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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think don't keep taking my drink at work?

896 replies

openitsoicanseeyousmile · 12/10/2019 15:34

I'm known to bring a can of drink in everyday for lunch. It's kept in the shared fridge at work - Everyone knowns it's mine as there's a little section box for each person with their name on.

A colleague of mine is pregnant and for the third time has taken my drink and not bothered replacing it. When questioned, she says something along the lines of "Sorry! Bad sickness. This helps. I'll get a new one for you tomorrow".

She always does, it's there the following day. But it means having to go out at lunchtime to get another one. The local shop is only 2 minutes away but it means eating up time I don't have since I have 30 minutes lunch.

I'm really not sure how to go about it. If it was the usual person, I'd tell them to stop the cheek and buy their own to bring in! But she's pregnant and suffering from sickness. I had HG with my son so I feel awful at the thought of telling her she can most certainly never take from me again without asking Sad

I remember the horrendous feeling of needing something sweet and fizzy to curve the sickness and it did often help, so I imagine it's very helpful to her.

Perhaps I should buy a multipack and suggest she goes half's so we can both enjoy them during the week? Or is this too doormat like?

I'm really not sure how to go about it. I don't think she thinks she's being cheeky in the slightest, and is an otherwise lovely colleague.

What would you do? I usually have no issues being assertive but I feel as if the lines have been blurred.

OP posts:
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PlacidPenelope · 12/10/2019 19:36

Hi Sharon, please would you stop taking my drinks from the fridge? Sorry to sound petty but I like a fizzy drink with my lunch and I often go without because you have them instead. I hope I'm not sounding snappy! Happy to take it in turns to buy a multipack of them weekly"

Far too nice, open, you should have ended your message at instead. You will find yourself out of pocket, you will be the only one buying the multipacks. I guarantee your colleague will drink far more cans of drink than you and will always take the last one leaving you without anything to drink.

Jesus, I'm getting irrationally angry and far too over invested in this thread Grin Me too, Worra, I'd like one of the posters who are telling the OP to spend her money buying drinks for her pregnant colleague for however many months of her pregnancy she is at work for to explain why they expect the OP to do that.

LagunaBubbles · 12/10/2019 19:40

Why on earth are some people saying to buy her drinks from a multipack? She's pregnant, not physically incapable of going to a shop and buying herself a drink. This is ridicolous!

LagunaBubbles · 12/10/2019 19:40

And your message is far too nice OP.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 12/10/2019 19:48

I honestly can't believe all those telling op to buy more pop for the cheeky fucker and keep her stocked up until she fucks off on maternity leave.
Why on earth should op spend her own bloody money on the cheeky mare?!!!

You lot are so passive you must have footprints on your foreheads from people walking all over you.

If the CF had approached the op and said "do you mind if I drink your pop as I feel sick now but I will go buy more on my lunch break" then op agreed, that would have been kind.

Rewarding bad behaviour by keeping the CF topped up is ridiculous.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 12/10/2019 19:52

Your message should have been

" Hi Sharon, stop taking my drinks out of the work fridge as they are part of my lunch. If you need them so often you can buy your own multi pack. Op"

SunshineAngel · 12/10/2019 19:59

It's all very well perhaps doing it once, if the sickness took her by surprise, but she should ask, not just take. I absolutely cannot stand people who just take things that aren't theirs. I mean, do they think we buy them just for the fun of it? So the item can enjoy a day in the office fridge? No! Funnily enough, we bring them because WE want to consume them at some point!

Buy one of those lock boxes for the fridge, with the combination lock on, so then nobody can take your things haha. Or, keep said box under your desk, and put an ice pack in it to keep your things cool.

People who use pregnancy as an excuse to get away with underhand shit do my head in. It's not like pregnancy is a rare phenomenon that they alone are victim of.

HauntedPinecone · 12/10/2019 20:01

Yeah, I'm with Worra. Fuck the long winded bollocks. Buy your own drinks. Who gives a fuck she's pregnant???

Fantababy · 12/10/2019 20:05

If she is lovely, I'd buy the multipack. Hopefully she'll take the hint and reciprocate. It's nice to be nice.

