaky fucker son

Jeezoh · 13/10/2019 09:57

And what would happen if the son paid off the mortgage then decided the husband couldn’t live there any more? He’d have reduced income and no rent-free accommodation to make up for the drop in money.

Passthecherrycoke · 13/10/2019 10:00

I’ve read this the same as miley.

-son owns mortgaged house dad lives in

  • dad pays rent
  • wife put assets in a trust which earns an income that dad lives off
  • when dad dies children get the trust

In this case how could it be possible the son could access the trust early? It’s not his

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 10:05

And what would happen if the son paid off the mortgage then decided the husband couldn’t live there any more? He’d have reduced income and no rent-free accommodation to make up for the drop in money.

Exactly, but we were more thinking, what if the husband couldn’t live there for other reasons.

What if he needs to go into long term care?

OP posts:
MrsMaiselsMuff · 13/10/2019 10:15

Is the father bad at managing money, was he in agreement with the original investment? Was it solely his wife's whilst she was alive?

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 10:17

The father is incapable of managing money. Yes it was the wife’s.

Had the wife not invested well previously they would not have had a pot to piss in in their retirement.

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 13/10/2019 10:49

But the son won’t be able to access the capital. Surely he’ll be told that and that’s the end of it? It won’t happen

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 13/10/2019 10:55

But the son won’t be able to access the capital. Surely he’ll be told that and that’s the end of it? It won’t happen

Can only hope.

The husband isn’t in the UK so not sure exactly on the legal position.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sexnotgender · 14/10/2019 07:16

Thank you for confirming it is indeed a sneaky dick move by eldest son!

OP posts:
ClairParavel · 14/10/2019 07:45

I’m sorry I don’t quite get this. The concern is that the son will charge dad rent and dad will have to use the income to pay this?
Or that he is trying to use mums capital (set aside) to pay off his mortgage on house dad lives in?
If first, that’s ok. If second very cheeky.

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 14/10/2019 07:48

It's the second.

Son owns property and is trying to get at the capital his mum left to pay off his own mortgage.

OP posts:
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