To think don't keep taking my drink at work?

[openitsoicanseeyousmile]

I'm known to bring a can of drink in everyday for lunch. It's kept in the shared fridge at work - Everyone knowns it's mine as there's a little section box for each person with their name on.

A colleague of mine is pregnant and for the third time has taken my drink and not bothered replacing it. When questioned, she says something along the lines of "Sorry! Bad sickness. This helps. I'll get a new one for you tomorrow".

She always does, it's there the following day. But it means having to go out at lunchtime to get another one. The local shop is only 2 minutes away but it means eating up time I don't have since I have 30 minutes lunch.

I'm really not sure how to go about it. If it was the usual person, I'd tell them to stop the cheek and buy their own to bring in! But she's pregnant and suffering from sickness. I had HG with my son so I feel awful at the thought of telling her she can most certainly never take from me again without asking

I remember the horrendous feeling of needing something sweet and fizzy to curve the sickness and it did often help, so I imagine it's very helpful to her.

Perhaps I should buy a multipack and suggest she goes half's so we can both enjoy them during the week? Or is this too doormat like?

I'm really not sure how to go about it. I don't think she thinks she's being cheeky in the slightest, and is an otherwise lovely colleague.

What would you do? I usually have no issues being assertive but I feel as if the lines have been blurred.

Openit, I feel for you. Get a lockable cool bag and don't engage. Cut off the opportunities for her to manipulate.
This is turning into a situation now where you are worried and that shouldn't be the case.

Haha, she's a clever one, isn't she?

Cover your arse, OP, she's outwitted you.

I should stop drinking fizzy pop if I were you - they're terrible for you anyway. (Or like pp suggested, go for energy drinks she shouldn't have).

Listen, just don't put any more drinks in the fridge for now. Use a cooler bag, keep it in ice through the morning, bring cordial for your desk to add to water, just stop being a dependable source of drama and fizzy drinks for this loon.

Ginger The thing is, that colleague would've considered me a right stingenif I'd hadnsaid no. I didn't have the heart to break into detail about everything that's gone on - It seemed too much. I really got caught in headlights and didn't know what to do.

I feel so bloody stupid but I honestly don't know how I'd have said NO when the colleague didn't know the background

If it was a genuine situation I'd have jumped to give it to her myself

Sounds like she’s playing games with you now. She must know exactly what she’s doing. There’s no logical reason why she wouldn’t just bring her own can in other than that she’s trying to get one over on you.

I think I would just stop bringing a drink in for a couple of days or would freeze it at home and then bring it in and let it defrost in a lunch bag over the morning. Otherwise she’s just drawing you in to a stupid battle and unfortunately because she’s pregnant she knows she’s got the trump card and can get sympathy from the rest of the office.

I actually can't believe the update, she's is deffo a CF. I'd update the colleague and your boss on all of this.

Do you know if she had brought her own drink in today?

I’d have given it to her as well, OP. Don’t stress.

No she didn't bring in her own today.

But this seems to steep to be over getting a free drink now. I think it has gotten much more personal than that

She's got you beat.

There's nothing you can do that won't make you look petty and like you're stingy/unkind to pregnant women. And your employer won't want to know cos it's so trivial and ridiculous. And you should avoid dragging more colleagues into it.

Just give in. Stop putting drinks in the fridge/drink something she can't have.

Buy the KA grape in the bottle and if she wants to take it say sorry I have predissolved my medication in it that is why I switched to bottles

But this seems to steep to be over getting a free drink now. I think it has gotten much more personal than that

She’s targeting you and using her pregnancy as her trump card, she’s no longer a CF but a bully and vindictive devious one at that.

Others won’t but I view this as workplace bullying.

Honestly bring in the cool bag, get the fridge safe or just drink your drink warm, personally I’d get the fridge safe. To me that would be the most passive aggressive way of thumbing my nose at her and still getting my drink.

Or just keep it in the cool bag and ignore her be bright and breezy with her if forced into interaction and don’t give her any form of reaction. She’ll go on maternity soon and you’ll be rid of her for a fair while.

She’s a bitch.

Your update makes me feel sick too! I think this woman sounds unhinged.
Give up now.
Keep notes of everything that's happened, keep your drink in a coolbag, and ignore her as much as possible.
She isn't likely to let this go. She's going to try to cause you more issues I think. If she does, go to your boss. And pray desperately that she decides not to come back from maternity leave!

Who's going to believe that after all this, skihound? Plus the woman doesn't usually ask, she just takes it - so really, are you asking OP to pretend to the woman after the event that there was medication in the bottle and what, she should get medical advice? That's fucking escalation.

And I absolutely agree that this is now bullying.

If it's visible in the fridge, the woman will enlist colleagues to ask OP for it because she's feeling unwell again - and OP will look a prick if she refuses.

Wow she's absolutely determined to win isn't she? Oh I'm angry on your behalf, what a sly, manipulative bitch! Is there any possibility she recruited this other colleague as part of a ruse to make you feel bad? It sounds a bit out there but she sounds focused on getting her own way, and making you apologise for daring to say no to her!
She isn't going to stop taking your drink, I would keep a drink in a cool bag by your desk from now on. You shouldn't have to change how you do things but at least that way, you'd get a drink at lunch and she'd be forced to get her own stuff from now on. Fuck this drama.

@category12

She did ask today though, albeit via a proxy.

I think @skihound has a good idea. Just put a ‘do not drink, OP’s drink with medication’ label on it.

She's a cow and a bully. Go to HR before she gets there first, OP.

And run the risk of her "accidentally" drinking it and having a drama, and OP having to own up that there's no medication in it?

Alternatively, slip something nasty-tasting into the drink. Obvs you can't do the classic laxative trick as she's preggers.

@category12 why did op have to own up to it?

Did you explain to your colleague later on that she had been stealing off you?

She's a CF of the highest order. BUT you now need to stop this.

She can play the pregnancy card and you'll look like a heartless cow.

Until it blows over drink something else and keep it out of the fridge.

Because if the woman is prepared to go to the lengths of feigning sickness to get hold of OP's drink today to make a point, she's perfectly capable of saying she needs to go to the hospital if she drank OP's "medicated" drink. You're not suggesting OP should let her waste NHS time, I hope?