To ask how to cope better with relationships ending?

[MrCellophane]

I always end up being a mess.

I see people on here saying anyone can decide to leave a relationship and don’t need to explain why or consider the other persons feelings. I feel like I’m always the annoying person who wants to know why it’s ended, I ask for chances to talk things through or give things a chance to try and work it out.

Even when I’m told no, I still ask. The worst couple of relationships I’ve still asked months later. Not constant messages but I know I’m probably being annoying and harass people a bit and I want to change that.

I just feel like I lose it a bit and let the emotions take over, I blame myself so think that’s part of the problem. I end up thinking if they still want to be with me then there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me.

How do I get better at coping with this? What do people do when relationships end and you don’t want it to? I want to just be able to have it end, feel sad without involving the other person and be able to move on. How do I do that?

What do people usually do when a relationship ends. Just say thanks for letting me know and start trying to move on?

Hi OP, Unfortunately I have no advice- however I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone.
I often see posts on here about people leaving their partners, and I wish I could of done that myself a few times!
I’m in a happy relationship now, and living with my partner, although I will admit I’ve asked previous partners for another chance, even when I’ve been cheated on!
I have had a fair few unfaithful partners-each time I would tell them it was over and within an hour we’d be apologising and having a cuddle. My previous relationship was emotionally abusive, sometimes he would lock me out and leave his key in the door so I couldn’t get in if I was later home from work than usual-I would sit outside until he let me in, and then apologise for being late.

I’ll not make my post a long one, but I like to think that with the experience comes the ‘bravery’ and learning to be happy with being alone is the first step.