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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think don't keep taking my drink at work?

896 replies

openitsoicanseeyousmile · 12/10/2019 15:34

I'm known to bring a can of drink in everyday for lunch. It's kept in the shared fridge at work - Everyone knowns it's mine as there's a little section box for each person with their name on.

A colleague of mine is pregnant and for the third time has taken my drink and not bothered replacing it. When questioned, she says something along the lines of "Sorry! Bad sickness. This helps. I'll get a new one for you tomorrow".

She always does, it's there the following day. But it means having to go out at lunchtime to get another one. The local shop is only 2 minutes away but it means eating up time I don't have since I have 30 minutes lunch.

I'm really not sure how to go about it. If it was the usual person, I'd tell them to stop the cheek and buy their own to bring in! But she's pregnant and suffering from sickness. I had HG with my son so I feel awful at the thought of telling her she can most certainly never take from me again without asking Sad

I remember the horrendous feeling of needing something sweet and fizzy to curve the sickness and it did often help, so I imagine it's very helpful to her.

Perhaps I should buy a multipack and suggest she goes half's so we can both enjoy them during the week? Or is this too doormat like?

I'm really not sure how to go about it. I don't think she thinks she's being cheeky in the slightest, and is an otherwise lovely colleague.

What would you do? I usually have no issues being assertive but I feel as if the lines have been blurred.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
cabbageking · 15/10/2019 23:14

Shake

Breathlessness · 15/10/2019 23:25

Shake the crap out of it.

WellardAvocado · 15/10/2019 23:44

I think you need to keep your can in your handbag in a tinnie cooler. Something like one of these;

www.auntycate.com/pretty-fkn-expletives/drinkware/?sort=newest

Waveysnail · 16/10/2019 00:44

Crikey. Just read to end of this. Pregnant woman is a bit unhinged. For love of goodness. Cool bag the drink or find something with high caffine levels

BlackCatSleeping · 16/10/2019 01:02

Wow! Yes, she really does not play fair. I'm afraid I would wuss out at this point and just get an ice pack and mini cool bag and keep my lunch in my bag. I think you need to be careful with how you handle her as she is not above manipulating everyone against you. I wouldn't be surprised if she raised a grievance against you for bullying, even though obviously you haven't done a thing wrong.

ZacharyQuack · 16/10/2019 01:31

Can you get a lunchbox big enough to hold your food and the drink can? Then you can put that in the fridge and she'd have to open your lunchbox to remove the can. It would be good if the lunchbox was opaque so that it's not obvious that there's a drink inside and you can add a nice passive aggressive note to say please do not steal my lunch. That means if she continues to help herself to your drink you can go to HR because she's now opening your lunchbox and removing items.

If that doesn't deter her, you'll need to look at the cool bag option for the next couple of months until she leaves. You shouldn't bloody have to, but she's obviously decided that she has some sort of entitlement to your lunch so she's going to keep on stealing it.

ObtuseTriangle · 16/10/2019 02:36

I think she was trying to goad you into either loosing it in front of the rest of the office or looking mean that would wouldn't give a sick pregnant woman your drink. By saying yes her theory back fired but she had to continue with her sickness farce.

I do like the idea of shaking the can up but I think for the next few days I would just nip to the shop and buy a can at lunchtime.

smugmug · 16/10/2019 03:06

@openitsoicanseeyousmile having read your last update I would now say that she is clearly bullying you , this needs to go to management as a complaint ASAP

herbie01 · 16/10/2019 04:27

You need to outsmart her.
I'm 13 weeks pregnant and wouldn't dream of stealing someone's drink (repeatedly!) and playing the victim about it - no matter how strong my cravings or sickness was!
I'd suggest either the cold bag under your desk, go out and buy a drink each day (although cheaper to get multipack tham buy singly i know), lunch bag in fridge, beat her to the fridge each lunchtime, or simply go without the drink at lunch so that it's not there to steal. (Going without sucks for you - but if you cut off the supply what's she going to do, make a scene that you aren't bringing in drinks for her to steal?)
Yes, you should be able to leave your lunch in the fridge without it being taken, but she clearly has no intention of acting with integrity and professional courtesy.
Unfortunately I've found males responsible for HR that can deal with emotional and/or pregnant females in a calm and fair manner when they are being CFs seem to be few and far between - as soon as any sort of waterworks or minor hysterics start they back off and do whatever it takes to get her out of his office asap - which results in a "win" for said female. So unless your boss deals with HR issues well I'm not sure I'd count on him to follow through.
She will keep taking advantage of you as long as she can - she's shown she won't respond to a reasonable request so trying to talk to her won't do anything - she'll keep playing victim and play this pregnancy for all she can.

