To feel like such a bad mum

[purplepolo]

I feel like all i have done this week is shout and get stressed out at my toddler. My patience is just soo thin and every night when she goes to bed i just feel shit from how the day has been, how i shouldnt have been so shouty, that shes going to hate me and just remember me shouting.

Today just seemed especially hard, everything was a battle, and i just find myself getting so stressed out my first reaction is just to shout. 31 weeks pregnant and im just shattered.

Im sat here now balling my eyes out because i feel like the shittest mum in the world, and that my own daughter must hate me and is going to hate me because im a terrible mum and its only going to get worse when new baby is here.

I cant stop crying, i wish i was less stressed and i dont understand why my patience is wearing so thin with her i just feel fucking awful. Someone help me because im just ripping my hair out over this :(

You’re tired and hormonal please don’t beat yourself up. I’m sorry didn’t want to read and run. Lots of mums here will offer supportive stories.

OP I feel the same sometimes, it breaks my heart too. But the truth is raising little people is really hard. You’re also not going to be yourself being heavily pregnant, I remember finding that time especially hard as well.

Just try & take it easy tomorrow, forget the house work etc. Just sit & interact with your daughter. We’re all guilty of saying ‘I’ll play in a minute I need to do this. OMG STOP DOING THAT!’ Blah blah... you’re not alone.

Your dd most certainly does not hate you, tomorrow’s a new day, make it a better one

Oh OP I understand. I am 20 weeks and I have a DD who is 2.5. I have been exhausted and stressy with her since I was about 8 weeks pregnant.
The guilt is horrible isn't it? But it's hard. Really hard, we are carrying around a little human who is zapping all of our energy and making us super emotional.
I too agree with OP that tomorrow is a new day. Challenge yourself to laugh at least twice with your DD tomorrow.

Please, please don't beat yourself up though. Your DD knows you love her and to be quite honest she won't remember this anyway. It can all change. Sending positive vibes x

Tiredness makes such a difference to patience levels. Don’t beat yourself up, but do go to bed early whenever you get the chance.

Tomorrow when your daughter gets up she won't "remember" you shouted, all she will know is that her mummy is there for her, she most definitely will not hate you.

You're beating yourself up over something that in the grand scheme is minor, you're pregnant, you have a toddler, it's no wonder you are stressed.

I don't have any advice regarding how you should stop yourself from reacting by shouting but just from one woman to another, you are doing your best and that is all any of us can ever do.

You DD will just be happy to see mummy tomorrow.

Being pregnant and having a toddler is tough going, you are doing the best you can, but I agree with a PP tomorrow, no housework, simply sit, chill and play with your daughter. We normally only get shouty when we know the list of things won't get done on time, so have no list.

Enjoy the time with your toddler before newborn is here as well.

I’m so sorry, op. I could write your post every night and I’m not even pregnant. It’s very hard. I feel guilt/ relief every time I get my toddler to bed. I shouted repeatedly at him tonight as he’d been letting out blood curdling screams as I tried to give him dinner- which it became obvious he was too tired to eat. I was so anxious to ensure he was having a healthy meal that I lost it (I’m worried he’s not eating enough good food). I wonder if sometimes it’s better to just give in and give him some toast than bother with healthy meals and cause such problems.

I’m not comparing myself to you- you have a lot more on your plate. Please don’t make yourself feel bad, your toddler won’t even remember tomorrow. Just try to make tomorrow a better day and forget about it x

Thanks everyone

My mum offered to have her today for a few hours so ive managed to catch up on everything that needed doing. I think its just the long days on my own where my partner has now got a new job so is out the house 5am - 6pm, dd has dropped her midday nap, but she gets tired and grumpy but just wont nap so we power on till bed time! I feel better now ive caught up on everything, its just one less thing on my mind.

She got up this morning and i just gave her a massive cuddle and kisses and just had a really lovely momment with her snuggled up in bed. Thank you all for being so understanding its nice to see its not just me x

I’m a single mum of 5. I know the feeling. I’m constantly judging myself and I think I’m awful. I do so much shouting and blaming. I think I’m menopausal too while is probably adding to the stress in the same way as your hormone levels will be affecting you. I’m just having a lie down on the sofa to recharge a bit and then try to be a better mum later! I hope you feel better. Your daughter definitely does not hate you.

I was a horrible shouty mum when I was pregnant too. I was just so bone achingly tired and my patience was paper thin. My poor little boy was shouted at for things that wouldn’t usually bother me and I still feel bad about it. The good news is that I found looking after a newborn and a toddler much, much easier than being pregnant with a toddler. I’m no longer a shouty mum and my little boy doesn’t remember any of it. Can you get a bit of time to yourself to recharge? I always find that helps a lot.

Oh I didn’t see your latest update. That’s great your mum can help give you some free time

I have more days like this than I would like to admit, today being one! I have 3 boys (14, 5 and almost 2) and some days it feels like nothing makes anyone happy and I'm the world's biggest failure. And then other days I wake up and I deal with everything like an absolute boss, finishing the day feeling ridiculously proud of myself. You're only human and everyone has their off days. Your littlun won't remember grumpy mummy for anywhere near as long as you will! Cut yourself some slack and take any help when it's offered because those pockets of rest will be your god send! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and remember not one parent on this planet has the patience of a saint, not everyone is willing to admit it out loud x 💐