To ask if you continued a relationship after partner cheating

[OrangeNC2019]

Posting for traffic

Every time I read a thread on here where op partner has cheated the comments are always that's the end, ltb, trust is gone etc. But some people do go back. So, those who've tried to make it work after a partner has cheated, has it worked out and you've come out happy the other side? Has anyone ever got over it, trusted and be happy again? Does it just drag out the separation in a paranoid unhappy relationship?

Not been in the situation but my DM has. She never got the trust back and resents DF to this day.

I think a lot of people stay for lots of reasons but whether they trust again and are truly happy again is a very different matter. Lack of financial independence stops lots of women leaving when they may have done had it happened at an early stage in the relationship pre children.

It happened to me about 10 years ago - he cheated in the early days of our relationship - and although we broke up for a short time we got back together and we're still together.

I still think about it occasionally and I don't trust him 100%, probably 95%. That 5% means I make sure I can protect myself if things go wrong in the future (e.g. having funds to be self-sufficient if needed). That sounds very negative, we mostly have a great relationship but I would be lying if I didn't admit that it is a (very very small) feature of our relationship

I tried to but I couldn’t get past it. I was constantly paranoid and insecure that he’d do it again, everytime his phone went I was worried it would be another woman. The trust was gone and it was too painful to rebuild, so I ended things. I couldn’t have carried on in that state.

I did but it was never the same to be fair. Looking back now I should never of gone back but although we moved forward and I felt like I did get over it. Our relationship was never serious in my eyes anymore. It was more enjoying his company which I soon got over and walked from.

I’ve quite recently (within the last 18 months) gone back after my oh was disloyal. To be totally honest, I still don’t really know how I feel or whether our relationship will survive. I don’t know if I can get that trust back; it all still feels like early days and we’re still working through issues which have stemmed from the way he betrayed me.

I’ll be watching this thread with interest.

For everyone dealing with the pain caused by infidelity 💐

Yes.
It was completely the right decision for me to give him another chance.

I did. Then he accused me of cheating on him and slapped me across the face. Relationship ended pretty quickly.

In all honesty I didn’t get over him cheating anyway, although the relationship was so toxic, and I was drowning in emotional abuse (not that I recognised it). Afterwards Whenever he was working, I was sure he was flirting, if he was out, id be convinced he was cheating.

I did with a previous DP. Would never do it again.

A friend of mine’s husband cheated on her when they had one young child. She was going to leave him, the house was on the market etc but when it took a long time to sell she had a change of heart and they decided to make a go of it. They’ve since had a second child and as far as I know (I don’t see her as much as I used to) are a happy family. I personally wouldn’t have been able to forgive him for it though.

Yes, but only because we had just brought a house and had gutted it out so was living with in-laws. Our DC was 6nths old. I felt defeated, I could muster up the strength, plus I was so shocked he’d cheated. Literally floored.

In a strange way, it’s liberating. It taught me that I had no control whatsoever about his cheating. I was a good wife, mother, attractive, indecent but he still cheated on me. I don’t worry about him doing it again because I couldn’t stop him.

Independent not indecent ffs!