Clutterbugsmum · 16/10/2019 06:50

Have you got a bigger lunch box that you can put your drink into, so she can not see it.

For someone who 'needs' fizzy drinks to stop her 'pregnancy' symptoms she really needs to make sure she has her own.

Mephisto · 16/10/2019 07:18

The cool box suggestions are becoming tiresome now. I’m sure at nearly 700 posts that everything has already been suggested now.

FizzyIce · 16/10/2019 07:21

@Mephisto so why doesn’t op just use one then ?
Surely it would cut out all this crap?

sueelleker · 16/10/2019 07:22

Don't know if you'd have room for one of these?www.<a class="break-all" href="https://amazon.co.uk/lockable-box-fridge/s?k=lockable%20box%20fridge&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-3715741-to-think-don-t-keep-taking-my-drink-at-work" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazon.co.uk/lockable-box-fridge/s?k=lockable+box+fridge

Mephisto · 16/10/2019 07:27

@FizzyIce I suspect because that’s what the Pregzilla wants

ptumbi · 16/10/2019 07:33

Colleague said couldn she just have it since she's not very well and there's a baby involved? - how well do you know the colleague, OP? Could she be 'in on it'?

Or, if colleague is nice, and unwittingly aiding in the stealing from you, could you have a word (Ask if there was nothing else in the fridge she could have offered?!!!) as you feel that your drink is being taken every day for pregnant CF. And you are getting sick of it and have even asked Pregnant CF to stop, but she won't.

And then talk to your boss/manager/team leader.

(And then get a cool bag! I would have done this from the outset and you haven't really explained why you haven't. Or give up fizzy drinks for your own health.)

BatshitBertha · 16/10/2019 07:41

I honestly would not be playing these games with her, I also would not be involving management (I think this would be very unprofessional) She has taken this to ridiculous levels.

If I were you I'd be keeping my lunch and drink in a cooler bag under my desk, thus solving the problem and not giving her the satisfaction of any more games.

I think there's something not quite right about this woman, I'd steer well clear of the crazy.

MzHz · 16/10/2019 07:42

Op needs to speak to HR and calmly explain what’s happening here. This could go tits up big style for BOTH the company AND OP if this situation isn’t settled now.

Basically the pg woman is using her “condition” to take things from others without permission and is now using drama to get others to take drinks from the op. Enough had been said, enough time has elapsed to give the pg woman more than enough time and information for her to get her own supplies, and to know that what she’s doing is completely out of order.

Work needs to make sure pg woman knows to bring her own supplies if that’s what she needs

Op, if you don’t speak to manager/hr, Mark my words, pg woman WILL - and she’ll lie through her teeth to get you disciplined- it worse.

MzHz · 16/10/2019 07:42

Or worse

SkaraBrae · 16/10/2019 07:52

If she was genuinely unwell and pregnancy sick she would make sure she had available drinks with her wherever she went.

She's just an entitled twat.

I feel sorry for her partner if she's like that at home.

SkaraBrae · 16/10/2019 07:54

And yes, you need to speak to your manager. Tell them that you might be sympathetic to pregnancy sickness but it is not your responsibility to fund her cravings.

BatshitBertha · 16/10/2019 07:59

I don't agree with involving work, or other colleagues.

The very simple solution is to stop putting your stuff in the fridge.....should you have to do this? No of course not. But it will stop this game playing immediately, I think this woman is trying to draw the OP into a much bigger drama and conflict here. Do you really want to be the person who raised a grievance over a can of drink?

Just back away from her craziness.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/10/2019 08:01

Get something like this (see below). Can will be open. You already drink out of it so if she wants your germs mwhahaha

I wouldn't put it past this CF to spit in OP's drink.

I wouldn't risk that.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/10/2019 08:06

You could ask pregzilla if she's sure she's up the duff.

Is she absolutely sure it's not just a massive build-up of gaseous wind from stolen carbonated drinks? Will everybody be blown out off the window when she farts?

I mean, I'm not a scientist, but . . . Hmm

QueenofallIsee · 16/10/2019 08:06

Op, she is a bully and I am sorry this is happening to you. It’s a silly thing that under normal circumstances would be easily sorted so I feel for you.

Please email your boss and express how bewildered you are that a simple request not to take your lunch has resulted in this campaign of weirdness. Get in front of it now.

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