Fookadook · 12/10/2019 20:07

If she can buy you a replacement from the shop, she can buy her own. Hmm

PlacidPenelope · 12/10/2019 20:22

If she is lovely, I'd buy the multipack. Hopefully she'll take the hint and reciprocate. It's nice to be nice.

Yes it's nice to be out of pocket paying for someone else's drinks for months on end, lovely indeed.

openitsoicanseeyousmile · 12/10/2019 20:26

Update - She's replies with Oh, sorry. Didn't know I'd caused any offence. Thought it would be okay since I know you know I've had some nausea catching me off guard and you suffered with sickness. Guess I'll just bring a bottle in to have instead. Sorry if I've upset you, I thought you'd be ok with it since you regularly bring yummy treats for everyone to share!

I'm a bit confused at her response since I did have horrendous HG with my son but I couldn't keep a thing down and certainly didn't take people's lunch items. I suppose I do regularly bring bits in for everyone to share but they're left on the staff kitchen table and aren't in my personal tray in the fridge Confused

I just replied with "No worries, see you Monday! Have a lovely weekend"

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 12/10/2019 20:30

wow she's very passive aggressive huh... Hmm

well done OP... Flowers

PlacidPenelope · 12/10/2019 20:32

Brass neck personified and good try to put it all back on you for not being nice and understanding enough. Why did she think you'd be okay with her drinking your drinks without asking and you only finding out it was her when you saw her drinking it? Some people really have no concept of their own entitled behaviour.

IndefatigableMouse · 12/10/2019 20:32

Her reply is infuriating but your response is prob the right way to go!

Who on earth thinks they can so brazenly steak someone’s stuff?

PlacidPenelope · 12/10/2019 20:36

But well done for challenging her and getting a resolution open. I'm smirking at that poor little me I guess I'll just bring a bottle in to have instead, yes dear that's exactly what you should do and should have done all along instead of helping yourself to someone else's drinks or expecting them to provide for you.

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 12/10/2019 20:36

Ooh that was pretty passive aggressive. Oh well. It's done now and she should hopefully stop stealing stuff and replacing them at a time that suits her and not the owner.

NoSquirrels · 12/10/2019 20:41

Well, your message was nice, and generous offering to share a multipack, and hers was designed to make you feel bad...

NoSquirrels · 12/10/2019 20:44

Guess I'll just bring a bottle in to have instead.

“Instead”.

Yes, indeed. “Instead” of stealing!

CathyorClaire · 12/10/2019 21:00

She's shameless isn't she? Shock

But anyway hopefully her sticky fingers will be a lot less gummy from now on.

MrsSiba · 12/10/2019 21:03

What a CF.

I would still keep your can in a cool bag at your desk.

Be prepared on Monday for her to say, 'oh I forgot to bring a bottle in. Must be baby brain. Do you mind if I have yours? You having had nausea so can understand.....'

Practise saying it now OP.......NO (fuck off).

giantwatermelon · 12/10/2019 21:17

This is sooooo rude. I couldn't imagine taking someone else's food/drink like that no matter what the excuse! She must have baby brain bad Grin

MariahDontCarey · 12/10/2019 21:23

Pfft. You've definitely done the right thing with both of your messages. If she's suffering with morning sickness, a lot of us have been there and it isn't nice, but I don't know anyone who has had to steal people's drinks Confused. At least, if I ever genuinely HAD to do this, I'd have asked first and then bought my own to keep stashed away.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2019 21:25

Oh, sorry. Didn't know I'd caused any offence

She's doing that PA thing whereby she's accusing you of being 'offended', so she doesn't have to admit she was completely in the wrong.

Gustavo1 · 12/10/2019 21:31

That’s not a nice reply. She should be mortified and acknowledge that she had been a pregnant monster and offering to provide the multipacks for a week or two!
Sod it! Job done, point made. You could pop a label or something on yours next week but that might look a bit PA when you’re just being assertive really.
Sorry she’s caused this situation for you OP. It’s really unfair of her Smile

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 12/10/2019 21:32

Possibly hormones talking but I rather like the sound of Stop stealing my lunch you scavenging cunt.

But then I'm both possessive and hormonal so it may be wise to listen to others Grin

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