How to get over a crush?!!

[mamamasala]

I have a huge crush. It's horrible and I want it to go away.

The guy is a friend of my dad's but closer in age to me. He's lovely, very good looking, intelligent etc etc. Thing is my confidence is rock bottom, I've just come out of a highly abusive relationship, and whenever I'm around this guy I get flustered and can't really hold a conversation.

I am 99% sure he doesn't fancy me and I also have a 1 year old who takes up most of my time.

I would love to pursue this but I can't. It's probably not the right time and I honestly don't think he likes me.

I've never had a crush like this before. It's been about 8 months. How do I make it go away?!!

I live with my dad and he comes over regularly and he's also at most social events...

I know how horribly pathetic this all sounds...

Bump

Finding someone else to date, if that’s a possibility, would keep your mind off him for a while.

I feel for you, it's an awful feeling, especially if you're sure it's not reciprocated. Can you try not being there when you know he's coming around?

It's a shitty feeling and I am so sure it isn't reciprocated. Hence why I just want it to go away. I could go out but he comes over a lot and in the evenings when my son is asleep. I can't move out of my dad's yet for numerous reasons and really I just need to get over it. I don't have the time to date ANYONE at the moment. It sucks. I like him so much.

Be really kind and gentle to yourself, OP. Leaving an abusive relationship is huge - you will take a while to get back to knowing yourself properly again. I say this with absolute kindness (I've been there), you may well be projecting onto this chap. What I mean by that is - you've come out of a difficult relationship, one which you probably valued for a long time, and with a child involved, hoped would last forever. It didn't work out that way. You've been through some difficult times and the "ideal" you had in your head, has gone. You're sad. Hurt and lost. You've met someone lovely, and you think to yourself "if only". It may be that the guy is everything you perceive or imagine him to be. But he may be someone completely different to all the things you imagine. Either way, it sounds as if you need to give yourself a little bit more time to feel whole again, to know who you are, and have confidence in yourself. When the time's right, you'll feel it, others will see it in you, and meeting someone real will happen naturally. No rush x

You sound lovely OP and not desperate at all, just like you have been hurt and are sensible enough to realise that it's not the right time for you, which is miles better than jumping into something too soon.

Maybe imagine him having a big smelly poo or imagine him biting his toenails or picking his nose. Try to un-sexy him in your mind!

When the right time comes you will find someone lovely.