DS is 7 and is currently in primary 4. Every parents evening has been the same since he started school. Very bright, polite, kind, has great general knowledge and is very good at reading and maths. Has never struggled with any of the coursework but is easily distracted, doesn’t always pay attention, can be chatty etc. The teacher feels he needs to take more responsibility for himself as he ‘leaves a trail of destruction’ in the sense that he loses things a lot, forgets to bring his homework home, generally leaves things at his backside.
I do agree with these things although he is an only child at home and not with 30 other kids so he is obviously much better but I am struggling to find a way to encourage him to be more focused etc at school. I have asked the teacher if some kind of behaviour card or weekly email home would help so that I can monitor it too and reward or punish (for want of a better word) where appropriate. The teacher doesn’t want to single him out as she said it is a minor issue and she’s not massively concerned. I am worried that as he has had the same issue since starting school that without any action he will start to struggle or fall behind. Does anyone have any experience in this kind of situation or suggestions?
The next issue is worrying me massively. Since the beginning of 2019 DS has had an issue with another boy in his class. Sometimes they would be friends and other times this boy would have angry outbursts resulting in chasing DS around the classroom, hitting him, being mean etc. From what DS has said it sounds like the boy has quite a difficult home life and anger issues. I was concerned that DS wasn’t as innocent in all of this as he has made out so made it clear to him that he should not provoke the other boy at all, be polite to him but stay away from him. Since school when back after the summer DS has come home with different stories every day. The boy chased him around the classroom, DS had to be removed for his own safety until the boy was restrained and sent home, he pulled his jacket over his head and started hitting him, poured yoghurt over him - in my opinion, it sounded like my son is being bullied. They had a school trip earlier this week and DS made the comment that the best part of the trip was that this boy wasn’t allowed to come. This made me really sad for both the other boy and DS.
The issue was discussed at parents evening and the teacher has confirmed that the boy had taken a disliking to DS and that DS is not antagonising him at all. She said that half the time DS won’t even have looked at the other boy for him to start. DS has now started to answer this boy back when he is being mean to him. My issue is the teacher has said that they are taking steps to deal with this boy but that DS has to learn to ignore him. I personally feel that it is very unreasonable to ask a 7 year old who has been getting picked on for almost a year now to just ignore it, especially when there is physical violence. DS is a very confident, outgoing little boy but there are plenty of kids who would end up not wanting to go to school with this kind of treatment waiting for them. The teacher also said that DS is starting to have moments when he gets irate/angry and has to have a few minutes to calm down. She is not concerned about this as she said he manages it well and everyone has their own coping techniques but I am concerned. I have never encountered this kind of behaviour in my son. He’s far from perfect but I have never really seen him angry. I’m now worried that the situation with the other boy is starting to affect him although I understand it could just be DS.
I feel incredibly sorry for the other child as I know he obviously doesn’t have the easiest time and has some issues but I am becoming increasingly worried about the schools lack of effort to resolve this situation and the affect it could potentially have on my own child. I am debating giving it a few weeks/a month after half term, seeing how things go and arranging a more formal meeting with the school. I have no experience with this kind of thing and I’m worried that I’m not handling it properly. Does anyone have any advice? Sorry for the ridiculously long post!