To ‘dislike’ the school mums in my daughters class.

[GADA9215]

I have two DC, 8&4 both with additional needs (which isn’t obvious unless you know me or DC well so not sure this is the reason) The parents in my sons year group are incredible. I’ve known the majority since they were pre school age when we moved to the area and they’ve always been lovely and welcoming. I’ve never became friends with any of them as such but chat with the vast majority of them given the chance and they always have the time for DS for which I am grateful.

Then there’s DD’s year group parents. Again I’ve known a lot of them since they started Pre school age 2 (not all of them as DD only went pre school 2 days a week but at least some) and the majority of them are awful. So cliquey, think they are so perfect. They meet up for play dates.

Tonight I have found out there is a fb group for the parents. I am fb friends with a few of them (Unsure why when they blank me on the school run) and not one of them have added me to it. I feel kinda betrayed.

I am always stood in the playground alone waiting for them to come out. When I did pick up from DS’s classroom I got on with everybody but now I’m just alone which doesn’t necessarily bother me but I feel like they are so cliquey and I just want to go back to the junior side to do pick up Again 🤣

Urgh
Please don’t get wound up by these people. Generally you probably wouldn’t have entertained them in any other circumstance, it’s only because you have children in the same school.
I always find its best to stay away and out of the drama. In and out the playground, not fussed with anyone!

Perhaps its because you think they're cliquey and think that they think they're perfect... that may be why you havent been added?

Perhaps they pick up on the negative vibes you send?

Is there a particular reason you think they think they're perfect? What have they done to warrant that opinion of them?

And if you feel this way about them, why on earth do you care if they've added you to a Facebook group or not?

So when you get into the playground, smile and say hello to everyone what happens? Do they all ignore you?

Please don’t let this get to you. I have experienced this on many occasions. I honestly think it Feels sometimes like a form of bullying. Well that is how I felt on occasions. I have seen lots of clicky groups. Gym together , coffee mornings and play dates. I also also seen karma bite a lot of them too. When kids fall out and so the parents do too. Stay away. They are not friends and trust me you are not missing out. Best wishes. .

Op I am the same really, I get on with the mums in my eldest child’s class but found the mums in my youngest’s class much more like hard work. I think I am partly to blame though because I didn’t put as much Effort in to talk to people second time round, could it be like that for you? Also 2 years later and I do chat to most of them, several parties later you get to know people individually and that can help you to go and talk to a ‘cliquey’ group. At the end of the day though it doesn’t really matter and you don’t really need to make friends. I just like to chat to people while I am waiting for dc to come out.

Why are you even giving them any head space?
Take your child to school then leave. There is no law to say that you have to speak to anyone, nor to join daft groups.

I posted a while ago about mums at my daughters school.

I'm not in any groups. Get ignored by the cliques.

Fuck em. That was the advice I got from here.

I took it.

I just breeze in and breeze out with my head held high. Sometimes in a hoodie, jeans and flip flops and sometimes in a suit.

I work from home and see customers sometimes.

Can clearly see them talking about me.

They can't work me out. I no longer have any fucks to give. I tried to talk to them.

They were not welcoming. They even blank me at out of school birthday parties 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️.

I have one mum I've known since I was four, she's not always there, one mum whose relatives live next door to my mum.

Headphones are your friend

I am not so popular either and thats cos I simply don;t give a toss about them! whoops sorry but not sorry..the mums get no head space with me I don;t have times to play the games they try to! Bugger em OP ..life is so much easier without them in the way!!

These are people you see for ten mins twice a day.

They bring nothing to your life.

Get a good audio book or download a good podcast.

Fuck em op.

Xxx

Same thing. I have a 2 year age gap between my dds. Eldest lovely parents. Get on great. Youngest - parents totally blank me! All talk to each other. I stand alone. They're all much younger than me too even though in dd1s group I'm around the same age as all the parents. And I only had Dd2 2 years later. I am trying to ignore it too.

Thanks all. I am annoyed with not being involved in the group because parents are using it to look for missing items etc, info about school trips, homework etc. It was made whilst they are still in Pre-school and I didn’t know until tonight.

My problem is that I have spoken to these mums before, even had conversations with some of them yet they now ignore me despite me often saying hello politely I am a nice person (I think), I try and be kind to everyone and I always give a smile and a hello to a mum who’s looking a bit lost in the playground.

I think it’s strange how there’s 3 children with additional needs in the class (mine being one) and none of the 3 parents are on the group despite it being a school village and everyone knowing each other pretty much. Also, there’s another parent missing - a parent of a little boy who seems to be a bit of a handful. I might be over thinking it. But it’s a pretty snobby place and it seems like if your children don’t fit in the norm, you aren’t included. Parenting a child with additional needs can be incredibly lonely.

I don’t want to be friends with them but I just feel like a spare part.

Then again, I am an over thinker... maybe I’m over thinking it. But I’ve always considered myself a very approachable person...

It’s not all the parents. A few of them seem nice (these few tend to be on the sidelines too) just the majority seem stuck up!

Op I could of written your post except I have one child with no additional needs.

They just don't like me. They talked to me fleetingly at nursery. Three years on they blank me.

No reason. No idea why.

Really. Fuck them. They are not kind people.

Plus if you do get accepted into the "group" you run the risk of getting kicked out. Did you read that thread recently about K CA etc or whatever their initials were?

Have they just not forgotten to add you? Never attribute to malice what could be incompetence! I'm part of a mum group where invariably someone gets left off email invitations. A different person each time! Nobody takes offense and someone always realises and adds them back in at some point in the email conversation - it's just really easy to inadvertently miss people out. Why not just ask to join the group...

The parents at ds primary school were like that, most of them spent most of their time just about licking each other's bums. The bitching & whispering, the dirty looks. I just used to sit in my car until a couple of minutes before the doors opened & spent as little time as possible in the playground & avoided them as much as possible, if I had to be there early, I put my ear buds in so I didn't have to listen to their catty comments.