boundaries with his colorist MIL??

[Wwydplz]

DS is a blond toddler.
DD is darker skin and tanned and not MILs definition of beauty.

She spends all her life commenting on my white blond son taking after his beautiful dad..

My DD was born recently and her comments about my son being handsome and fair skinned are being thrown in at wrong moments which makes it clear to me that she is comparing.. and shaming my daughter through my son..

She has form for doing that to her own kids..

I can’t help but feel she will manipulate my kids and cause rifts between them.

What sort of boundary should be communicated to her indirect manipulative style ?? And AIBU to expect DH to deal with this?!

I need to state the boundary without sounding sensitive or triggered about the topic.. because if I sound sensitive she will have to suffer becoming a tool for her grandma to use against me and my poor dd will have her self esteem floored..

I truly hope I learn how to boost her self esteem and build her emotional resilience.

I know the answer would be to go LC with MIL but it’s not an easy option right now..

I’m gonna try surround her with so much genuine love That her grandmother’s toxicity doesn’t matter no more..