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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just not know what I want to do?

10 replies

SpecialKRocks223 · 12/10/2019 13:53

Literally if you gave me £50k and said here, you're 17 again, go to university and study absolutely anything you want... I wouldn't have a clue.

I'm 35 years old and I've had huge self esteem issues over the last few years. I think part of the problem is that at work I'm often surrounded by successful people who know what they want, are all better paid than me and are all qualified. Some of them started as juniors or still doing exams and they're now probably earning thousands more than I am moving into higher ranks. Whilst I'm still in the same role...

I'm a secretary and whilst it's not the worst job in the world it's not a career and I'm so bored with it. I've had two long term jobs, both in admin. I've done online questionnaires to find my ideal job and it pretty much said the one I do! There's nothing I'm really good at or really passionate about. I was asked in my appraisal what my goals were for 5 years time and I shrugged and said I just want to be happy. Be surrounded with family and friends etc. It's true, not everyone is hugely academic or ambitious and not everyone has a glittering career. I don't handle people or stress well anyway, but I still feel like a loser sometimes.

I don't think there's an answer really, I know if I'm fed up it's only me who can change it. I'm just envious of people who know what they want to do!

OP posts:
SpecialKRocks223 · 12/10/2019 16:06

Just me then :-)

OP posts:
CAG12 · 12/10/2019 17:28

"There's nothing I'm really good at or really passionate about"

Its really hard to give any kind of solid advice when you've said this

To find something you like you need to broaden you're horizons a bit and step out of your comfort zone.

onyourway · 12/10/2019 17:31

Maybe your joy comes from your friends and family outside work? There's no shame in that.

MsChatterbox · 12/10/2019 17:35

I'm the same. I'm a sahm mum atm and have no idea what I want to once my children are school age. I'm studying bookkeeping but I don't feel passionate about it. I have a degree in sports science and the plan was to do my pgce but I just hear so many negatives about teaching and I'm thoroughly put off.

I think what would help me is if I had a hobby I was passionate about so at least then I had something that was just me that I was succeeding in. Do you think finding a new hobby would be good for you?

MsChatterbox · 12/10/2019 17:36

Or what about being a personal assistant for someone high up like political or something similar?

Switcher88 · 12/10/2019 17:43

Did you go to university or did you go straight into work?

If you don't have any interest in doing a particular career and just want to prioritise your life outside work I don't think that is odd or unusual really. And in your role you probably have a better work/life balance than most of your colleagues, which is worth something?

Sn0tnose · 12/10/2019 18:10

I think that, before you make any life changing decisions, you need to work out whether you actually want to progress in your current role, or you want a change to something less boring or whether you’re actually perfectly happy where you are but are just feeling like you should be as ambitious as everyone around you.

CornishCreation · 12/10/2019 18:21

Working isn't for everybody it's just something we're expected to do, I'm an introvert and get exhausted with busy people buzzing around me all day and I can't wait to get home and recover, I give the bare minimum at work because I resent having to be there and no jobs any different I just hate working and love being at home with my family. Got to pay the bills though, I think ADHD plays a big part sometimes, staying focused and concentrating can be a struggle which leads to unbelievable boredom.
Maybe have lots of sick days when you need a break? And keep doing that lotto!

SpecialKRocks223 · 13/10/2019 07:25

I'm a massive introvert too and do feel socially exhausted by 6pm. I didn't go to university, left college with a business admin NVQ and went straight to work. I agree about possibly just feeling like I SHOULD be as ambitious as everybody else

OP posts:
highwindowsbluesky · 13/10/2019 07:27

Op, do you feel passionate about anything outside of work?

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